Great Stoner Quotes

MisterMicro

Well-Known Member
dude people are so talk alot.

ya man, thats so true.

Edit: haha now a regenerated stoner quote, altert once more from the effect of buddah.
 

bluebudmagnus

Active Member
he was a crazy man man. he was a bit cuckoo. insane in the membrane you know what I'm saying?

haha sick, i do the man man thing all the time.

after smoking a few doobies my friend invented something incredible. He'd be a revolutionary thinker had he been born aboout 10,000 years ago. The words that came out of his mouth went a little something like this...

Friend: Ah, wouldn't it be sweet if, instead of being paid in money, we got paid in skins, tobacco and weed....Ah shit no, VOUCHERS for skins, baccy and weed! That'd be sick, right??

Me: That'd be pretty nice man, but it sounds familiar...

Friend: Shit, I just invented money, fucking currency man. I'm good, I know.


Myself and another friend were enjoying a new glass pipe that he'd bought of the magical internet in my car one evening outside a cinema...

Friend was holding said pipe and ading a gauze...

Me: you want the first hit? It is your pipe..your weed...
Friend: you know what? It is my pipe, my weed and, IT'S MY TIME...
Me: Alriiiighttt


Check back for more inventions and cheesy quotes ;-)
 

bluebudmagnus

Active Member
I've just remembered something, I regularly buy a prticular type of skins/papers called Highland Skins. Not sure if you can get them outside the UK. But, they come with dedicated roach card with slogans/poems/generally witty shit.

some of my favourites are...

Don't get angry, get STONED...then get EVEN

When in Rome, Eat Lions.

and...

Fed up? Skin up!

I need another doobie, anyboyd else got anything related??
 

MisterMicro

Well-Known Member
When in doubt, Smoke a fat joint.

Lifes a bitch an then you die, so smoke a fat joint.

and my favorite

Smoke a fat joint.

haha, let me get some divine inspirationbongsmilie
 

Ghosteh

Well-Known Member
Here's one that happened in a car with my brother and some friends.

Him: I'm high as God right now.
Me: Nah. God's not this high.
 

Perfextionist420

Well-Known Member
"Seek truth, observe nature, and educate yourself, and live while you live. Enjoy this life, it's short."


"When the world learns the power of love over the love of power we will experience peace"

"I hate to advocate drugs, alcohol or violence to anyone but they've always worked for me"

"Buy the ticket take the ride"

"When the going gets weird the weird turn pro"

"The edge... there really is no way to explain it because the only people who know where it is are the ones who have gone over."

"The tendency is to push it as far as you can"

"The question is not why, but why not?"

"Why drink and drive when you can smoke and fly?"
 

skint

Active Member
ok just a convo i had in my head resenly and been tripyin on it. ok so im baked as fuck right then i just ramdomly think this up.


Theres two worlds, one the boring normal day life one with war hate and destruction. And then the other world love, peace and joy, no existence of hatred. Now to get to this world of love and peace joy, you have to smoke the herb now, if only every one was stoned every day would there be war? would there be all this hate? would there be all this destruction? all this judgement? all this.

"herb is the gateway to another world of peace love and joy."
 

jinmaster

Well-Known Member
I've just remembered something, I regularly buy a prticular type of skins/papers called Highland Skins. Not sure if you can get them outside the UK. But, they come with dedicated roach card with slogans/poems/generally witty shit.

some of my favourites are...

Don't get angry, get STONED...then get EVEN

When in Rome, Eat Lions.

and...

Fed up? Skin up!

I need another doobie, anyboyd else got anything related??
I used to get them skins before I found better ones you get in the UK, go for Bob Marley Kings they are amazing.
+rep for knowing highland skins.
 

Kodank Moment

Well-Known Member
Me and a friend were baked, when someone took a picture. I said "hey this is a kodank moment!..get it?" No one laughed and I felt retarded. It stuck though and hence my name.
 

Roseman

Elite Rolling Society
DO YOU FEEL MORE LIKE YOU DO NOW, THAN YOU DID A WHILE AGO?

OF DID YOU FEEL LIKE THAT A WHILE AGO, MORE THAN YOU DO NOW?


i JUST KNOW I FEEL LIKE THIS ALL OVER MORE THAN ANYWHERE ELSE.
 

Wiconi

Active Member
Background:
My 17, year old was home and on the night before her 18th birthday, she said she wanted to get stoned as soon as she turned 18. So, At the stroke of midnight, she has the bowl, hits it, and passes it, with the warning,

"You might want to be careful, I think I mighta drooled on that." :weed:


Two minutes later, she reflects:

"You know - it's kinda forked up that the first thing I had to say upon turning 18 was ' You might want to be careful, I think I mighta drooled on that."

WE haven't stopped laughing yet - and she is STILL getting $hit for it!!





CYA byline: This is all made up!
 

xXGun4HyreXx

Active Member
Me, and 2 friends were at a friend of ours' house.
I had to make a phone call, so I went outside for 2 minutes to do the call. I come back inside and my friend James says "Uh, Jack. Matt got totally stoned when you went outside"
So Matt walks in and is like "Dude.. wait a minute.. when the fuck did Jack get here?"
The sad part about it was, I was with him the whole time. I had even bought him an energy drink about 20 minutes before.
So I told him that and he was saying "OOOOOOHHH!" for like 5 straight minutes.
So funny.
 

HoppusTheCaveman

Well-Known Member
here's another really long one. I was doing a survey kind of thing and I just rambled on and on so it probnably doesn't make much sense.

