Worst Night Of My Life.

i just had the worst night ever. im just wondering if anyone has any advice for me...or any feedback. well...heres the story...its gonna be a long one...

i have (well...had) a friend that i've known and been friends with since the 9th grade. she was family to me. her boys call me auntie sarah. well i really needed a fun night out so last night her and i and 2 of her friends went to one of the bars here. the night was a total blast...honestly it was one of the most fun nights i have ever had...until the end of the night. theres these guys that they met at this bar 2 weeks ago, and they were there that night too hangin out with us...well at the end of the night the guys invited us back to a hotel room they were staying at to have some drinks. now...i know what you're all thinking, its my own fault i should have known what the hotel room would mean...but this is not the first time we have partied in a hotel room with guys...and its not the first time we've left the bar with guys either...we always just hang out and have some drinks and shoot the shit...its just a fun way to unwind at the end of the night. and i also want to mention at this point...everyone here knows that im still a virgin, and that i have some mental problems...and she knows very well how i am...because she was one of my best friends. and she was acting the whole time like we were just gonna hang out with these guys and that nothing was gonna happen. well...in the room things started getting a little sexual...she was laying there on the bed with one of the guys...he was in his underwear...and her one friend was laying on the bed next to her with another one of the guys. and im in there trying to tell her not to do this shit...not to do something stupid...and then we talked in the living room. and at the start of the night we agreed not to babysit each other so we could just let loose and have a good time. but i was under the impression that we were to still use common sense. i was having some fun too...i have my nipples pierced and im not shy about them, and when people ask to see im ok with showing them, and the guys wanted to see, so i showed them and we were talkin about piercings...so apparently by me doing this im just as skanky as the rest of them. HA. well...i chose to leave the hotel room and go home before the psychotic episode kicked in. i didnt feel like going to jail. and when i got home i sent her a text message saying "please dont do anything stupid." and i got one back from one of her friends telling me "shes fucking him." so i sent one back saying "tell her im pissed." and the reply was "(the one other chick) is getting it on with this one guy, and (my friend) is getting it on with one guy, and im getting it on with so and so, leave us alone." so i called her cell phone. and i lost it. i was livid. now...i realize that shes a grown woman able to make her own choices...but she has 2 young boys, both from different dads...and i really thought she had more brains than this. not only that but i felt so uncomfortable at the room...becuase sexuality in my face like that makes me very uncomfortable. which she knows. i cannot believe that she put me in that position. if she knew the night was gonna go this way...why even invite me out? and why get me to go to the hotel with them? she could have pulled me aside and said...hey this is whats gonna happen here tonight...u might wanna go home cuz u might get uncomfortable...but she didnt, and she doesnt even care that she hurt me. am i not supposed to care about my friends? im protective...i didnt wanna see her do something stupid...i was trying to look out for her...am i wrong? please help me...i dont know what to do...i never want to see her or talk to her again...i dont need friends like that...

I don't think a so-called real friend would want special attention when treated 100% equally. You did the right thing, for you. Fuggit about it . . . you'd all been drinking.
A lot of people, I suspect, have come to realize that love really isn't necessary in good sex. True love sex is a whole different thing.
You may find saving yourself one of the sillier things you do/did in your life? Maybe not.
You sound young. I'm old. Life's what happens when you have no plans.

yea im fairly young...22...and i mean...this guy was gross...i swear this is the truth...buddy had shit stains on his boxers...thats gross...and thats when i started trying to talk some sense into her...when the guys started getting undressed. and then i left shortly after. this threw me into a full psychotic episode...it wasnt pretty...

Hey Sarah, you did the right thing for you. I mean the fact that your still a virgin seems to me to mean you are very smart and in touch with your self. Too many young women think that in order to be liked they have to have sex with a man. First thing is you can't tell your " friend" anything. It seems that she already has made several bad choices in the fact that she had 2 children with 2 different Dads that to me says she isn't smart enough to have any form of birth control. Not anything against the children. I'm not saying that but damn, to have a bunch of girls come over and I think going over there it was "implied" they were going to hook up. I think you are the only one who didn't realize this. You can only answer for you not her, the fact she put you in the situation to me means you think more of the friendship than she does. I would take it for what it is and stop thinking of her as family. Find someone who has the same values as you and give them a try. Just cause you know someone for a long time doesn't mean they won't change, Maybe you grew up and she didn't. She will get a STD especially when a guy goes out with the intention to get some pussy with shit stains on his underwear. Thats just fucking gross. Just drop the friend. I saw your pic on the RIU girl thread, your young and beautiful. You'll find real true friends now that your an adult hold on to them. The psychotic thing isn't relevant you can't have it so someone has to babysit you. Be a grown up and deal as best you can with it. You just happen to be in the era of my kids all jumpy and fidgety let's give them some pills to fuck with their brains a little more. Prozac and all that mental drug shit isn't in my opinion the way to deal with kids. I'm just assuming on this part, you don't have to tell me why or what. It's none of my business. I think you did the right thing got the hell out of there and you can't be your "friends" keeper. P.S. don't share a toliet seat with her ever!!

yea i know what ya mean. and the whole babysitting thing is just what we do together to avoid these kind of situations, it not really babysitting so much as just looking out for each other...its just what we call it...and i know i cant be her keeper...but i just want to help u know? i want to look out for my girls the way i had thought they would look out for me...but its ok...i have better friends...i have a very close knit group that she wasnt a part of...so im just gonna stick with those friends...cuz they would never do something like that...ever. oh well...i guess maybe its better this way.

