There needs to be more help for people with Mental Illness

I'm sure I'm not the only one who knows people who have committed suicide.

I'm sure I'm not the only one who has thought about it a multitude of times.

But why am I the only one of my friends and acquaintances talking about it?

Why isn't it easier to talk about, and why isn't there more help for people out there who think they have no other way out besides taking their own life?

A friend of mine I used to work with, recently committed suicide. He was 20 years old.

He had contacted me a month ago asking how I got a MMJ prescription. We were supposed to meet a few weeks ago, but then he said that he was enquiring "for a friend" and nothing ever came of it.

He's the 3rd young person I have known to take their own life in Thunder Bay in the past couple years.

I know how sad people can get. I just got an e-mail around my birthday from "The suicide forum's", and I had totally forgot I signed up there this past Christmas.

But metal illness still has this ridiculous stigma around it, and no one talks about it. It's a fucking epidemic when the end result is often death by your own hand. Suicide, drugs, alcohol, reckless behaviour - they all are a part of mental illness. And not everyone survives.

The hardest part is admitting that you have a problem that you can't deal with on your own.

I wish I could have helped my friend.

A lot of the time there are no warnings, and that is a subject a lot of people wont admit to having thoughts about. And people who really arent suicidal dont like others thinking they are and talking to them about it. There is a lot of help around where I live for that, but no one I know that commited suicide ever went to or called those places.

The real problem is identifying those who have a real problem from those who are just down at the moment. How do you do that without embarrassing the shit out of people or making them feel stupid

And what I mean by that is, most people know suicide is stupid. There are better ways to deal with things. Just like thoughts of murdering someone, even if it werent illegal, people probably wouldnt want to talk to others about due to the stigma attatched to it. Bad example, I know, but I think it gets what im trying say across.

The only way you can ever know if someone is suicidal, is if they have a failed attempt - or if they tell you.

I have literally contemplated suicide thousands of times. It's not a popular thing when I tell my friends (I lied about it all for 16 years). They immediately internalize the guilt of not knowing. Some people get mad and say just how selfish it is.

I don't know how to get people to get help before they do something like that. I never told anyone at the time, so how can I expect other people to say anything? I would write to myself, and sometimes I would seek help on suicide forums. The most recent "bad spells" for me over the last couple years, I went back on medication. Celexa - which did seem to help at the time.

But those fucking SSRI's and other psychopharmaceuticals can end up making you really sick, and they change you.

I don't know - it's just really sad.

I'm not really seeking "the answer" here. I just wish people felt more comfortable talking about it.

They barely know how the brain works let alone trying to identify mental illness and how to treat it sadly.

It is sad. I have had times where I thought people might kill themselves, and I found myself thinking, "what if talking to them about it makes them feel worse and pushes them further".

I think the best thing we can do is be more "preventative" if you will. Just make sure your friends always know they can talk to you about anything. If you arent that close, they wont tell you anyways, or feel comfortable talking about it. I hope my closest friends always know im here. Knowing people care is a big deterrent for a lot of people. Just like I know I would never do that, just because I couldnt do that to my mother, knowing how much she cares for me

Yessica... said:

The only way you can ever know if someone is suicidal, is if they have a failed attempt - or if they tell you.

I have literally contemplated suicide thousands of times. It's not a popular thing when I tell my friends (I lied about it all for 16 years). They immediately internalize the guilt of not knowing. Some people get mad and say just how selfish it is.

I don't know how to get people to get help before they do something like that. I never told anyone at the time, so how can I expect other people to say anything? I would write to myself, and sometimes I would seek help on suicide forums. The most recent "bad spells" for me over the last couple years, I went back on medication. Celexa - which did seem to help at the time.

But those fucking SSRI's and other psychopharmaceuticals can end up making you really sick, and they change you.

I don't know - it's just really sad.

Click to expand...

I am going into a rehab Friday, for the 3rd time in my life. It is for alcohol dependency. I am 57 years old, and was diagnosed Bi-Polar when I was 27, way to late in my opinion. There was nowhere to go, nowhere to seek help through out my adolescence, so I self medicated, starting at age 12. I lived in an abusive home, so I had nowhere to turn to besides alcohol and drugs to make my life tolerable. I have been thinking of suicide for as long as I can remember, but the 1st person that I knew that killed themselves happened in the 9th grade, with a friend that went home, lay on his bed and shot himself with his fathers rifle. The next was when I was 18, and another friend came home from the Army, and hanged himself. The next was my ex girlfriends brother, who at 19, also hanged himself. The next was a former boss, who was 43, and shot himself in his chest, leaving a wife and 2 children in the wake of his action. There was NOTHING out there to help those people. Call a suicide hotline. Yea, believe that one if you want. The only help is by GETTING medical help to CONTROL the depression that causes these actions. That is what finally helped me, after YEARS of searching for some sort of peace. Unfortunately, that is not true for MILLIONS of people in the US. Most have no access to good treatment, and even if they do find some help, at that point it is often too late to halt the self destruction that brought them there in the 1st place,. It took me YEARS to find a correct combination of prescribed drugs, and 3 Psychiatrists to make my life somewhat tolerable. Alcohol is really the last demon that I have left to contend with, and it has proven much more difficult to shed than any other drug that I have ever taken, and I have been addicted to most at one time or another.. I have to keep faith though, that the next day will be better than today, as that is the only thing that keeps me going. I do not want to give up. I do not want to surrender. I've made it this far, so I really just want to win my battle, and live in peace for awhile. It would be nice.

