I Just Need to Bounce This off the Community. Venting, Mostly.

Jack Harer

Well-Known Member
On Jan 27, 2010, I got busted for manufacturing marijuana in XXXXXX. The Xxxx authorities came to my house in XX (another state) and arrested me. During the course of their search of my house, the XX authorities discovered about 3 grams of pot, and a gun, so I was charged in my home state with possession of MJ and a gun.
Of course, I took all of the charges (even though my wife was into it up to her eyeballs, and all for the grow.) I had repeatedly asked her if she was OK with the grow, and that if she wasn't, I'd stop. "NO, NO!! Don't stop! I'm fine with it". Was her reply each time I asked. I started out growing HER pot, as I didn't smoke at that time. I got her used to (and spoiled on) the best kind bud. I started smoking again shortly thereafter, it saved my life by getting me off alcohol. I kept her from smoking schwag, dealing with different, and inconsistent people, and saved us a whole lot of money in the process.
There was no contact between us (per her lawyer) while her case was going on. After her case was decided, and all charges were dropped against her, I expected that we'd be in contact, and that I'd have the support of my wife again thru these trying times. I was OK with taking everything, as long as I had her “by my side” so to speak.
For the 9 months I awaited trial, she came and visited twice. She put $40 dollars on my books. That was the last I saw or heard from her. My son (who did visit sporadically) said she was afraid to come or write. I finally got real depressed, and made a deal in Xx for 9 months detention center, 5 years probation.
After serving 9 months, I was extradited to XXXX to await trial. My bond was reduced to a point where I was able to bond out (after 19 months, all told) I still await court in XX as I write this.
My son picked me up at the county jail, and when I got home, I found myself ERASED from my own home. Not a trace that I had ever lived here exists!!!! I asked where all my clothes were and was informed that they were packed in the boxes in the spare room. No offers to help find anything, I'm just being told that “it's all in there”. My toothbrush, beard trimmer, razors, everything was packed away, and has yet to be found. I had to buy all new with what little I had left. I have to beg for what little I ask for like cigs, or a soda from time to time, I have no true idea how much money we have, as the bank account is now in her name. I know we aint got much, but damn. The only food that gets bought I buy from my food stamps!!! When we're out of food, she's fine with Fast food. I thought we were broke?
No “Thank you for keeping us out of things” or anything!!! I did 19 months to come home to this shit?? Am I wrong to be bent out of shape like this???? Right now, I have SO much rage and so many issues for having been literally abandoned for all this time, I don't think I can move past that. I'm trying real hard to not be a dick about things, but I feel like I'm gonna explode!!


Sorry for the rant. I had to tell someone, 'cuz when I tell the ones near and dear to me, It feels like it's falling on deaf ears.
 

chasmtz

Active Member
I have the support of my wife for my grow. It is actually for her as well. I know that my wife would go down with me and have trouble letting me take the fall, which I would do as well. You should have a lot of pride for "taking one for the team." In my humble opinion, and im an asshole, I would not stick around for that. I know that if I took the fall for my family that my wife would be so grateful that she would be visiting often, putting cash on the books, and helping to support my case. Again, im not you and I'm sure having a child in the mix really changes perspectives(my wife is actually 2 months pregnant and my perspective on many things is already changing) BUT, I wouldnt stand for the abandonment myself. just my .02
 

lakew00d

Well-Known Member
Man, she should be happy your her husband. You did 19 months and saved her ass from getting charged.

I think you have a right to be a dick. you shouldn't be "erased" from your own house. no one should ever be treated like that. thats rather rude.
IMO you didnt do anything wrong. You asked and asked if she was okay with it.
Go for a walk or something dont do anything that would hurt anyone. and that youd regret.

