newworldicon
Well-Known Member
Oh please be the first to tell an Amy joke..............
Best Joke to Tell High?
- Thread starter MrDank007
- Start date
H2grOw
Active Member
Cinderella was getting ready to go to the ball when she realized she was starting her period. She had no feminine products on hand, so she summons her fairy godmother. Her fairy godmother tells her she has a magic tampon that she can have. There was one catch though. At midnight it would turn into a pumpkin so she must get home on time. Cinderella accepts an makes it to the ball. Midnight comes and goes with out Cinderella returning home. Worried, the fairy godmother waits up for her. At 2am, Cinderella finally comes home suffering no ill effects. Her godmother asks her why she is home so late and why the tampon didn't turn into a pumpkin. Cinderella explains, "but it did turn into a pumpkin. Luckily I met a nice boy named Peter Peter."
Dominathan
Well-Known Member
The world has now congratulated Amy Winehouse on her longest tolerance break.
kanx
Active Member
A englishman , scot'sman and an irish man are caught in the middle of a jungle, when an tribe capture them.
The tribe leader says to the scot's man "Death!? or bunjee!?"
The scot's man says "bunjee" , so the tribe start screaming "BUNJEE!" and fuk him senseless for 30 mins then let him go.
The tribe leader then says to the english man "Death!? or bunjee!?"
The english man says "B-B-Bunjee"
So again tribe start screaming "BUNJEE!" and fuk him senseless for 45 mins then let him go.
The tribe leader finally turns and says to the Irish man "Death!? or bunjee!?"
The irish man thinks long and hard about it and decide's "death"
The tribe go quiet , the tribe leader looks the irish man dead in the eye's and screams.
"DEATH BY BUNJEE!!!!"
The tribe leader says to the scot's man "Death!? or bunjee!?"
The scot's man says "bunjee" , so the tribe start screaming "BUNJEE!" and fuk him senseless for 30 mins then let him go.
The tribe leader then says to the english man "Death!? or bunjee!?"
The english man says "B-B-Bunjee"
So again tribe start screaming "BUNJEE!" and fuk him senseless for 45 mins then let him go.
The tribe leader finally turns and says to the Irish man "Death!? or bunjee!?"
The irish man thinks long and hard about it and decide's "death"
The tribe go quiet , the tribe leader looks the irish man dead in the eye's and screams.
"DEATH BY BUNJEE!!!!"
kanx
Active Member
lol I know what your on about .
My all-time favourite thing to do say to someone to cause such a fuked up reaction is , if there standing chatting shit in your ear, just clearly and loudly say "WHAT!??? 3 dicks in your mouth!?" then walk away .
growin4dummies
Member
What does a Priest get when he wants some pussy?
Nun.
Nun.
growin4dummies
Member
A drunk walks into a bar, he tells the bartender " Hey gimme 9 shots of your best vodka" the bartender says "Sure no problem". As soon as the drunk gets his shots he starts drinking them back to back fast. The bartender says "Hey buddy slow down" The drunk says "Well if you had what I had you would be drinking this fast too!!" The bartender says "Well what the hell do you have?" The drunk replies "75 cents."
BBC NEWS: Amy Winehouse dead
Related stories: Hardcore drug use in the UK drops an astonishing 38% overnight
Amy Winehouse's debut album was called 'Frank'...
How ironic, maybe she should have talked to him.
My friend died today, But she died doing what she loved doing.
Smack.
I thought ketamine was only meant to tranquilise horses, not kill the fuckers.
Unemployment in London has just hit a record high after 6,000 drug dealers have just been put out of work.
i know.im a cunt :]
Related stories: Hardcore drug use in the UK drops an astonishing 38% overnight
Amy Winehouse's debut album was called 'Frank'...
How ironic, maybe she should have talked to him.
My friend died today, But she died doing what she loved doing.
Smack.
I thought ketamine was only meant to tranquilise horses, not kill the fuckers.
Unemployment in London has just hit a record high after 6,000 drug dealers have just been put out of work.
i know.im a cunt :]
Hepheastus420
Well-Known Member
Whoo this is my first post here after getting banned from grasscity, so hello everyone. Alright so there's two cannibals eating a clown, after a while they look at each other and say "does this taste funny to you".
Specialboy
Member
A boy and his grandfather who are planning to go for a walk are standing on the porch looking at black clouds gathering, grandfather say's "looks like rain son" boy say's "oh well done granddad tell me something I don't know!" grandfather say's "your nanna's arse can take my whole fist"
Farfenugen
Well-Known Member
spell PIG backwards and add FUNNY to the end of it
(I know, lame but when high it might be great)
(I know, lame but when high it might be great)
I already Node
Active Member
Q: Why did the blonde snort artificial sweetener?
