Kids say the darndest things...

cannabineer · Nov 11, 2019

raratt said:
One of my friends kids would call a fire truck a tire f*ck. We'd have some beers and get her to say it for grins.

My one-year-old boy would call a train a choo-choo truck. But pronounced toddler style, it came out impressively digestive/impolite.
Clock, truck and fork were all pronounced the same. He still uses the word to this day, though with some evolution of emphasis what with he’s 19 and employed.

DustyDuke · Nov 11, 2019

neosapien said:
The wife made Black Silkie Chicken soup for dinner and lil neo decided she's all of a sudden freaked out by it. She then proclaimed that she's now a vegetarian. I said cool. We then went down the list of what she can't eat now. There was only one deal breaker. So my kid is now a vegetarian (that eats beef jerky).

My daughter is a vegetarian (mums a vegan) but won’t give up bacon.
It makes me so happy when she eats it.
My wife just sits there glaring at me.
Which makes even happier.
Nice thread mate!

DustyDuke · Nov 11, 2019

My 2 year old says “piss” instead of “this”.
When we go shopping I get weird looks when he is constantly grabbing things saying “I want piss ” if I ignore him he yells “PISS DADDY PISS”.

JohnGlennsGarden · Dec 20, 2019

Two year old grabs an extra sucker for her sister, that's at school, when leaving the pediatrician. She finishes her sucker on the car ride home and proceeds to open the second sucker.

"Sissy wasn't proud or brave at the Dr, Mom," and puts it in her mouth.

neosapien · Dec 23, 2019

One of the funnier things you see is when you walk past their bedroom when they're supposed to be sleeping and witness the deer in the headlights-swan dive like a sack of potatoes- back into bed.

JohnGlennsGarden · Dec 28, 2019

Kids.
After opening countless presents for two days, instead of playing with them, mine spent the better part of Christmas night building a "machine" out of this 12 pack to dispense their candy. :roll:

Yep. They're mine.

lokie · Dec 28, 2019

JohnGlennsGarden said:
Kids.
After opening countless presents for two days, instead of playing with them, mine spent the better part of Christmas night building a "machine" out of this 12 pack to dispense their candy.
Yep. They're mine.View attachment 4445011 View attachment 4445012 View attachment 4445013 View attachment 4445014

That is a creative way to spend the afternoon.

Thanks for sharing.

What ages?
At least they were not trying to hack your Pornhub password. :wink:

sandman83 · Dec 28, 2019

lokie said:
That is a creative way to spend the afternoon.

Thanks for sharing.

What ages?
At least they were not trying to hack your Pornhub password.

12345, who uses a password like that?? remind me to change my luggage code.

I love the canding dispensing machine, that is ingenious. My son keeps trying to get me into Minecraft but I just don't get the appeal.....

JohnGlennsGarden · Dec 28, 2019

sandman83 said:
12345, who uses a password like that?? remind me to change my luggage code.

I love the canding dispensing machine, that is ingenious. My son keeps trying to get me into Minecraft but I just don't get the appeal.....

Not really gamers. We might break out the wii 3, 4 times a year. Soccer balls are dribbled around the house, constantly and I built some pretty legit monkey bars for a last bday. That's how we roll.

Singlemalt · Dec 28, 2019

JohnGlennsGarden said:
Kids.
After opening countless presents for two days, instead of playing with them, mine spent the better part of Christmas night building a "machine" out of this 12 pack to dispense their candy.
Yep. They're mine.View attachment 4445011 View attachment 4445012 View attachment 4445013 View attachment 4445014

"DAD!!!!! refill our candy machine!!!"

DustyDuke · Jan 2, 2020

My 2 year old just went to town with the honey in our hallway. Here’s what I sort of scraped off the floor.

scumrot derelict · Jan 7, 2020

About a month or so ago, my (now teenager) declared me a "total cuntflap!" for saying no to her request for funds to take a trip to Arizona to hang out with her friends in an unsupervised house for 2 entire weeks straight.

that fucking stung actually, not gonna lie.

and then the fucking face. I had to see the fucking face. All parents know the one...

"total cuntflap!" --- </3

non_non_biyori-04-renge_miyauchi-first_grader-crying-tears-sad-blush-troubled-goodbye-parting-...jpg

curious2garden · Jan 8, 2020

scumrot derelict said:
About a month or so ago, my (now teenager) declared me a "total cuntflap!" for saying no to her request for funds to take a trip to Arizona to hang out with her friends in an unsupervised house for 2 entire weeks straight.

that fucking stung actually, not gonna lie.

and then the fucking face. I had to see the fucking face. All parents know the one...

"total cuntflap!" --- </3

View attachment 4452017

Ahh how could you not!! CUNTWAFFLE

scumrot derelict · Jan 8, 2020

curious2garden said:
Ahh how could you not!! CUNTWAFFLE

I AM THE WORLD'S LARGEST CUNTFLAP C2G!

she wanted $400 - that seems a little suspicious for a teenager to be carrying around right? i'm not totally out of touch here?

curious2garden · Jan 8, 2020

scumrot derelict said:
I AM THE WORLD'S LARGEST CUNTFLAP C2G!

she wanted $400 - that seems a little suspicious for a teenager to be carrying around right? i'm not totally out of touch here?

In teenage dollars that is quite reasonable.

scumrot derelict · Jan 8, 2020

curious2garden said:
In teenage dollars that is quite reasonable.

Fuck. Really? My sister said the same thing, too! I told her she was just being dumb and wanted to dunk on me cause I'm better looking than her.

Now it is known. Forever branded.

BarnBuster · Feb 15, 2020

jerryb73 · Feb 19, 2020

Daughter tonight while eating ribs. If we were vegetarians we would be missing out on these ribs :grin:

neosapien · Mar 10, 2020

The kid just stared at my scruff and said "daddy you got white hair". Then asked "Are you old?". Fuck, I am now.

Craigson · Mar 10, 2020

On Ellen they were talking about ‘something youve tried once but will never do again’
Little man (5yr old) blurts out ‘white cheese’ hahhahaha

Kids say the darndest things...

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