"What is your favor​ite kind of ice cream​?​​​
don't have a favorite ice cream. it's just whatever's floating my boat. or maybe I just wanna try something that I haven't tried before. look at fucking Ben & Jerry's man. they have some whacked out fucking ice cream, and I've tried preotty much all of them. I could honestly say that I love almost all of them too. like, ice cream was supposed to be fucked with. any kind of food is supposed to be. tastes get boring and you just need to throw some spice on it and see if it works. sometimes it's for the worst, but with the right decisions it can become something great. something fucking revolutionary to this world. I mean, imagine what ice cream was branched over from? that's fucking insane. as with everything else nowadays. got to a supermarket and just examine everything that there is. your head would fucking explode thinking hhow someone could've just thought up something like that to make it taste good to not only them, but other people as well. how. it can't just be a mistake that made all of this possible, some real shit was put into figuring out how cupcakes will be tasty. not saying that it doesn't happen by mistake though. look at fucking cavemen. fire, the discovery of fire was revolutionary to what the human race is today. it's like it sparked real thoughts within everyone and the more we thought the better things got. or no, the easier things got, because we fucked up somewhere and now you have big brother sitting on your shoulder, looking at everything that we're doing. and if you do something someone doesn't like, or a certain group of people don't like, he's gonna fucking fuck you. but those groups of people are like the people that make their food to taste better. thy think up of something that they personally like. they give it to people, some like it, others don't. it's like a continuing exchange of minorities of food. a certain group of people who like this specific group of food will just fucking sell out to make everyone else like it even if it doesn't taste all that good. like, look at water. water is the fucking base to most things. we could've just had plain old water, but water kinda sold out to fucking everything. some things that made an even better ingredient.and no we have fucking ther other main things, and they sold out to other things as well. milk sold out to cheese, and butter and shit. all of these things are interconnected somehow and they make one specific thing that can be fucked with a little, but just to a certain extent. those groups are small and weak and sometimes just temporarily exist. like this shit is fucking true with everything, fucking everything. it's like a law that was created by mistake. thought has fucked us so bad in the long run. the only way to unite back to that certain equilibrim where everyone can just like everything, or at least be open minded enough, than that would be a perfect world. that can't happen, it won't. no matteer how much you fight for it, certain people just don't want to listen. there can be peace though I believe. if just we all met half way in a way. we can still disagree with one another, but as long as we can meet to an agreeable point where no one will lose their lives, where no one has to brop that bomb, then we are at peace. I don't think many people can really understand that's what peace is. you have the fake hippie people who just toatlly contradict what peace actually is because they're just being that way as a trend. nothing with a true meaning should be able to stoop to that level. that level of just doing it just to be cool. just to be with the in crowd. look at anything. look at anarchy. I honestly can say that I don't know much about anarchy, but I'm sure the intentions of anarchy wasn't supposed to be sold from Hot Topic and Spencer's. it's a crazy and sadistic world out there children...

soo uuuh....I don't have a favorite flavor of ice cream"
 

RetiredToker76

Well-Known Member
I'm sitting on the floor next to my wife who's buzz for the first time in her life.

Our two best friends (novices) are sitting diagonal to us on the couch.

I'm playing my Zune and the 1968 play 'Hair' has come up in my play list.

All of us being stoned, me VERY stoned, I started singing along.

Our friend:
"Do you realize your husbands sitting on the floor singing show tunes?"

My Wife (Looks down at me):
"Yup"

I break during the chorus:
"Man you just completely don't get it, dude."

My Wife:
"You're stoned."

Me:
"Let the sunshine in, the sun-shine in..."

Wife:
"Shit he's singing show tunes.."


:weed::weed:

It's really hard to tell a story stoned.

-RT76
 

Immortalica

Active Member
I always smoke with my buddies, and we always say some stupid yet hilarious stuff, but I can never really remember them. But here's a couple.

Me: "Dude! My hands are TINY!!! HOLY SHIT! GAAAAHHHH"
Friend: "DUDE YOUR HANDS ARE FUCKING TINY AHAHAHAHAH"
I actually thought my hands were like microscopic.

Another time me and one of my friends are in the town over, waiting at a bus stop. So were sitting on the curb high as shit, laughing at everything that moves. We see this one stereotypical gangster Jay-Z look alike and we just start making monkey noises.
Me: "Look at this guy. Look at his hat. Hahaha..."
Friend: "Yo it's Monkey Boy"
Together: "Ooh-ooh ah ah!"
We continued to laugh at this guy until he went away, making fun of his flat-brimmed hat, yellow pants, and Obama shirt.

Moments later, this one guy across the street yells over to us so everybody can hear (there's quite a few people in this area)
Guy: "Heeeeey! I know you guys!"
Us: "Uhhhh...."
Guy: "Hey everybody! Look it's Beavis and Butthead! They're laughing at everything! Musta got some good shit!"
We just look at each like WTF then continued laughing like nothing happened.
 

RzLrd

Active Member
*trying to stand up after sitting*
"Dude, there's so much gravity"

*Jumping in a parking lot*
"It's like I know I can fly, but they won't let me"

This isn't so much a quote as it is something funny that happened. We'd just finished smoking, and were coming up the hill from the valley we were in, and there's one of those little like 4 foot metal gates to keep cars out. And i hop it, and i turn around just i time to see my friend try and hop it, but catch his foot on it as he jumps, and fall face first into the dirt. After a minute of laughing, he gets up on his knees, and raises his hands to the sky (covered in dirt) and screams "Looook at meeee!" in a rather pathetic whimpering voice.
 
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