The mind is a manipulative bitch sometimes. Sure, I never did it. I knew how upset my parents would be.

But - when I go back and read some of the small, disjointed sentences I wrote myself at the time of ultimate sadness, I always convince myself that it's selfish to stick around. That leaving, would be the best for everyone.

It's hard to reach out, when you convince yourself that you're the problem.

Jimdamick said:

I am going into a rehab Friday, for the 3rd time in my life. It is for alcohol dependency. I am 57 years old, and was diagnosed Bi-Polar when I was 27, way to late in my opinion. There was nowhere to go, nowhere to seek help through out my adolescence, so I self medicated, starting at age 12. I lived in an abusive home, so I had nowhere to turn to besides alcohol and drugs to make my life tolerable. I have been thinking of suicide for as long as I can remember, but the 1st person that I knew that killed themselves happened in the 9th grade, with a friend that went home, lay on his bed and shot himself with his fathers rifle. The next was when I was 18, and another friend came home from the Army, and hanged himself. The next was my ex girlfriends brother, who at 19, also hanged himself. The next was a former boss, who was 43, and shot himself in his chest, leaving a wife and 2 children in the wake of his action. There was NOTHING out there to help those people. Call a suicide hotline. Yea, believe that one if you want. The only help is by GETTING medical help to CONTROL the depression that causes these actions. That is what finally helped me, after YEARS of searching for some sort of peace. Unfortunately, that is not true for MILLIONS of people in the US. Most have no access to good treatment, and even if they do find some help, at that point it is often too late to halt the self destruction that brought them there in the 1st place,. It took me YEARS to find a correct combination of prescribed drugs, and 3 Psychiatrists to make my life somewhat tolerable. Alcohol is really the last demon that I have left to contend with, and it has proven much more difficult to shed than any other drug that I have ever taken, and I have been addicted to most at one time or another.. I have to keep faith though, that the next day will be better than today, as that is the only thing that keeps me going. I do not want to give up. I do not want to surrender. I've made it this far, so I really just want to win my battle, and live in peace for awhile. It would be nice.

Click to expand...

Thank you for sharing that. It's hard to fight sometimes, but you're doing it! I think it's really hard - because you feel so alone a lot of the time.

But, we're not alone. So many people struggle. And talking about it, in my opinion, is the very best thing.

I've lost more friends and acquaintances to suicide than I care to think of. I've delivered suicide prevention workshops/presentations. I've been in the pit myself, the worst being I recall....I had actual tunnel vision and felt as though I was hanging on to the edge of the tunnel with my fingernails. Spent 4 weeks at the 'Kingdom of the Disenchanted'..... for those from T Bay it's that wonderful hospital near Boulevard Lake. A friend coined that name after his stint and we use the name to inject humour into and bring levity to our stays. In all seriousness though it is very difficult at times to encourage and walk with others, to journey through the thoughts and feelings that accompany a major depressive episode. What helped me was when the doc asked me....why are you here, you don't belong here? I told him I begged to differ, then I took a risk and shared the tortures I felt in my soul, then we got somewhere and I was out shortly thereafter. Although I never consciously developed a plan, my actions screamed of suicidal behaviour from childhood, extreme risk taking behaviour/addictions is a pretty good measurement tool and I was off the chart.
The usual rhetoric of 'it's a permanent solution to a short term problem' does nothing to help the individual. The key is education and understanding. Not all individuals present with the same symptomatology. I had one friend that called me as I was heading out the door for work one night he wanted to talk right then, I believe I told him to call me at work but he didn't. In hindsight I can now see the seriousness and fragility of his situation, at the time we always encouraged each other to find the learning/humorours side of our experiences. Today when I recall it I still hear the defeatist tone in his voice. He was under the false impression that he had no other option and what I believe was shame kept him from being truly honest with me that night. I found out after the fact why he chose the path he did, of course I was shocked, saddened, and angry with him and his choice as I believed it was just a 'bump' in the road of healing, he on the other hand saw it as an insurmountable situation. It was one of the most painful experiences of learning and growth for those who loved him. It motivated a lot of us to re-evaluate our knowledge and make the promise to self 'never again on my watch' will I allow it to happen. I will do all I can.
imho.....It is all in the way we listen to the 'spirit' of the other, not the verbal mishmash that usually clouds the mind and hinders coherent thought and presentation of that thought.

jimdamick said
"Call a suicide hotline. Yea, believe that one if you want."