A: She thought it was diet coke.
A: She thought it was diet coke.
I already Node
Active Member
A speedfreak is out walking one fine evening. He finds a poor person on the street and helps him up. The poor person says, "Son, I'm a genie. And since you helped me I'll give you three wishes."
The speedfreak says, "I want a big bag of meth!", the genie says."Okay." POOF, the bag appears! They prepare some thick long white lines and share it between the two of them.
The next morning the genie asks "What's the second wish?", "I want two big bags of meth", says the speedfreak. "Okay," says the genie. POOF! And they prepare it and snort it between the two of them.
The next morning the genie asks "And the third wish?" "I want four big bags of meth!" POOOF!! So, they prepare lots of big lines and share it between the two of them.
Much later the genie gets up and says, "Okay, it's time for me to go." The genie takes a couple of steps, pauses, turns around and says, "Okay, just one more wish."
The speedfreak says, "I want a big bag of meth!", the genie says."Okay." POOF, the bag appears! They prepare some thick long white lines and share it between the two of them.
The next morning the genie asks "What's the second wish?", "I want two big bags of meth", says the speedfreak. "Okay," says the genie. POOF! And they prepare it and snort it between the two of them.
The next morning the genie asks "And the third wish?" "I want four big bags of meth!" POOOF!! So, they prepare lots of big lines and share it between the two of them.
Much later the genie gets up and says, "Okay, it's time for me to go." The genie takes a couple of steps, pauses, turns around and says, "Okay, just one more wish."
BendBrewer
Well-Known Member
A family walks into a talent agency. It's a father, mother, son, daughter and dog. The father says to the talent agent, "We have a really amazing act. You should represent us."
The agent says, "Sorry, I don't represent family acts. They're a little too cute."
The mother says, "Sir, if you just see our act, we know you would want to represent us."
The agent says, "OK. OK. I'll take a look."
At this point the father proclaims, "Assume the position!!!!" and instantly, the mother, who is dressed like Mother Teresa, the daughter who is 8 months pregnant, and the 3 legged dog squat, and simultaneously shit on the floor of the agent's office. The severely disabled son, unable to lift himself out of his wheelchair gurgles something inaudible and shits in his pants, making it to the floor only after running down his pant legs and oozing out through his socks. Father thanks God for his son's 'liquid only' diet. With the Agent's office floor sufficiently covered with canine and human shit, the father announces, "And now, for the Greatest Sex/Scat/Dog Butt-Fucking Show on the Face of the Planet. Let the Show BEGIN!!!!"
Instantly the retarded, shit-stained son falls face first onto the floor landing directly into the pile of fresh Fido shit. The Dog, dodging the falling tard, immediately starts to gnaw at the undrained diarrhea from the boy's pants, ripping his jeans from his body as the Mother and daughter rip off their clothes and begin to dance around the Agent. Meanwhile the father disrobes and proceeds to urinate on the head of the disabled, drowning in Fido shit - son just as the dog laps up the remaining diarrhea from the boy's ass. The dog then looks up at father, who gives the nod, and proceeds to mount the retarded shit-faced son, shoving its hard pink little dog cock in and out of the boy's ass like a jack-hammer while pawing around the boy with his one front leg, in an attempt to give the boy a reach around.
The agent says, "Sorry, I don't represent family acts. They're a little too cute."
The mother says, "Sir, if you just see our act, we know you would want to represent us."
The agent says, "OK. OK. I'll take a look."
At this point the father proclaims, "Assume the position!!!!" and instantly, the mother, who is dressed like Mother Teresa, the daughter who is 8 months pregnant, and the 3 legged dog squat, and simultaneously shit on the floor of the agent's office. The severely disabled son, unable to lift himself out of his wheelchair gurgles something inaudible and shits in his pants, making it to the floor only after running down his pant legs and oozing out through his socks. Father thanks God for his son's 'liquid only' diet. With the Agent's office floor sufficiently covered with canine and human shit, the father announces, "And now, for the Greatest Sex/Scat/Dog Butt-Fucking Show on the Face of the Planet. Let the Show BEGIN!!!!"
Instantly the retarded, shit-stained son falls face first onto the floor landing directly into the pile of fresh Fido shit. The Dog, dodging the falling tard, immediately starts to gnaw at the undrained diarrhea from the boy's pants, ripping his jeans from his body as the Mother and daughter rip off their clothes and begin to dance around the Agent. Meanwhile the father disrobes and proceeds to urinate on the head of the disabled, drowning in Fido shit - son just as the dog laps up the remaining diarrhea from the boy's ass. The dog then looks up at father, who gives the nod, and proceeds to mount the retarded shit-faced son, shoving its hard pink little dog cock in and out of the boy's ass like a jack-hammer while pawing around the boy with his one front leg, in an attempt to give the boy a reach around.
