and i was on meds for bipolar for years.. and my personal opinion is that meds don't always help.. sometimes they make things worse.. I used to get so pissed when it was time for my meds.. and hours leading up to it.. so when I hear all the talk about meds and shit, the first thing that comes to mind is shut tha fuck up followed by bullshit... followed directly by shut tha fuck up.... no offense to anybody... but I don't believe in medicine...
One tiny pill mixed with a combination of other tiny pills and larger pills isn't going to solve your problem... These differences have been around since the begging of man kind.. aslong as there's been two people there's always been two different chemical imbalances.. and you learn to deal with it.. you grow up, put your big boy underwear on and get over it... If you feel like you're detached it's because thats how you choose to feel... if you feel depressed.. it's because you choose to let it get you down...
Sometimes you just have to man up and say "though I feel this way, I wont allow myself to continue feeling this way"...
Do you think Napoleon felt like getting up and conquering kingdoms everyday? Do you think Alexander the great always felt great? Or was always feeling attached to those around him, or his emotions?Probably not.. but the difference between them and you, is they wouldn't allow it to keep them down...
Every person in this world has some level of "mental health problems" but yet a greater percentage gets over it and lives a normal life... not because there's ins't as severe as others.. but because they don't let it bring them down...
There's some exceptions... you know.. people that are skitzo and can't tell reality from fiction... who hear voices besides the one we all hear (whic I am starting to wonder is the same voice they just aren't ontop of their shit enough to realize the voice in your head telling you to kill 35 people for the Lord is actually their own) and the mentally retarded.. but the rest are literally all just in your head.. if you can change your line of thinking, you can over come your disability
And before you all start crawling my ass, remember.. I am diagnosed bipolar with severe depression... and they tried to diagnose me with some kinda (I know this is wrong but) inner (this is the part I know is wrong but it's how the word sounded to me) Mitten explosive disorder... and for years I thought.. that I would be this way forever.. so I tried to learn how to cope with it and ended up just waiting to die...
but then one day.. I was at the lowest I had ever been... I lost all my friends.. even the one I made the post about wasn't talking to me... I was walkin around with a cloud of my own funk engulfing me and keeping everyone at a distance... I didn't wanna be bothered and I sure as fuck didn't wanna be your friend... and I woke up one morning... and thought.. ya know... why am I allowing myself to feel this way? Why am I allowing myself to smell this way.. why am I allowing myself to be this way? This is YOUR life.. nobody else's... god gave it to you.. but it's not even his life to live... I've been places most people will never go.. I've seen things both bad and good, that most people will never see... I've set out and accomplished things that I always dreamed about... Yeah.. sometimes life has gotten the better of me... and i've lost everything I owned.. literally except the clothes on my back, the truck that I was driving and the computer I'm typing on... in reality.. I have lost things that some people may never have the chance to own, much less lose.. and I've been in situations that, I probably shouldn't have walked out of.. oblivious to the real dangers.. that more aware and better prepared people haven't... and like Frank, I did it my way... on my dollar.. with my resolve and my determination... and thats when I decided I wouldn't allow myself to be down about anything again..
I still get depressed.. but I turn on some music, turn it "up to 11" and remind myself of the good times, the bad times.. and the fact that i'm still here.. whole... and some people weren't so lucky... Some people, like my boy Chris... got to live through it... but didn't come out as whole as they went into it... I'm not the same person i used to be, like him.. but fortunately for me.. I came out a better person...
So who am I to sit around and fuckin cry because i'm alone? Hell.. some people have someone and can't hold them.. or like my brother.. had it.. and lost all of it quicker than he had it.. but he's happy.. he's got major brain damage and was in a coma for three months.. but he's happy... and it took that big of a change in his life, for him to get that way.. so who am I to sit around and waste the oppurtunity afforded to me, to enjoy this life while I can.. and while I can know better..
I know some of this got off topic alittle.. and i'm sorry for the long ass rant, spelling and grammatical errors.. i'm sorry if I offended anybody in the process.. but take it from someone who knows from first hand experiance... the only thing in this world that can make you a better person and change who you are.. is you.. you or one bad decisions and 15 seconds... sometimes it doesn't even take that much.. so be glad you have that opportunity to change.. and do it while you can... because if you don't.. god.. fate.. karma... whatever you wanna call it.. may make that change for you
sorry it took me so long to reply to this, my computer got a virus and i had to take it to get fixed. 