Permafucked
Member
About 3 months ago I smoked pot for the first time. I'm 19 and figured what the hell. I smoked with my sisters bf and that's the most regretable day of my life. Let me start from the beginning.
We went outside at about 1am. He lite it up Nd smoked it a bit then handed itoff to me. I inhaled it, it was smooth compared to he cigarettes I was uSed to. I inhaled a TON of smoke and held it. Exhaled. It tasted good. Took about 3 more HuGE hits. Then we went inside. We started wat hing George Lopez, it was dumb but I was laughing. About 3 minutes passed then I started feeling weird so I went to my room. By this time I was already fucked.
I felt my body stand up and walk, open my bedroom door then lay down. But my vision was stillin the living room. And shortly followed my body. I was lYing on my stomach with my hand on my hest. I felt my heart start beating really hard and fast. Then time slowed and everything got worse.
I went back to the living room, same probably with feeling things then seein them Bout 2 seconds lateer. I tried to say "Im really fucked up" but sad "immmmm reeeee fuuuuu uhhhhhhhh" and then things got even worse. I got stuck in vision loops, best way I can describe them is like 5 seconds periods of time that repeated over and over until I did something to stop them. Like jumping up, yelling, clinching my fist. Things like that.
My sister bf started freaking out, and went Nd got me some water, which I couldn't den holdand spilt all over my lap. I kept screaming to get out of these loops. Eventually my parents came in the room. My vision was still delayed. But I can remeber everythifng that was said.
Evetually I blacked out and had some crazy visions. First I saw my brain. And a thiusands pictures behind it. Then it flashed to a book, a huge book, and the pages turned extremely fast, then it slammed close
I'm not religious but at this time I thought, I've died... I'm in hell, and I'm just going to keep repeating my death over and over for eternaity. At this point I had the "broken" heart feeling. For my family to just watch me die. Then for myself to have to watch them watch me die for eternity. I zhouted, "Im dead and I'm in hell and it's horrible" my mom said "Your not dead, your right here!" She asked me if I wanted her to call 911, I told her it was too late, they'd never make it in time.
After about 30 minutes of being blacked
out but being able to hear and talk, my vision came back, everything had a blue tint and it was so amazing to be able to see again I started crying. Then I was hinking... His is my last moments... Whatever image I gt in my head now will all I'll have to remember for eternity. So I stared desribing everyhig. And cryng more.
The heart break feeling came back. And at this poin I went crazy and started chewng on the couch and throwing fit blindly. My step dad and sisters bf held me down for the rest f the might.
Before o feel asleep I was watching he tv. And in my dream it just kept repeating I didn't even realize I was asleep until I woke up.
Glad everything was over I got up. Only to have a new feeling. Delayed feeling. Almost likei was numb. It went away 3 days later.
I thought everything was gone. Until last month, I was just laying wiu my gf, and had the heart break feelin again. And thought I was realizing I really was dead. She calmed me down and we went to bed. The next koenig I was numb again for about 7 days this time. Ok so it must be gone, right?
No. It happened again 2 weeks later. The numbness didn't come with ome though. Then it happened again tonight, with slight numbness.
Will I eer get over this or do I have some kind o brain damage? I'm scared.
We went outside at about 1am. He lite it up Nd smoked it a bit then handed itoff to me. I inhaled it, it was smooth compared to he cigarettes I was uSed to. I inhaled a TON of smoke and held it. Exhaled. It tasted good. Took about 3 more HuGE hits. Then we went inside. We started wat hing George Lopez, it was dumb but I was laughing. About 3 minutes passed then I started feeling weird so I went to my room. By this time I was already fucked.
I felt my body stand up and walk, open my bedroom door then lay down. But my vision was stillin the living room. And shortly followed my body. I was lYing on my stomach with my hand on my hest. I felt my heart start beating really hard and fast. Then time slowed and everything got worse.
I went back to the living room, same probably with feeling things then seein them Bout 2 seconds lateer. I tried to say "Im really fucked up" but sad "immmmm reeeee fuuuuu uhhhhhhhh" and then things got even worse. I got stuck in vision loops, best way I can describe them is like 5 seconds periods of time that repeated over and over until I did something to stop them. Like jumping up, yelling, clinching my fist. Things like that.
My sister bf started freaking out, and went Nd got me some water, which I couldn't den holdand spilt all over my lap. I kept screaming to get out of these loops. Eventually my parents came in the room. My vision was still delayed. But I can remeber everythifng that was said.
Evetually I blacked out and had some crazy visions. First I saw my brain. And a thiusands pictures behind it. Then it flashed to a book, a huge book, and the pages turned extremely fast, then it slammed close
I'm not religious but at this time I thought, I've died... I'm in hell, and I'm just going to keep repeating my death over and over for eternaity. At this point I had the "broken" heart feeling. For my family to just watch me die. Then for myself to have to watch them watch me die for eternity. I zhouted, "Im dead and I'm in hell and it's horrible" my mom said "Your not dead, your right here!" She asked me if I wanted her to call 911, I told her it was too late, they'd never make it in time.
After about 30 minutes of being blacked
out but being able to hear and talk, my vision came back, everything had a blue tint and it was so amazing to be able to see again I started crying. Then I was hinking... His is my last moments... Whatever image I gt in my head now will all I'll have to remember for eternity. So I stared desribing everyhig. And cryng more.
The heart break feeling came back. And at this poin I went crazy and started chewng on the couch and throwing fit blindly. My step dad and sisters bf held me down for the rest f the might.
Before o feel asleep I was watching he tv. And in my dream it just kept repeating I didn't even realize I was asleep until I woke up.
Glad everything was over I got up. Only to have a new feeling. Delayed feeling. Almost likei was numb. It went away 3 days later.
I thought everything was gone. Until last month, I was just laying wiu my gf, and had the heart break feelin again. And thought I was realizing I really was dead. She calmed me down and we went to bed. The next koenig I was numb again for about 7 days this time. Ok so it must be gone, right?
No. It happened again 2 weeks later. The numbness didn't come with ome though. Then it happened again tonight, with slight numbness.
Will I eer get over this or do I have some kind o brain damage? I'm scared.
