There was a young man from Peru,
who fell asleep in his canoe,
while dreaming of Venus,
he played with his penis,
and woke up covered in goo.
In the garden of Eden sat Adam,
Massaging the bust of his madam,
He chuckled with mirth,
For he knew that on earth,
There were only two boobs and he had 'em.
There once was a fellow McSweeny
Who spilled some gin on his weenie
Just to be couth
He added vermouth
Then slipped his girlfriend a martini
There once was a man Robin Hood
Who lived in a Knottingham wood
He learned how to f**k
from old Friar Tuck
And made Marion whenever he could
There once was a fellow O'Doole
Who found little red spots on his tool
His Doctor a cynic
said Get out of me clinic,
And wipe off that lipstick you fool!
A pirate, history relates
Was scuffling with some of his mates
When he slipped on a cutlass
Which rendered him nutless
And practically useless on dates
A right twisted wench from Caprees-ed
Orgasmed each time that she sneez-ed
To the druggist she went
And laid down her last cent
Said, "A barrel of snuff, if you pleas-ed."
On the moors Kelly walked in a daze
There she'd bark at the moon and the haze
Still her friends weren't concerned
For by now they had learned
Once a month she would go through this phase.
