I found an old box of batteries a few butterfly knives and some Black Cats. Honestly, at first I was confused. I didnt remember putting all my gravity knives and explosives into a box and tucking them into a cabinet I never used. Luckily, moving has me in places I never dreamed of being. Anywho, I reached into this magical box and grabbed my anodized green butterfly knife. It felt like it had never left my hand. I proceeded to swing that fucker like my hand was on fire. Click, clack, whoosh .......some real badass noises were emitting from this death tornado in my hand. No joke, at one point, I was spinning it so fast it looked like it was going BACKWARDS!!!!!. FUCKING MAGICAL MOMEMT FOLKS. I could have continued for days. My wrists know no boundaries, let's just say they've been conditioned quite well. My spiritual moment came to an end as soon as I stopped. I realized I had cut my finger a few times. Not terribly bad, just enough to cause a decent bleed. So obviously I had to check out the M80's and Black cats now. I grab a couple in my hand as im going out for a smoke. As soon as I walk out, my brother in law shows up. He doesn't trust me with fire, explosives, or fast vehicles. In his defense I did melt pajama pants to his leg and almost blow off his testicles on vacation a few years back. WHAT!!!!! He shouldn't have been standing there. How'd i know twisting the fuses of two high explosive charges could end in one being launched into his groin before exploding. I call that an act of nature. Can't control those things.
Anyways, my brother in law is outside when I walk out to smoke with these firecrackers this morning. We greet eachother and he asks to borrow my drill etc etc. Meanwhile he has no idea that yours truly has firecrackers. He wouldn't be in the same county as me if he knew. So as were walking between vehicles to my shop, I covertly light the firecracker with my cigarette and toss it over my head towards him. I took off running straight and he takes off going back between the cars. When the firecracker popped, it didn't sound like it was in the right area. Well...... it wasn't. I tossed the firecracker and it landed in his shoe. He literally ran off with it LMFAO. It landed right in between his heel and the back of his shoe. He came over and his sock was black and he had a nice little raspberry. The first words out of both of our mouths was, "I cant believe i did this again". That's right folks, I actually had thrown a firecracker in this man's shoe before.......lol wtf. We actually laughed pretty hard about it. Then my wife opens the door to throw some boxes out on the porch. She heard the firecracker and laughter and asked what happened. Her first words were ..... AGAIN?. Then she noticed the cut on my finger. After explaining myself I had absolutely no question on who had boxed up all my goodies and hid them in the cabinet years prior... lol
Back to work.
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