Crazy Sex Stories. No Fake Stories Please.
- Thread starter 323cheezy
- Start date
puffpuffPASSEDOUT
Well-Known Member
Closest i ever came to public sex was banging a girl on the hood of my mustang at 3am. I was in the back parking lot of a VFW. haha Memoriesss
Mr. Bitti
Well-Known Member
heres some funny shit... back when i was a kid in high school i was out with my gf one night drinking and went back to her parents. she was really horny but she was on the rag and wouldn't let me touch her pussy so after she sucked me off for a bit i convinced her to put it in her ass. we were pretty drunk and couldnt fit it in her ass. well i kept trying for a while going from ass to mouth trying to get it lubed up...anyway we both ended up passing out at her parents family room. carpet i had my jeans by my ankles and she was wearing a skirt up by her tities when her mom woke her up in the morning hahahaha i was upset to embarass her with her parents but at the same time i was laughin inside for a while it was pretty crazy i thought... i could say something nastier or more about sex i just thought this one would be fun!
Stoney McFried
Well-Known Member
From ass to mouth, huh.Thanks for the lovely images.
Stoney McFried
Well-Known Member
And hey...this isn't a sex story, but sound advice for any guys threatened by their woman's use of toys.From the stranger's savage love column.
Buzz Kill
January 22, 2009
By Dan Savage
I love the wife I married two years ago, but she absolutely can't come unless she uses a vibrator on herself. She's asked me to let her use it during sex or for me to use it on her, but I've refused. It's bad enough knowing I can't compete with that thing without having to look at it.
Let's Insert My Prick
Yeah, yeah, LIMP, you can't compete. Like a lot of other men, you've fallen in love with a woman who needs intense, focused stimulation in order to come, the kind of sensation that hands, fingers, tongues, and cocks just can't providea woman who requires a vibrator. Now let's take a little time to grieve, shall we?
Time's up.
Now stop being such a douchebag about this, LIMP, and go ask the wife to show you just how to hold the vibrator and just where to apply pressure so that youYOU!can start giving her orgasms during sex. See the vibrator as a tool, moron, not a threat. If you love your wife and want her to stay married to you, LIMP, get on the proverbial stick. Because if being with you means going without orgasms during sex for the rest of her lifeall because she was foolish enough to marry an insecure bag of slop who refuses to do what needs to be done to get her offthen your wife just might decide to be with someone else.
And now an important message for all straight guys everywhere: Some women need vibrators to get off. Why? Well, perhaps it has something to do with the fact that most of a woman's clitoral tissues are inside her body; the exposed part of her clitoris is just the tip, comparable to the head of your penis. Now imagine if the shaft of your penis were buried inside your body, guys. You might need the help of a vibrator to get off then, too; you might need a tool that could stimulate your shaft through layers of skin and muscle and fat. We've been over and over this since the early 1990s, fellas, and there's no excuse anymore for freaking out about your wife/girlfriend/mom needing a vibrator, okay?
But any ladies feeling smug about guys feeling insecure about your sex toys might want to check out RealTouch, a new sex toy for men. A self-lubricating, self-heating sex toy with gears and belts and bells and whistles, the RealTouch simulatessomehow or otherthe sensations of twats, asses, and mouths, according to its manufacturers. It can be plugged into a computer and synced up with porn clips so that it speeds up, slows down, grips, whatever, in time with the speeding up, slowing down, gripping, and whatever that you're watching on the screen.
While I doubt a RealTouch is going to "make all of your fantasies come true" (unless you've always fantasized about getting your dick caught in a coked-up Dust Buster), it looks like we're one step closer to those sexbots we've heard so much about. We're certainly closer to sex toys for men that women are going to feel like they have a hard time competing with. (I know, ladies, yes. But the internet isn't technically a sex toy.)
Now, I haven't placed my cock in a RealTouch, so I'm not vouching for it. I'm also not remotely interested in trying out a first- generation RealTouch, because I don't want the thing going all Westworld on me with my cock jammed inside it. (Readers under the age of 35 might want to ask someone over 35 to explain the Westworld reference.) So please don't send me one, manufacturers. But anyone out there who has tried one and lived to tell the tale, I'd like to hear from you at [email protected].
Buzz Kill
January 22, 2009
By Dan Savage
I love the wife I married two years ago, but she absolutely can't come unless she uses a vibrator on herself. She's asked me to let her use it during sex or for me to use it on her, but I've refused. It's bad enough knowing I can't compete with that thing without having to look at it.
Let's Insert My Prick
Yeah, yeah, LIMP, you can't compete. Like a lot of other men, you've fallen in love with a woman who needs intense, focused stimulation in order to come, the kind of sensation that hands, fingers, tongues, and cocks just can't providea woman who requires a vibrator. Now let's take a little time to grieve, shall we?
Time's up.
