Depraved Sex Acts Dictionary (Abriged)

THE MOOSE- The sign given to a friend in hiding while in doggie style behind some person. It is performed by placing both hands over the head, with palms facing out and waving wildly. Can be supplemented by shouting, “Hey Rocky”. (also known as THE BULLWINKLE)

MORNING MIST- Take a shower don’t wipe off your back and let the water role down your crack then fart in your partners face.

PEARL NECKLACE - Well known. Whenever you cum on the neck/cleavage area of a person, it takes on the look of beautiful jewelry.

THE PIT STOP- You’ve spent all night boozing and courting a local slob. Now it’s time to go back to their place. Wrap up the chit chat by jamming junior down their throat. When their lips are wrapped good and tight around your meat whistle, let loose with that piss that’s been building for hours. Their look of horror would normally be enough reward, but as they evacuate, their coughing and your continual stream will mark all of your territory, leaving you with even greater satisfaction. You won’t be able to stop; so if they chases you, make sure the pursuit leads you to every corner of their abode. They'll appreciate your lawn sprinkler imitation.

READING THE DEFENSE- The concept of a guy making a split second decision when in a situation to score with some person when out without his partner. “Reading the Defense” refers to making all of the proper “game time adjustments as to not get caught cheating later on a some point. Having BEER GOGGLES on makes it very hard to read the defense..

THE REAR ADMIRAL- An absolute blast; done while getting a person from behind (with both partners standing). Be sure you don’t let them grab onto anything when they are bent over. Then, drive your hips into their backside so that the momentum pushes their forward. The goal is to push them into a wall or table, or have them trip and fall on their face. You attain the status of Admiral when you can push them around the room without crashing into anything and not using your hands to grab onto their hips.

THE SASQUATCH- as of yet unknown in the Northern hemisphere.

Shrimpin' :
When you fuck your boyfriend in the ass, when you cum in his ass you suck it out and spit it his mouth.

Sentence: "something something finshaggy"

THE SOUTHERN TRESPASS

Most frequently occurs when an over zealous (drunk) man is involved in intercourse with his lady friend. Through lack of concentration, lack of coordination, or simply because he wants to do it, the man quickly switches from the woman's vagina to the corn hole, without missing a beat. If executed properly, this act catches the female by complete surprise, stunning her like a cattle prod to the ass in a rainstorm. No matter how long the man reaps the benefits of his efforts, he can now be content with the fact that he has committed the coveted Southern Trespas

Ewww Poopdick

goucho - when the woman blows a fart into your mouth while you are licking her bunghole.
beethoven - when you give a guy a bj on the bed and you bounce the bed under him
also Dia originals*

Well my bucket list just got bigger..

Gorilla mask. This method works best for breaking up with a cheating girl friend. Shave your pubes and possible a friends. Store in a bag next to the bed. Fuck the shit out of her bust on her face. Smear it, then quickly throw the pubes on her face then take pictures as quickly as possible. Then yell gorilla mask on your way out. Then procede to upload the pics to facebook

ODanksta said:

Gorilla mask. This method works best for breaking up with a cheating girl friend. Shave your pubes and possible a friends. Store in a bag next to the bed. Fuck the shit out of her bust on her face. Smear it, then quickly throw the pubes on her face then take pictures as quickly as possible. Then yell gorilla mask on your way out. Then procede to upload the pics to facebook

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youyou

ODanksta said:

Gorilla mask. This method works best for breaking up with a cheating girl friend. Shave your pubes and possible a friends. Store in a bag next to the bed. Fuck the shit out of her bust on her face. Smear it, then quickly throw the pubes on her face then take pictures as quickly as possible. Then yell gorilla mask on your way out. Then procede to upload the pics to facebook

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LOL The part about yelling "gorilla mask!" on your way out was the topper

The gorilla mask is also known as the Abraham Lincoln

The jolly pirate. When you shoot it in her eye then kick her in the shin

@bushleaguer could probably enjoy this thread. Oh, wait. He's been through here.

Cosby Sweater
Eat a colorful cereal (Fruit Loops and Fruity Pebbles are recommended) and vomit the "tacky and dazzling" mixture onto your partner's chest. The end result should resemble the kitschy sweaters Cosby wore during the height of his fame.

Lion King
While having sex, pull out just prior to climax and bust into your own hand. Then, have your lady face you and use your thumb to smear some sperm on her forehead, declaring her "Simba."

.Pinworm. said:

@bushleaguer could probably enjoy this thread. Oh, wait. He's been through here.

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Lol I was just noticing how I liked my way through this thread of facts.