That is what I wanted to hear move onward and upward.I know this sounds funny but my daughter is 25 and she was a little "hefty" when she was younger and she ended up with "friends" that weren't really friends I taught her everything and was never hesitant about any answer to any question. Now years later these friends are all on their 2or 3 or 4th child all from different dads and miserable and my daughter is just experiencing life the way a 25 year old should no children to hold her down. Sounds like you got a pretty good head on your shoulders, it's hard to let go of the old friends but you gotta look out for you period. If they don't fit in well so be it. remember they must not be that happy if they are trying to find love in a one night "orgy" from what it sounds like. You will find your love from that someone who just catches your eye one day. Life is for you to enjoy and travel and talk on RIU threads and well just whatever you want to do. I am sorry that they did that to you and I do understand the watching out for one another, just too bad it ended up that way they can't be proud of themselves.But you can hold your head up high. Rock on Lil Sarah

Tomorrow your friend will probably feel like crap about the whole situation. Talk to her. I have had a situation in which my best friend and I were totally in different places- I kept getting betrayed- she gave my young, naive friend who had never done any drugs a rohypnol and told her it was tylenol- young friend ended up in jail. Same night she stole money from me for heroin. Anyway she kept taking from me again and again and I was so burnt out but in the end she sorted herself out and we're still friends. Best friends in the 9th grade; now we're 31.

Sometimes it's worth it to stick by someone. However I will say I took a step away from said friend for a bit over a year. When I found her again she was ready to turn things around. Take a step away if she's a toxic person, but talk to her either way.

In my opinion you should try to work things out if the relationship was important to you, but maybe give it some time. We've talked before & I think your smart(pretty too I saw your pic) so you will make the choice that's right for you.

hmm thanks guys...i really appreciate everyones help...i love my RIU family

hey Sarah did you hear from her yet? If so, what did she have to say for herself?

but right now i think the best thing is to remove her from my life. the episode this morning was really bad...my first full psychotic episode. i screamed into the phone that i was gonna kill her and that she should sleep with one eye open...it was not good...its a good thing that she didnt come to my house to try and fight with me because i probably would have killed her...or at least seriously hurt her. this is definitely gonna throw off my shrink tho...cuz im only supposed to be a "borderline" psychotic. not a total sociopath...lol oh well...time to move on i guess...i have better friends than her...

Sunnysideup said:

hey Sarah did you hear from her yet? If so, what did she have to say for herself?

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no...i probably wont hear from her. i told her i wanted to kill her. i dont think i'll be hearing from her anytime soon. shes just a ghetto trailer trash whore as far as im concerned. and im better than that and i dont need to be associated with people like her. its not good for my health.

You do have better friends than her. If she was a true friend she NEVER would of put you in that situation....I am glad that you were smart enough to get the fuck out of there...I really thought the story was going to end with you being raped, and I don't think I could of handled that....I am glad you are safe.....
*grabs you and gives you a big hug*

Sunnysideup said:

You do have better friends than her. If she was a true friend she NEVER would of put you in that situation....I am glad that you were smart enough to get the fuck out of there...I really thought the story was going to end with you being raped, and I don't think I could of handled that....I am glad you are safe.....
*grabs you and gives you a big hug*

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aww thanks. haha me getting raped...thats pretty funny...cuz i would have lost it if someone tried to force themselves on me...raped? no. in jail for beating the piss out of a stupid guy? oh hell yes...

hahaha, atta girl

Hey Sarah, I wish I could give you a hug and tell you it's going to be alright but . . . .well it's not. People make their own choices, its sad but we have to accept these things. Don't write your friend off though just be strong for yourself don't take the whole world on your shoulders.

+rep newgrowth..... well said

NewGrowth said:

Hey Sarah, I wish I could give you a hug and tell you it's going to be alright but . . . .well it's not. People make their own choices, its sad but we have to accept these things. Don't write your friend off though just be strong for yourself don't take the whole world on your shoulders.

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thanks newgrowth. i try not to have such heavy weight on my shoulders...but its so hard sometimes when you want to help people make the right choices...

sarah22 said:

i know what you're all thinking, its my own fault i should have known what the hotel room would mean

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a lot of guys might take it this way

sarah22 said:

..but this is not the first time we have partied in a hotel room with guys...and its not the first time we've left the bar with guys either...we always just hang out and have some drinks and shoot the shit...

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been there done that. going back to my apartment/dorm room/frat house/parents house/friends place/your place does not guarantee there will be sex or messing around but it does greatly increase the odds. i've never gotten laid by a girl who told me she was going home and going to sleep.

sarah22 said:

and she knows very well how i am...because she was one of my best friends. and she was acting the whole time like we were just gonna hang out with these guys and that nothing was gonna happen.

