Klein Bottles, and why you need one before the zombie apocalypse!

heckler73

heckler73

Well-Known Member
This is some of the slickest advertising I've seen in a long time, so I thought I'd share it. At the same time, it is a bizarre display of strange topology.

http://www.kleinbottle.com/baby_klein.htm

Acme's Baby Klein Bottle
babyinhand2.jpg

A mighty small Klein Bottle -- a German might say it's eine kleine Klein Bottle. (Or maybe, "eine kleine Kleinsche Flasche")

At 11 cm (4.5 inches) high, it's about the size of an avocado ... snuggles right into your palm. Ideal for elementary school topologists, as well as graduate students living on street corners.

Includes all the features which have made our Classical Klein Bottle a hit: immersed (not embedded) in 3-dimensions with exactly one handle and one hole. Certified Y2K compliant and made entirely from Baryonic materials.

While it rests upright on any table or granite optical bench, we don't recommend this style for earthquake country, since it's easily tipped over. But because it's so small, it'll only take a few thousand ergs of energy to set it upright.

This quality, shrink-resistant, zero-volume, borosilicate manifold is yours for a mere $35 ... less than it costs to own the Mayor of Chicago!

  • - Height about 110 to 120mm (4 to 4 1/2 inches)
  • - Diameter 55 mm (2 inches) give or take a smidgen
  • - Weight: 60 gm (2 oz)
  • - Displacement 140 ml (5 fluid ounces)
  • - Actual volume 0.0 ml (0 fluid ounces)
  • - Fully calibrated with a removable decal
Like ACME's other fine Klein Bottles, this is handcrafted from pure Borosilicate Glass ... Pyrex, Kimax, Bomex, or Simax. It has a bulk density: 2.23 gm/cm3 and expands just 0.000326% per degree C. This means that it'll shrink only a few microns when you trek from Lands End to Penzance. Nor should you worry about it dissolving -- we have tested samples in water, acetone, methyl-ethyl-ketone, and Jello. Note that the fingers shown in the photo are mine (Cliff) and do not come with the Klein Bottles, although my fingerprints likely do.


I don't know. I might order one just because it is fucked up. :lol:
 
I googled it.
Seems to just be a novelty-math thing that doesn't have an actual use.
Not that there is anything wrong with that.
Seems like it would be great on a coffee table.
Pretty interesting to gaze at.
 
killemsoftly said:
I googled it.
Seems to just be a novelty-math thing that doesn't have an actual use.
Not that there is anything wrong with that.
Seems like it would be great on a coffee table.
Pretty interesting to gaze at.
Click to expand...

That's the point; it has no functional value outside of demonstrating some maths in a visual form. It is literally "math art". I see it as a beautiful demonstration of how the complex plane works, how continuity is maintained by "piercing" the plane. In fact, if your brain is adequately loaded with AChE-inhibitors (consult your local doobie for more info), you may enjoy watching this:
Warning: The math is complex, literally and typologically, but it explains why this stuff works the way it does.

He also sells a "Klein Bottle Wine Bottle" where it is emphatically stated it's not for storing wine. And yet you know some idiot is going to try anyway :lol:
 
killemsoftly said:
I googled it.
Seems to just be a novelty-math thing that doesn't have an actual use.
Not that there is anything wrong with that.
Seems like it would be great on a coffee table.
Pretty interesting to gaze at.
Click to expand...
i could make a bong out of that.

what more do you require from it?
 
Last edited:
Dr Kynes said:
i could make a bong out of that.

what more do you require from it?
Click to expand...
But therein lies the trick. Where does the stem go?
I saw a "higher dimension" Klein with multiple paths (i.e. multiple piercings of the sheath), so perhaps it is possible with one of those. But I don't think a practical Klein Bong can be made using only one surface pierce, as above.

Of course, I could be wrong ;)
 
heckler73 said:
But therein lies the trick. Where does the stem go?
I saw a "higher dimension" Klein with multiple paths (i.e. multiple piercings of the sheath), so perhaps it is possible with one of those. But I don't think a practical Klein Bong can be made using only one surface pierce, as above.

Of course, I could be wrong ;)
Click to expand...
babyinhand2.jpgall you need is a bowl, a large cork, a diamond drill bit, some surgical tube and some epoxy and youre smoking non-newtonian dope!

Science Bitches!
 
That's basically how I figured it could be done, but I didn't think about sticking a stopper/tube up the hole. Also note that you had to pierce the manifold again.
I was thinking about a way it could be done as a "gravity" bong. Insert the bowl, light and slowly invert. Let the water pressure "suck" the hit in, then remove the bowl, turn back into upright position and empty the hit.
Although, that would still need a carb hole...and the hit would be minimal.

FUCK...it's impractical no matter what :lol:
 
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