Now stop being such a douchebag about this, LIMP, and go ask the wife to show you just how to hold the vibrator and just where to apply pressure so that youYOU!can start giving her orgasms during sex. See the vibrator as a tool, moron, not a threat. If you love your wife and want her to stay married to you, LIMP, get on the proverbial stick. Because if being with you means going without orgasms during sex for the rest of her lifeall because she was foolish enough to marry an insecure bag of slop who refuses to do what needs to be done to get her offthen your wife just might decide to be with someone else.
And now an important message for all straight guys everywhere: Some women need vibrators to get off. Why? Well, perhaps it has something to do with the fact that most of a woman's clitoral tissues are inside her body; the exposed part of her clitoris is just the tip, comparable to the head of your penis. Now imagine if the shaft of your penis were buried inside your body, guys. You might need the help of a vibrator to get off then, too; you might need a tool that could stimulate your shaft through layers of skin and muscle and fat. We've been over and over this since the early 1990s, fellas, and there's no excuse anymore for freaking out about your wife/girlfriend/mom needing a vibrator, okay?
But any ladies feeling smug about guys feeling insecure about your sex toys might want to check out RealTouch, a new sex toy for men. A self-lubricating, self-heating sex toy with gears and belts and bells and whistles, the RealTouch simulatessomehow or otherthe sensations of twats, asses, and mouths, according to its manufacturers. It can be plugged into a computer and synced up with porn clips so that it speeds up, slows down, grips, whatever, in time with the speeding up, slowing down, gripping, and whatever that you're watching on the screen.
While I doubt a RealTouch is going to "make all of your fantasies come true" (unless you've always fantasized about getting your dick caught in a coked-up Dust Buster), it looks like we're one step closer to those sexbots we've heard so much about. We're certainly closer to sex toys for men that women are going to feel like they have a hard time competing with. (I know, ladies, yes. But the internet isn't technically a sex toy.)
Now, I haven't placed my cock in a RealTouch, so I'm not vouching for it. I'm also not remotely interested in trying out a first- generation RealTouch, because I don't want the thing going all Westworld on me with my cock jammed inside it. (Readers under the age of 35 might want to ask someone over 35 to explain the Westworld reference.) So please don't send me one, manufacturers. But anyone out there who has tried one and lived to tell the tale, I'd like to hear from you at [email protected].
tipsgnob
New Member
why would a guy be threatened by the use of toys....hell I recommend it....
Stoney McFried
Well-Known Member
Some guys are because they think it means they're inadequate.
CanadianCoyote
Well-Known Member
I chained a girl to the bed in her dorm after a night of wildness and then went to her classes in her absence. Took notes for her and everything...
Ah, good times...
Ah, good times...
Stoney McFried
Well-Known Member
If it were me, there'd have been a Great Fall.
i had sex with a chick at the top of this thing.
it's a piece of a street that is falling into the ocean.
great view.
great sex.
tipsgnob
New Member
http://www.youtube.com/[youtube]_BAZgG9FMvg[/youtube]
ALX420
Well-Known Member
excellent.
same girl gave it up in a few parks around town.
handcuffed to her grandmothers sofa, lots of ways.
it was the best of times...
323cheezy
Well-Known Member
Well i got a new one but it sucked..... but it was fuckin carazey 4sure.....
So my friend met this hot chick on craigslist.....So i figured since my friend could get ass on cl.... i should check it out.....
So after hours of replies from fake webcam chicks and prostitutes.... i finally found a legit hotttie.... i send her my picture and she wanted me too come ova.... mind you her add said "need three guys to bang today.....
So anyhow.... she confessed to me that she had this frat guys dorm to herself.... right by santa monica beach and if i could come over and "jizz on her head".... Yah it sounds nasty .... but i was fascinated at the thought.... so i end up getting there..... and i call her and she s..... oh just go in and the frat guy will be there.... So i get there and theres like three other guys there siting on the couch.... and a guy whos hosting the whole shabang.....so were sittin around and the host guy is giving us drink and food.... and then she shows...... now im gettin nervous thinking about all these other guy....and its kind of wierd cause i never banged a chick while others guy were banging the same girl.... so now im just getting all these paranoid thought. So homegirls pretty attractive and start gettin touchy feely wit one guy and starts takin off her clothes....
This is wherre it gets really wierd..... shes still in her bootyshorts but no brawl .... and starts tellin us she has this fantassi..... To punk a guy..... what ???? punk a guy i think whats that????.... she then explains that it turns her on too see a guy get cummed on (punked) and then she licks it off ..... wth! im thinking theres no way i can do that .... so long story short..... me and another guy are like im outta here.... but then she starts blowing one willing guy and wacking off the other....
and she say please dont leve just stay ...maybe youl change your mind.... So now im thinkin the dorm guy is gay.... which i should have know.... so me and the other dude go to the other end of the room and watch.....
So this is where it gets horrible...
The girl starts tellin the dorm guy to help her blow these guys.... i dont know why im still there .....
So now the gay dudes blowing the guys while shes fingerbanginherself.... and shes telling the confussed looking guy that its okay she gonna bang whoever punks htis guy......
