Autism and weed

You know what sucks?
For 18 years I've been locked up in my own mind, because I'm autistic. I'm high functioning, although my medical history is over 60 pages long with over 12 different doctors and therapists because they just can't figure out what the fuck is wrong with this kid. So they classified him as an autistic, high functioning.
I didn't really know what the fuck that meant, Aspbergers syndrome? Man that kid has zero common sense. He got his hand stuck in a drain pipe to a sink, he dropkicked himself in the head with the foot of his toe, he somehow managed to fake but not really fake a quarter-coin, yes the metal kind, into his eye. He was trying to fake it, but then actually got it in there. Fuckin.... idiot...

I don't have aspbergers but I have this cool ability to close my eyes and imagine my enitre world. That's why currently, at 19, I do not need any social contact. Simply like every 3 months a visitation with my pothead brother is enough to refill what I call my social coffers. Hahaha, I guess it's sortof fucked up because most people could joke about having "social coffers" like some sort of energy levels, to a battery, but its sort of fucked up because I'm not joking and that's exactly how it is. It's like energy levels to a battery and I literally do not need any social contact, other than like every 3 months. I'm totally repeating myself and it's kind of neat.

Anyways,
back to my venting: Being autistic and unable to tell anyone about it. Until the point I first tried marijuana I had been like this kid-adult. This kid-adult whom when there is any social contact, at all, this includes random people beeping the doorbell, any social contact at all resulted in diverted eye contact and simply blushes. The only way I could converse with anyone was through text, that meant through online internet chat, in video games and on my phone. Did I mention I was given a phone when I turned 13, didn't have any contacts on it until I was 17. This is just pathetic. What the fuck. This is autism, this is pathetic.

Before I ever tried marijuana when soemone touched me I would shiver and repulse because it felt like someone was rubbing me with sandpaper, it felt twice as strong, three times, ten times as strong based on how gentle it was. If I was tickled, it felt like knives.

Before I ever tried marijuana, when there were bright lights. Those of fluorescents, the morning sun shining through thin clouds, that twilight sort of light hurt so much. It was like radiating orbs in my vision, it took up all of my attention and interrupted my education during classes... Ooooh bright lights.... Let me wear my hat; Let me wear my glasses; Stop staring, you don't have headaches due to pain in your eyes.

Before I ever tried marijuana I hadn't ever a real friend, like an actual one that is in real life... This is autism in its real fact: For my entire life, from birth, toddlerhood, childhood, preteenhood, teenagehood, and adulthood I did not have ANY friendships.. I can't ever remember having anybody over to my house ever on a personal level, unless it was set up by someone. Unless someone specifically set up social contact, I never seeked it out. This is autism.

This is what I have had to live with, but I didn't mind either.

Ever since I've tried weed... I've been reversed. Gentle touch is pleasureable, acutally have the time I can't feel anything cause of the budddd. Hahahaha. I guess that sort of is the root of it all though, it doesn't reverse the disorderly effects of autism it simply makes us stoned like everyone else.
I can converse on marijuana, cause I'm highhh baby. I can talk without embarrassment, cause I'm hiiiighhh. I can sing without embarrassment, cause I'm highhh babyy. Yeah yeah yeah, marijuana it makes us all high, babyyy.

So if I'm basically retarded when I'm not high, shouldn't I be federally excempt from marijuana laws considering without marijuana in my body I am nobody but an autistic.

TOOOOOOO Long

The Son of Man said:

TOOOOOOO Long

Click to expand...

Theres a saying we video gamers used to use: TLDR means Too-long, didnt-read.

Like.. brb, afk.
when someone makes a riduclously and usually pointlessly long post people simply say TLDR

I read that TSWM

yeah toke up, do you smoke all the time now?

Weed cures autism too? Weed, is there anything you cant do?

I knew an idiosavant (sp) in middle school. He knew everything, EVERYTHING, about reptiles. He was pretty strange though.

have ya'll seen the math, piano, date in time, visual etc savants? I mean that is crazy. One dude can do pi out further than a calculator without pen and paper

its not gamers, its techies, TLDR or wall of text. pictures might help break it up

I've been thinking about buying one of those video camera helmets and truly showing the world just how utterly repetitive and dull an autistic's life is... No social contact.. I find if I watch something about 30 times over while high it becomes almost ritualistic that I get high while watching the movie, to the point of not remembering when I first watched the movie, that way I can't actually remember what I did in a given time. That eases up the sad feelings when I get depressed due to lack of social contact, because of high functioning autism. I'm still trying to figure out how to socialize but I've figured out as long as I remember not to agree with everyone's opinions, take everyone's sides, and more voice my own thoughts and opinions, which is extremely new and subsequently extremely difficult, I can fit in with little notice other than unusual exucisons when my sensory receptors which pick up receptors of sound, taste, feeling, and sight overload due to autism.

