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Transexual strippers and crystal meth: Why marijuana should be legal

Discussion in 'Toke N Talk' started by Delta9ed, Apr 6, 2009.


    Delta9ed Active Member

    I lost my dealer about a few months ago. It's ok, he wasn't very reliable and he liked to put his finger on the scale. Since then I have been on a Quentin Tarantino-esque search for the "perfect" dealer.

    I called up a friend of a friend named "Devon" who had some hydro. I have to admit it was a hell of strain; one of the best that I have ever smoked (strawberry cough hybrid). I was more than happy with the transaction, that is until I stepped out on my balcony to test it out. I hear Devon on the phone, outside of my apartment complex, "Fuck that shit, he stole from me? I'm gonna kill that motherfucker, no! no you don't steal MY WEED and get away with it."

    Well it just so happens that my next door neighbor is an OSBI agent on the drug force task team. It also just so happens that my neighbor is sitiing on his balcony reading a book. As much as I loved his weed, and the fact he delivered, I can not work with someone who cannot keep a low key.

    This is where to fun begins.

    I went on craigslist to search for some green. (I know it's not the brightest idea, but shit I'm desperate here) I didn't really think it would produce anything, but after my 420 distress signal, I actually got quite a few responses. My first response was from a stripper known as "April." She wanted to meet outside of the club she was working at and I was more than happy. After 45 mintutes of waiting for April, a damn near 7'0 stripper walked out to my car.( I'm 6'4 and I was dwarfed) I'm not one to judge, but either she was packing a 7 1/2 inch clit or this was definately a man. I handed her $75 and she told me to roll down the passanger window. I was starting to get a little worried but I just did what Shebeast said. She walked to another car in the parking lot and strolled back by the passanger window. She threw something in the seat. I quickly said thank you and sped off. As I was leaving the club I looked over in the seat.. There was a bag of Crystal Meth. I gave it to a homeless guy that was under the highway bridge... he didn't have any weed either.

    This is why weed needs to be legal, because I am tired of dealing with crooked dealers and trannys with crystal meth.

    (Sorry for the rant)
    fdd2blk and Stoney McFried like this.
    Don Gin and Ton

    Don Gin and Ton Well-Known Member

    bbaaaaaaaaaahahahaha thats priceless man and quite tarantino esque dude would you give april a foot massage?

    Delta9ed Active Member

    I was scared shitless.... but looking back on it... maybe she was a little hot. :mrgreen:
    Cheech Wizard

    Cheech Wizard Well-Known Member

    grow your own then you wont have to deal with scurvs like that

    juststartin Well-Known Member

    thats a classic story!

    u should probly just look up growing a plant or 3 yourself!

    Louis541 Well-Known Member

    Lol, that's kinda funny. Not that you got ripped. But that apparently you got a good response and the one you respond to is the stripper. I would of drove off as soon as I saw that Gigantic bitch.

    tnrtinr Well-Known Member

    It's true.

    I know quite a few "professional" guys that have the same issue. They dont want to grow because they are afraid of the mess that would happen if they got caught. They are afrid someone breaking into their home and setting off an alarm and the police stumbling on the grow, or a fire... And they end up dealing with / giving the shaddiest motherfuckers cash instead of a friend or respectable business owner.

    Delta9ed Active Member

    This is exactly my predicament. Oklahoma has a cultivation law that is written as < 1000 plants 2 years to LIFE.. even if you have a serious amount of green the limit is 2 - 10. I'm not sure how strict they would be here, but Life for one god damned plant, you have to be kidding me.

    duff420 Well-Known Member

    yeah alot of doctors and lawyers and shit dont wanna be growing. Why grow and risk shit when they have so much money they can just pay somone else. and yes finding a good reliable dealer is hard. I have only found 2 dealers i am happy with outa 3 citys and a good 50 dealers maybe more (im not exadurating this at all) of all these people i only got 2 guys, they dont even deal reallly they just got a hookup in torronto they pick up from. Only good weed around and honestly i know theres better shit then wut they have but at least wut they have is high grade. like 8/10 example being northern lights and some strain of kush.

    loke Well-Known Member

    wohh gnarly story dude, that stripper sounds like a freak. I think I would have done the exact same thing with the meth, that shi* is no substitute for the sweet intoxication of herb but I just wanted to say it's spelled Transsexual not transexual..... lmao i'm actually telling someone how to spell something.