But man. Keep your head up, dont give up. it'll all straighten out. the universe works in weird ways.
 

puffenuff

Well-Known Member
I'd be upset too...find out why she packed everything up! Probably was bringing hella dudes over.
 

lakew00d

Well-Known Member
I'd be upset too...find out why she packed everything up! Probably was bringing hella dudes over.
Oh harsh man, we dont wanna fill his mind up with thoughts that could make him feel worse. :/

but weird how she packed all his shit. like thats a party foul x1000
 

Prefontaine

Well-Known Member
On Jan 27, 2010, I got busted for manufacturing marijuana in XXXXXX. The Xxxx authorities came to my house in XX (another state) and arrested me. During the course of their search of my house, the XX authorities discovered about 3 grams of pot, and a gun, so I was charged in my home state with possession of MJ and a gun.
Of course, I took all of the charges (even though my wife was into it up to her eyeballs, and all for the grow.) I had repeatedly asked her if she was OK with the grow, and that if she wasn't, I'd stop. "NO, NO!! Don't stop! I'm fine with it". Was her reply each time I asked. I started out growing HER pot, as I didn't smoke at that time. I got her used to (and spoiled on) the best kind bud. I started smoking again shortly thereafter, it saved my life by getting me off alcohol. I kept her from smoking schwag, dealing with different, and inconsistent people, and saved us a whole lot of money in the process.
There was no contact between us (per her lawyer) while her case was going on. After her case was decided, and all charges were dropped against her, I expected that we'd be in contact, and that I'd have the support of my wife again thru these trying times. I was OK with taking everything, as long as I had her “by my side” so to speak.
For the 9 months I awaited trial, she came and visited twice. She put $40 dollars on my books. That was the last I saw or heard from her. My son (who did visit sporadically) said she was afraid to come or write. I finally got real depressed, and made a deal in Ga for 9 months detention center, 5 years probation.
After serving 9 months, I was extradited to XXX to await trial. My bond was reduced to a point where I was able to bond out (after 19 months, all told) I still await court in XX as I write this.
My son picked me up at the county jail, and when I got home, I found myself ERASED from my own home. Not a trace that I had ever lived here exists!!!! I asked where all my clothes were and was informed that they were packed in the boxes in the spare room. No offers to help find anything, I'm just being told that “it's all in there”. My toothbrush, beard trimmer, razors, everything was packed away, and has yet to be found. I had to buy all new with what little I had left.
No “Thank you for keeping us out of things” or anything!!! I did 19 months to come home to this shit?? Am I wrong to be bent out of shape like this???? Right now, I have SO much rage and so many issues for having been literally abandoned for all this time, I don't think I can move past that. I'm trying real hard to not be a dick about things, but I feel like I'm gonna explode!!


Sorry for the rant. I had to tell someone, 'cuz when I tell the ones near and dear to me, It feels like it's falling on deaf ears.
Sounds kind of like they just moved on, you sure your even welcome back into that home?
 

Nusky

New Member
Maybe she just didn't want to see your stuff.

I did 2 months in the psych ward and my parents barely saw me. They were pissed and all my stuff was packed up cause I had just moved back in. They accepted me back no problem. I'd say just accept it and move on.
 

Jack Harer

Well-Known Member
Nah, Puff, oddly enough that was the LAST worry on my mind. That never happened. My 24 y/o son moved in shortly after the incedent.

I was never really a dick to her (although I can have my moments). For he most psrt, I CATERED to her and spoiled her rotten. Obviously to the point of being taken for granted. I have some plans in the works. I have the Sword of Damocles hanging over her head. Thing are gonna get tense around here, but I aint gonna do anything stupid. It's not my way to be violent or anything. Cops aint getting called here again, thats for sure. Bad thing is, I'm stuck here until I can figure out how to get somewhere other than here.
 

lakew00d

Well-Known Member
have you been looking for a job or anything to help you get out of there if your not welcome any longer?
 

puffenuff

Well-Known Member
Yeah, sorry brother, wasnt trying to make you paranoid. I'm sure your son wouldve kept that situation in check. Was just trying to figure out her reasoning for packing up all your stuff...you talk to your wife yet? Goodluck though, wish you nothing but the best
 

