Time to start rubbing your plants.

http://now.msn.com/caress-your-plants-to-help-them-avoid-fungus-research-shows?ocid=vt_fbmsnnow

I loled a lil.

I don't mind foreplay with my plants but going all the way is out of the question. And what do you do if you find out one of the plants you've been stroking is a male? Fine if you're gay but what if your straight? Wait till that story makesit's way to the locker room or watercooler. Just how fucking far are you willing to go to get stoned?

rub every leaf? thats a lot of rubbing i should grow smaller plants i guess.

so finshaggy did get a writing job?
If, like Prince Charles, you thought sweet talking your plants was enough to make them grow better, then think again.
To make them healthier and stronger, you really ought to stroke their leaves lovingly too, according to scientists.
http://www.dailymail.co.uk/health/article-2420406/Dont-just-talk-plants-caress-Gently-stroking-leaves-increases-resistance-mould.html

I grow indoors (cabinet) and I beat up my plants during veg. Like a windstorm, I have a fan but I think it helps them grow stronger.