So, you're saying save some fresh yard clippings in the grow room along with a blender. When the raid is going down, grab a Ninja/Vitamix/Blendtec whatever and get to blending on full power. Maybe even dump some clorox in there in case they inspect ur shit, they won't be able to make out what it is.
You pull the plants by there roots and just start to Keester them one after the other ......the moisture from the roots will help them slide into your anal cavity quicker .....you got less than 5 min now .......practice makes perfect ...GL
Your probably fucked. But, if given a chance, id quickly throw my plants over the fence and into a neighbors yard. They would still need proof that they are actully yours if they did find them. I just grow for myself though so it would only be one trip.