BendBrewer
Well-Known Member
The mother and daughter, still dancing nakedly around the agent move their attention to the butt fucking dog. The daughter lifts the dog off of the shit stained tarded brother and continues getting the dog off by rapidly stroking his hard cock, pointing it into her mother's mouth to allow the dog to shoot it's canine love juice down her throat, instantly causing the mother to puke all over her daughter's breasts which the dog immediately licks off of her as Dad grabs the dog from behind and thrusts his herpes laden cock into the ass of the dog causing the dog to howl in pain.
Just then, the dad, notices his son choking to death on the pile of dog shit that he has been laying face down in since the beginning of the performance, pulls his dick out of the dog, and rushes over to the boy, and tries to remove the dog shit from the boys throat. His fingers not long enough to clear the shit clog from his throat; the dad shoves his dog stained cock into the boy's mouth in an attempt to clear the shit blockage.
The dog, seeing a moment of opportunity to pay the father back, jumps on the back of the father who's dick is in his son's mouth in an attempt to clear the dog shit from his throat, driving his dog pecker into the fathers ass, and clininging on for dear life with all 3 legs. Having his father's cock buried in his throat sends the boy into an epileptic seizure, which causes his teeth to clamp down onto his fathers cock.
The father screams in agony as the agent and the daughter come to the father's assistance. The daughter begins to yank her brother off of her fathers now bleeding hard-on as the agents tries to remove the family dog from the father's ass. Both pulling from opposite directions as the father screams as his son's clenched teeth grate the shaft of his cock as the daughter frees the lifeless body of her brother from her dad. The father bends over to give the agent more leverage and the horny, butt-fucking pooch is removed from the father's ass.
The father thanks the agent and proclaims,
"Wait! There's more......"
Just then, the dad, notices his son choking to death on the pile of dog shit that he has been laying face down in since the beginning of the performance, pulls his dick out of the dog, and rushes over to the boy, and tries to remove the dog shit from the boys throat. His fingers not long enough to clear the shit clog from his throat; the dad shoves his dog stained cock into the boy's mouth in an attempt to clear the shit blockage.
The dog, seeing a moment of opportunity to pay the father back, jumps on the back of the father who's dick is in his son's mouth in an attempt to clear the dog shit from his throat, driving his dog pecker into the fathers ass, and clininging on for dear life with all 3 legs. Having his father's cock buried in his throat sends the boy into an epileptic seizure, which causes his teeth to clamp down onto his fathers cock.
The father screams in agony as the agent and the daughter come to the father's assistance. The daughter begins to yank her brother off of her fathers now bleeding hard-on as the agents tries to remove the family dog from the father's ass. Both pulling from opposite directions as the father screams as his son's clenched teeth grate the shaft of his cock as the daughter frees the lifeless body of her brother from her dad. The father bends over to give the agent more leverage and the horny, butt-fucking pooch is removed from the father's ass.
The father thanks the agent and proclaims,
"Wait! There's more......"
BendBrewer
Well-Known Member
The Dad then plunges his bloody cock into his pregnant daughter's gapping pussy. As he buries his cock deep in her, his unborn grandson begins to suck the head of his dick causing the man to explode, launching his hot ropes of cum into his pregnant daughter and down the throat of her unborn fetus.
This causes the baby to throw-up; shooting embryonic-projectile vomit out of his mom to be's swollen pussy. The Mother remarkably catches the hurling barf in her mouth, rushes over to her dead retarded boy and spits the vomit into his mouth like a mother bird feeding her young causing the boy to spring back to life, fully cured of all disabilities. The boy then turns to the obviously stunned talent agent and asks, "Too Cute For you huh? When do we start Mother Fucker?"
For the longest time, the agent just sits in silence. Finally, he manages,
"That's a hell of an act. What do you call it?"
And the father says, "The Aristocrats!"
This causes the baby to throw-up; shooting embryonic-projectile vomit out of his mom to be's swollen pussy. The Mother remarkably catches the hurling barf in her mouth, rushes over to her dead retarded boy and spits the vomit into his mouth like a mother bird feeding her young causing the boy to spring back to life, fully cured of all disabilities. The boy then turns to the obviously stunned talent agent and asks, "Too Cute For you huh? When do we start Mother Fucker?"
For the longest time, the agent just sits in silence. Finally, he manages,
"That's a hell of an act. What do you call it?"
And the father says, "The Aristocrats!"