    RaymondStone Well-Known Member

    I lol'ed. I have been soo fortunate, 2/3 dealers been real good. The last guy sold ok stuff, but he was a douchebag of giant proportions.

    joker152 Well-Known Member

    wow dude, that is a truly classic story... when i got to the part about the gigabitch walkin across the parking lot i was pretty sure thats where the crystal meth part came in, that just screamed meth deal. my advice to you is to go through the loudmouth guy again but just go to his place to get the hookup

    VansStoner1748 Well-Known Member

    shes a tranny/stripper/meth dealer, prolly wearing 5 inch heals, i wouldof got my money back,
    Brick Top

    Brick Top New Member

    This is not about drugs but it is about tranny-strippers. Many years back, around 1974, several friends and I sent to a strip club in Chicago one Saturday night. One of my friends, named Jimmy, was most likely the best looking guy I ever knew. Jimmy had more women than an Alabama hound dog has fleas in August. If Jimmy went anywhere with us the rest of us could be sure that we would not end up with any female that we wanted because any that were even half decent looking would all want Jimmy so bad that they would not settle for less. While Jimmy was our pal we still half hated him because of the reaction he caused in girls.

    Well we got to the bar and three of us sat at a table but Jimmy sat at the bar. In a little while we noticed a rather tall but very attractive female at the end of the bar and like most every female did she was flirting with Jimmy. A few minutes later she had moved down the bar and was talking to Jimmy. Not long after that we noticed that Jimmy and the rather attractive female had left the bar.

    Being that she was so attractive we figured that she was a stripper hanging around on her night off and like so often was the case we were all envious of Jimmy but then we still had to joke how it was so typically Jimmy, that the hottest girl in the place would be on him like a duck on a June bug as soon as she spotted him.

    About fifteen minutes or so later Jimmy came back into the bar alone. He was very red-faced and his hair was messed up and his shirt was torn. He sat down at the bar again and started pounding down shots. We went over to see how she was and what had happened to him. We figured that her boyfriend may have shown up and Jimmy got into a fight with him.

    Jimmy wouldn’t say anything and kept pounding down the shots. When he got drunk he finally let slip what happened. He said they went to his car and they started making out. Jimmy said she had luscious lips and a very talented tongue. He opened her shirt and he said she had large firm perfect tits and he played with them and sucked them and loved it. He said next she opened his pants and went down on him and she was fantastic. She throated him and gave him the best head he had aver had, and coming from Jimmy that meant something because he sampled almost every mouth and throat in Northern Illinois and Southern Wisconsin so he knew what he was talking about. When he shot his wad she gobbled it all down and then Jimmy figured he would return the favor and give her the licking of her life.

    He slide up her tight short skirt and got between her legs and find himself face to face with a ‘weasel’ larger than his. I’m sure you sensed that is what was coming.

    He dove out of this car and yanked ‘her’ out after him and the two of then duked it out in the parking lot. I would have LOVED to have seen it because while Jimmy was very good looking he was short, only about 5’ 9" or 5’ 10" and the "babe’ had to be 6’ 2" or more. It would have been so classic to see little Jimmy duking it out with the big tranny stripper.

    Little or not Jimmy was a strong tough guy and he made sort work of the tranny stripper and that is when he came back into the bar and started pounding shots.

    Jimmy made us promise to never tell the story but it was just to damn good to keep a secret so we of course told everyone we knew. That was Jimmy’s payback for us all finishing our nights with a case of blue-balls because every babe wanted Jimmy and only Jimmy and would not settle for the rest of us.

    As it turned out the strip club had a tranny stripper night, Thursday if I remember right, and the ‘babe’ was one of the tranny strippers hanging around on ‘her’ night off. After that we teased Jimmy like mad saying its Thursday night, want to hit the strip club and pick up another ‘babe?’

    That was likely the ONLY night that I was glad I wasn’t Jimmy.
    Stoney McFried likes this.
    Cheech Wizard

    Cheech Wizard Well-Known Member

    Man, thats crazy Id be pounding shots too... and I dont even drink anymore... thats gotta f with your head...... I feel like Id "sense" it if a woman was really a man... but I guess sometimes it can be tough... thats gross, poor Jimmy

    tnrtinr Well-Known Member

    OMG - I hope that story is true.

    The similies were cracking me up.

    KushKing949 New Member

    damn homie you got played why wouldnt you look at what you got b4 you drove off lol thats your fault outta all of the replies you supposedly gotten you went for the stripper hahaha
    Stoney McFried

    Stoney McFried Well-Known Member

    You got rep.
    Cheech Wizard

    Cheech Wizard Well-Known Member

    They do need to legalize.. I am so f'n depressed I had to shut down my op a week ago because of god damn plumbers smelling it and seeing it... URGH! Maybe Im cool, but now Im on someones radar and totally paranoid of having giant herb plants in my cellar... Why cant they end this silly prohibition.. its so ridiculous... I found something I TRULY TRULY loved (growing kind herb) and now I am too scared to.. I have lots to lose.. Thats another thing, I feel like you get penalized more if you own your own house and pay property taxes cuz then they can straight up seize it... Pisses me off so much
    Stoney McFried likes this.

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