Bye this time im gone..... i couldn take it so i left before they nutted on the dorm guy.....
So i email her the next day ...and she say "oh you missed out" apparently they nutted on that guys head right after i left .... and she liked the whole thing up ...and banged both the remaining guy.....
that probly the craziest shit ive ever seen.... im done wit cl.....
So my friend met this hot chick on craigslist.....So i figured since my friend could get ass on cl.... i should check it out.....
So after hours of replies from fake webcam chicks and prostitutes.... i finally found a legit hotttie.... i send her my picture and she wanted me too come ova.... mind you her add said "need three guys to bang today.....
So anyhow.... she confessed to me that she had this frat guys dorm to herself.... right by santa monica beach and if i could come over and "jizz on her head".... Yah it sounds nasty .... but i was fascinated at the thought.... so i end up getting there..... and i call her and she s..... oh just go in and the frat guy will be there.... So i get there and theres like three other guys there siting on the couch.... and a guy whos hosting the whole shabang.....so were sittin around and the host guy is giving us drink and food.... and then she shows...... now im gettin nervous thinking about all these other guy....and its kind of wierd cause i never banged a chick while others guy were banging the same girl.... so now im just getting all these paranoid thought. So homegirls pretty attractive and start gettin touchy feely wit one guy and starts takin off her clothes....
This is wherre it gets really wierd..... shes still in her bootyshorts but no brawl .... and starts tellin us she has this fantassi..... To punk a guy..... what ???? punk a guy i think whats that????.... she then explains that it turns her on too see a guy get cummed on (punked) and then she licks it off ..... wth! im thinking theres no way i can do that .... so long story short..... me and another guy are like im outta here.... but then she starts blowing one willing guy and wacking off the other....
and she say please dont leve just stay ...maybe youl change your mind.... So now im thinkin the dorm guy is gay.... which i should have know.... so me and the other dude go to the other end of the room and watch.....
So this is where it gets horrible...
The girl starts tellin the dorm guy to help her blow these guys.... i dont know why im still there .....
So now the gay dudes blowing the guys while shes fingerbanginherself.... and shes telling the confussed looking guy that its okay she gonna bang whoever punks htis guy......
Bye this time im gone..... i couldn take it so i left before they nutted on the dorm guy.....
So i email her the next day ...and she say "oh you missed out" apparently they nutted on that guys head right after i left .... and she liked the whole thing up ...and banged both the remaining guy.....
that probly the craziest shit ive ever seen.... im done wit cl.....
323cheezy
Well-Known Member
yeah man .... i was duped.....lol
Louis541
Well-Known Member
It could of been worse. I just found this on craigslist.
If you don�t know what a Realdoll is, either look it up or you should probably just move on. For those that are aware, I�ll give you the stats on my girl: Gabrielle has a Face 16, Body 5, she is about 4�10�, lighter skin tone, black hair, trimmed pubic hair, and 32 E breasts. She is a hottie in every sense of the word.
If you are serious about this, we would like to hear from you. You must be respectful of both Gabrielle and myself. Neither of us have ever had a threesome before, so this will be new to both of us. Also, she isn�t the most cooperative girl as far as positioning goes � although she is tiny, she is quite heavy. Perhaps with another guy present, it would open up additional possibilities. I�m not as picky as she is, so it would probably help your chances if you addressed your messages to her She would love to hear your basic info and any thoughts/ideas for our threesome. She has several outfits she could wear for us.
If you don�t know what a Realdoll is, either look it up or you should probably just move on. For those that are aware, I�ll give you the stats on my girl: Gabrielle has a Face 16, Body 5, she is about 4�10�, lighter skin tone, black hair, trimmed pubic hair, and 32 E breasts. She is a hottie in every sense of the word.
If you are serious about this, we would like to hear from you. You must be respectful of both Gabrielle and myself. Neither of us have ever had a threesome before, so this will be new to both of us. Also, she isn�t the most cooperative girl as far as positioning goes � although she is tiny, she is quite heavy. Perhaps with another guy present, it would open up additional possibilities. I�m not as picky as she is, so it would probably help your chances if you addressed your messages to her She would love to hear your basic info and any thoughts/ideas for our threesome. She has several outfits she could wear for us.
P
PadawanBater
Guest
...so if I'm reading that right, a dude posted that in the hopes of luring another guy into a 3some with him and his fuck doll because it's too heavy to lift himself and get it into the fuck positions he wants?
lmfao!
MediMaryUser
Well-Known Member
ahahhahhahahahhahahahahahahahhahahahhaahahahah dude ahahha ahahhahahahah craigslist is funny i saw a 6 foot weed plant for sale in a 10 gallon pot for 500$
MediMaryUser
Well-Known Member
what the fuck wow lol holy funny shit
323cheezy
Well-Known Member
true shit man....
everychick on cl has some kinda tweek....
That guy i know who met a chick took her out and then the next day .... they did it... but i met her a while back.... and she looked descent... but was a total retard.... reminded me of a chick from jerry springer...