Jack Harer

Well-Known Member
have you been looking for a job or anything to help you get out of there if your not welcome any longer?
Yeah, And I'm 55 y/o. Nobody wants a 55 y/o with heart problems. I get shot down at McDonalds. Even the people who I did business with before, (I owned my own biz) won't have anything to do with me, and a lot of them even smoked my shit!!! They didn't have a prob when I was growing, now when I'm down.......
Yeah, Puff, I have. I was even proud of myself (my son even expressed his admiration at how calm and rational I was) for being calm. Twice now we've had this conversation, and I just get that "deer in the headlights" look. Nothing seems to change.
 

lakew00d

Well-Known Member
and wait... 3 grams? and a gun.. what kind of gun?
3 grams isnt much. nothing worth 19 months
a year or so back, me and a few buddies got busted for smokin' (I didnt smoke at the time so i got lucky)

but we had 1/8 and we had 2 bongs all dirty. 2 of my friends got possession and paraphernalia. I got off clean because they all said i didnt smoke.
and they didnt even take anyone to jail.

but I do understand the law doesnt make sense. our court system is fucked beyond belief
 

Jack Harer

Well-Known Member
Lake, That was in the state my house is in. I had 44 plants in XXXX (another state about 15 miles from my house), at my shop where I was growing. Thats how I kept her out of it. I swore an affidavit that she knew nothing about what went on at my business shop. They are charging me with over 113 plants tho... That case is still pending.
Those 3 grams were in 3 different baggies, one only had residue. They were in HER room. SHE put it in different baggies (why I have no idea) so I got charged with possession with intent over 3 frigging grams.
 

vapedup

Well-Known Member
Dang Jak, hate ur going threw that mate. Hold ur head up high brother, she. Did u a favor, she. Showed her tru colors. I hope u land on ur feet though brother
 

Perfextionist420

Well-Known Member
You don't deserve this man I feel bad this happened to you. Your wife needs to learn to appreciate what you did, stay strong brother And take it one step at a time
 

lakew00d

Well-Known Member
Lake, That was in the state my house is in. I had 44 plants in XXXX (another state about 15 miles from my house), at my shop where I was growing. Thats how I kept her out of it. I swore an affidavit that she knew nothing about what went on at my business shop. They are charging me with over 113 plants tho... That case is still pending.
that is fucked. if you only had 44 dont let them charge you with 113.. thats not right. why do they think they can just tack on another 70? its not car insurance.
Dont let the system threw you around. know your rights.

Keep your head up. dont give up. keep goin'

You don't deserve this man I feel bad this happened to you. Your wife needs to learn to appreciate what you did, stay strong brother And take it one step at a time
No one deserves anything like this. its only a plant. its not meth. not worth 19 months of your life and all this stress.
 

Jack Harer

Well-Known Member
that is fucked. if you only had 44 dont let them charge you with 113.. thats not right. why do they think they can just tack on another 70? its not car insurance.
Dont let the system threw you around. know your rights.

Keep your head up. dont give up. keep goin'
Yeah, I DO know my rights, and a bit about law. They have dead root balls, stems off the floor (cuttings). It will never stick, and we'll take it to trial if need be. I doubt it'll go that far tho. Thanx for listenin' everybody. I hope nobody goes thru this.
 

lakew00d

Well-Known Member
Yeah, I DO know my rights, and a bit about law. They have dead root balls, stems off the floor (cuttings). It will never stick, and we'll take it to trial if need be. I doubt it'll go that far tho. Thanx for listenin' everybody. I hope nobody goes thru this.
Youll make it through it.
 

doser

Well-Known Member
The best that you can do is forget her and move on. Don't let it eat you up. You did the right thing and that's all you can do. I don't believe that things will just work out. You've got to make them work out. I'd start on that like yesterday. Good luck to ya.
 
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