Think about the entire past you had with your wife. Think about all the good and all the bad. Think about what sort of person she is, the good and the bad in her, and think about yourself, the good and the bad in you. Be brutally honest about both of you. Then ask yourself if the two of you can spend the rest of your lives together and be happy, and again be brutally honest and merciless and do not candy coat anything or minimize any of the bad or overrate any of the good.
If you are sure the two of you can spend the rest of your lives together than something that in comparison is trivial to decades of happiness, something like growing pot or even smoking pot, should never be allowed to stand in the way of the happiness of two people.
But if you cannot in total honestly say that you feel 100% confident that the two of you can, and almost certainly will, spend the rest of your lives together and be happy, don't take her back, don't repeat a mistake.
People tend to go back to ex-girlfriends or wives they are separated from, or even divorced from, because it is simpler and safer than searching for Miss. Right. You have a level of comfort already and it's like returning to college in the fall and getting back together with your old roommate. It's easier than breaking in a new one, it's safer because you know what they are like and even if they are not fantastic you can put up with their flaw for the school year the same as they can put up with yours.
But life isn't a school year and you cannot just put up with someone for decades and be happy.
So, you have to decide if you want her back because you are positive the two of you are the very best people for each other or if you have been apart just long enough for the bad times to not seem so bad and the good times to seem even better than they were, and because it is easier to go back to a flawed relationship where at least there is a preexisting comfort zone than reenter the meat market and begin a search for the real right woman for you.
Ask yourself, and be brutally honest, if you could one day say the tame basic thing about your wife as is said in this exchange from the flick "Zack and Miri Make A Porno."
Zack Brown: I've known her since the first grade, you don't fuck someone you met in the first grade.
Delaney: Excuse me, I met my wife in kindergarten, we got married senior year, and she's been the queen of my world ever since.
Zack Brown: But what if you could do it all over again?
Delaney: I would jerk off and live by myself. That woman is the bane of my existence.
If you think you could ever imagine yourself saying something like that at some point down the road, don't take her back for any reason or reasons.