When I was in middle school. I had one friend. His name was Ben Wolfson. He was a mexicon, and he sweat a lot through his hands. This was when I couldn't look at people. The rest of school had a nickname for me: The ghost, because I could slip in and out of classrooms like a ghost simply because I was so quiet, like a ghost. I didn't talk a whole lot of time, but I did get in trouble a lot. I had a semi-friend who I didn't really consider a friend. His name was Jon. He was a redneck. I'm telling you all of this because it's not good to group up all of these weird people at once, especially under a catholic house... That's just fucked up.
I'm telling you this because once I had a sensory overload. It was the most major one I had ever had. This was back when I couldn't look into people's eyes, when fluoerescents caused me migraine-like headaches. My parents had my head xrayed like 5 times over the course of 6 years simply because of my headaches. It was an unknown cause, but I was popping advil all the time. At one point I was on lexapro. That helped a lot with my socialability, a lot. I learned a new perspective: be the center of attention. But because the pill changed me psycoactively, what happens when the only two sides of mentality you know it being autistic and being on lexapro: the center of attention; when that attention doesn't come, what happens then? Sensory overload: A major one.

"Fuck you. Fine expell me. Fine, fuck you." Trashcan throw, Chair throw. Pick up a computer monitor. I can barely see, it's like a tunnel vision. Everywhere I look I can feel myself forcing myself to never blink, for I know if I blink I will cry. Infront of all these people? Crying. I won't. The voice, it's so loud. The varrier, the autistic barrier that surrounds me, it's so dark. It's so angry and it constricts me. As I try I break through it, I cannot realize this barrier isn't in my mind but truly it is in real life... It's of my senses that I cannot process anymore. I am in completely sensory overload. Every sound, every voice, all in tune with my breaht, my heart beat, and I need to get away from all of it. I need to be submerged in silence. I need to be alone. Leave me be.

An autistically aware physical therapist noticed my sensory overload. I fell down to my knees and just went silent. She invited me into the room and I sat onto this huge bouncy ball. Then I stared at one point and for the next two hours thats the point that I looked at. I kept thinking I should blink my eyes. I just kept thinking this. It was like I was half-asleep, between subconsciousness and consciousness. My mind was awander. It kept thinking; thinking that I should blink my eyes... then I remembered how I had acted... blink my eyes... I kept flashing back to the point of when I had thrown a chair, had thrown anything around me...blink my eyes... to the point of when I sensory overloaded and I promised I would never be like that again. I would never lose control again. That feeling, that overwhelming uncontrol I know how it feels now and I will never feel that again. Ever.

Since then I have reconized self awareness. This is pathetic. These are feelings that you people naturally pick up and developt, but the reality is that autistics, me included, don't pick up these things... That's why people call us retarded. That's why we don't fit in. That's why we can't socialize. That's why I can't function in real life, not without marijuana. Because I'm autistic and that is differen't from non-autistic people. It's not a disorder, as temple grandin said, it is an innate part of us. We are autistics, we are not people with autism; we are not like "people with cancer", as if it's cureable. I wasn't even aware that I could of changed how I was. I didn't even care, until I tried marijuana. Now I can function. Now I think about college. Now I can fucking think. God fucking damnit, I can think! All because of marijuana, god fucking damnit. I could go out and buy 50000 pounds of weed but I can't because I'm fucking autistic god damn fuck damnit.

thats cool man... smoke up!

have you told the docs about weed?

Tldr! Tldr! Tldr!

I just water cured some haze buds... little babies... but I definently recommend water curing. Whatever if you do though DO NOT put the buds in a jar of water and simply like turn it over onto its head... Air bubbles WILL collect and fuck your buds.

Water curing. Everytime I changed the water, I smelt the buds and they smelt SOOOOOO GOOD. Man let me get some pictures. The hairs that normally turn brown have turned a bright red color, it looks fuckin awesome. I didn't do it fully for the 7 days cause, honestly, patience ain't my virtue, but after the 4 days I did it I can tell the trichomes are beginning to shine like little silver dots all over the now pale, almost opique-green leaves

I'll stick with the jar burps

Now more than ever, in the past 50 years autism has begun to inflict more and more individuals. 50 years ago most autistics were put in mental hospitals simply because you thought they were nuts!
Theres what we call we autistic spectrum. On one end of the spectrum there is apsberger's syndrome, a lesser form of autism which most individuals have an extreme mathematical ability. The sort like able to do calculus, 16 digit calculations in their head within a minute, sort of deal. Then there is the other side of the spectrum where autistics are basically retarded, IQs of 50 and at the very end are idiot savants. Now high-functioning autism is somewhere inbetween that, obviously on the more smarter side if we can type and talk and begin to even comphrehend socialization, but some of us also retain special mental abilities similiar that of idiot savants, who all of amazing, usually unbelievable mental talents that currently we as an advanced civilization cannot understand.

Since we autistics can't usually hold friendships, let alone jobs that's a large income loss over the course of our lives. There's statistics on the net saying that all the autistics in the US are averaging like in the billions, like 6 billion dollars a year or something in income loss simply because of our autism, which I have proven marijuana at least helps with, if not completely negates it.
That's a big deal, considering the ratio of autism to non. 1 to 100. If people knew how prevelent marijuana was in the treamtent of a presumeably untreatable, uncurable neurological brain disorder it may change their thoughts on the overal consumption and perhaps decriminalization of marijuana considering most of autism starts before the age of 2 years old. This is their babies we're talking about.