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i've observed this in female psychology. if a girl has to make statements about how she isn't going to hook up with a guy it means:
1)hooking up is already on her mind.
2)she's done it enough where she has to start limiting herself before things get out of hand
3)she has already analyzed each of the guys as to what she would or would not do with them

***edit i wrote the above statements before i read "she already has 2 kids with 2 different men. i sooooo knew it."***

sarah22 said:

and at the start of the night we agreed not to babysit each other so we could just let loose and have a good time. but i was under the impression that we were to still use common sense. i was having some fun too...

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she probably has a different opinion of common sense. unfortunately its not too common.

sarah22 said:

i have my nipples pierced and im not shy about them, and when people ask to see im ok with showing them, and the guys wanted to see, so i showed them and we were talkin about piercings...so apparently by me doing this im just as skanky as the rest of them.

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any doubt the guys had about what was going to happen went away when your nips came out. i recommend not doing this in the future with guys you don't want to hook up with.

sarah22 said:

i realize that shes a grown woman able to make her own choices...but she has 2 young boys, both from different dads...and i really thought she had more brains than this.

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nights llke this are how she will have kid #3 by dad #3.

sarah22 said:

if she knew the night was gonna go this way...why even invite me out?

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she knew you would cockblock her and that you might stop her from doing something she would regret. you are her safe friend. she knew she would defy you if was something she wouldn't regret.

sarah22 said:

and why get me to go to the hotel with them?

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to determine whether or not she would regret doing anything with them. or if already determined, to carry out such acts.

sarah22 said:

she could have pulled me aside and said...hey this is whats gonna happen here tonight...u might wanna go home cuz u might get uncomfortable...but she didnt,

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girls have a real hard time being straightforward about sex. they lie to guys all the time and they lie to girls too. few girls outside of a relationship will ever state directly that they intend to have sex. i guess they think its less slutty if it "just happens" than "i planned to do it"

sarah22 said:

and she doesnt even care that she hurt me. am i not supposed to care about my friends? im protective...i didnt wanna see her do something stupid...i was trying to look out for her...am i wrong?

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she is another example of why female friendships are often fickle and fleeting. i am not here to blame you or her. i am here to make sarcastic and witty comments about my observations. i think you were both right and both wrong in different ways, for the record.

sarah22 said:

please help me...i dont know what to do...i never want to see her or talk to her again...i dont need friends like that...

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delete her # from your phone and/or buy her condoms. or you will have to learn to deal with her sluttiness. and pm me her # if she's hot.

makinthemagic said:

a lot of guys might take it this way



been there done that. going back to my apartment/dorm room/frat house/parents house/friends place/your place does not guarantee there will be sex or messing around but it does greatly increase the odds. i've never gotten laid by a girl who told me she was going home and going to sleep.




i've observed this in female psychology. if a girl has to make statements about how she isn't going to hook up with a guy it means:
1)hooking up is already on her mind.
2)she's done it enough where she has to start limiting herself before things get out of hand
3)she has already analyzed each of the guys as to what she would or would not do with them

***edit i wrote the above statements before i read "she already has 2 kids with 2 different men. i sooooo knew it."***



she probably has a different opinion of common sense. unfortunately its not too common.



any doubt the guys had about what was going to happen went away when your nips came out. i recommend not doing this in the future with guys you don't want to hook up with.




nights llke this are how she will have kid #3 by dad #3.



she knew you would cockblock her and that you might stop her from doing something she would regret. you are her safe friend. she knew she would defy you if was something she wouldn't regret.



to determine whether or not she would regret doing anything with them. or if already determined, to carry out such acts.



girls have a real hard time being straightforward about sex. they lie to guys all the time and they lie to girls too. few girls outside of a relationship will ever state directly that they intend to have sex. i guess they think its less slutty if it "just happens" than "i planned to do it"




she is another example of why female friendships are often fickle and fleeting. i am not here to blame you or her. i am here to make sarcastic and witty comments about my observations. i think you were both right and both wrong in different ways, for the record.



delete her # from your phone and/or buy her condoms. or you will have to learn to deal with her sluttiness. and pm me her # if she's hot.

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u are totally right about all of it. and ur right about me being her "safe" friend. im everyones safe friend. and the whole thing with my nipps...i mean...i show everyone...i did them myself and im proud of them. the guys knew nothing would happen with me...the one asked if he could touch them and i flat out said no...and another guy told me that if i wanted a drink i was gonna get a big load of "cream". i told him not to put his penis anywhere near me cuz i would bite it off...and i was also very up front and honest about my being a psycho. i tell everyone so that they cant say that they didnt know. i warn everyone because i can potentially be very dangerous. man...u make a ton of sense about her tho. thats exactly how she is...she doesnt wanna seem slutty so she played it off like we were just gonna chill with them...but she never should have put me in that kind of uncomfortable place...live and learn i guess...oh...and i deleted her right away...off my phone, and my msn and my facebook...shes outta my life for good now.