How to keep annoying f#@king children from destroying my garden?

Post signs everywhere, no trespassing, to cover your ass and spread bear traps amongst the yard in hidden areas, just make sure to remember where you set them.
bear-trap1.jpg
bear-trap.jpg

That ought to teach the little bastards a lesson after a severed leg!
 
Those dogs look like they'd try to eat my cats...besides, I'd rather have a wolf pack in my backyard, there's no greater dog than a wolf.

Bear traps are a horrifying invention...can you imagine if other animals in the world treated us like we treat them? We don't deserve to be here with everything else, all we do is kill and destroy everything.

Hey, question with the mace paint balls, what happens if/when the gun jams?
 
I used to destroy peoples gardens when i was a kid, i remember the owner telling me not to over and over but it was where i played, and it didnt register in my head that i was not meant to play there, i think you should definitly put some poison ivy down, they wont want to play there any more, you could also plant some nettles around the bricks the keep knocking over, just try and make the garden the opposite to where you would like to play if you were a kid.
 
This topic has gone on for months on end so i'm guessing you've either got over the children in the garden or they have.....

But in all honesty I read through all the posts and they were fucking hilarious, especially after all the molestation bullshit "If all else fails molest the mom" perfect way to end his post lol.


Besides all the fucking over exaggerated bullshit like "Shoot them", "Lay bear traps" & just saying that you should move out...... i really think the best solution IF speaking to the Mom hasn't worked at all which i'm fucking surprised didn't..... perhaps she's just as much as a derelict as her children at destine to be.... would be to just use the most common input you've been given & that's the Ivy if all else fails (Including molesting the Mom) maybe you could try growing indoors?
 
Even though the kids know you can't lay a hand on them.... that dosn't mean you can scare the shit out of them

i mean its going to be YOUR word on YOUR property against a bunch of 8-10 year old kids... go chase them around with a stick or a hatchet or something scary, or yell at them and say the cops are on there way...... OR fuck up there video games and strew them all over the yard. do some rambo shit
 
Right now my current technique is to throw any toy I find in my garden as far away as possible. The little shits still play baseball back there though...they hit our windows twice...our cars a few times, the garden all the time. Other kids climb all over my other belongings in the backyard, even after being asked not to, so the next step is the paintball gun. I'm going to fire at will on anyone climbing on or destroying my shit. I'll start with paint balls and move up to the mace if necessary.
 
Ive worked with kids and gardens and if you can get them involved they may not love it, but they start to get it. Most kids like catching and killing slugs and shit like that. Anything dirty, watery or sick, bless the little fuckers .
 
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