My Oldest daughter...volunteers at a suicide helpline...and has for 5 or 6 years now...
Trust me they care... and take it very seriously,,,,when someone calls...
if you really need help they will help...

Jimdamick said:

I am going into a rehab Friday, for the 3rd time in my life. It is for alcohol dependency. I am 57 years old, and was diagnosed Bi-Polar when I was 27, way to late in my opinion. There was nowhere to go, nowhere to seek help through out my adolescence, so I self medicated, starting at age 12. I lived in an abusive home, so I had nowhere to turn to besides alcohol and drugs to make my life tolerable. I have been thinking of suicide for as long as I can remember, but the 1st person that I knew that killed themselves happened in the 9th grade, with a friend that went home, lay on his bed and shot himself with his fathers rifle. The next was when I was 18, and another friend came home from the Army, and hanged himself. The next was my ex girlfriends brother, who at 19, also hanged himself. The next was a former boss, who was 43, and shot himself in his chest, leaving a wife and 2 children in the wake of his action. There was NOTHING out there to help those people. Call a suicide hotline. Yea, believe that one if you want. The only help is by GETTING medical help to CONTROL the depression that causes these actions. That is what finally helped me, after YEARS of searching for some sort of peace. Unfortunately, that is not true for MILLIONS of people in the US. Most have no access to good treatment, and even if they do find some help, at that point it is often too late to halt the self destruction that brought them there in the 1st place,. It took me YEARS to find a correct combination of prescribed drugs, and 3 Psychiatrists to make my life somewhat tolerable. Alcohol is really the last demon that I have left to contend with, and it has proven much more difficult to shed than any other drug that I have ever taken, and I have been addicted to most at one time or another.. I have to keep faith though, that the next day will be better than today, as that is the only thing that keeps me going. I do not want to give up. I do not want to surrender. I've made it this far, so I really just want to win my battle, and live in peace for awhile. It would be nice.

Click to expand...

Hang in there, it does get better, there are so many similarities as I read your post I felt as if I was reading an autobiography at times. I'm a few years (4) younger than you and I became a ('Friend of Bill's) in 1992. it was a torturous ride at times but I listened to the 'old timers' and they helped me back on my feet when I needed it. Not sure where you are going through treatment, different facilities offer different style services. I am grateful that I went through when the 'hardass' counselllors were allowed to do what they did best. They delivered what I'd call the Hazelden model as most of the good counsellors were trained there. I know that a lot of facilities in Canada anyway have changed to a harm reduction model as opposed to the old 'in your face' now tell me the truth and quit bullshitting model. Some say it was abusive, and yes it can be construed that way. I needed it to break through my denial. I will always love them for their melding of harshness when needed and tenderness when required message..... they saved my life. I'm sure some will read this and recall the 'Old Smith'.....not the new one.
I might add it was the scariest thing I did in my life......I'm not religious by any stretch but I do know that a Higher Power helped keep me stumbling along..........

cannadan said:

jimdamick said
"Call a suicide hotline. Yea, believe that one if you want."

My Oldest daughter...volunteers at a suicide helpline...and has for 5 or 6 years now...
Trust me they care... and take it very seriously,,,,when someone calls...
if you really need help they will help...

Click to expand...

I was always too scared to call the hotline. In my mind, the police would be sent over like something out of a movie trying to bang the door down shouting "you have everything to live for". I know it's not the way it goes - but that's what I thought.

The anonymity of the internet came in handy though. I did join several suicide forums over the time. I don't really remember if or what I posted. It was just nice hearing you're not alone.

freddyc said:

Hang in there, it does get better, there are so many similarities as I read your post I felt as if I was reading an autobiography at times. I'm a few years (4) younger than you and I became a ('Friend of Bill's) in 1992. it was a torturous ride at times but I listened to the 'old timers' and they helped me back on my feet when I needed it. Not sure where you are going through treatment, different facilities offer different style services. I am grateful that I went through when the 'hardass' counselllors were allowed to do what they did best. They delivered what I'd call the Hazeldon model as most of the good counsellors where trained there. I know that a lot of facilities in Canada anyway have changed to a harm reduction model as opposed to the old 'in your face' now tell me the truth and quit bullshitting model. Some say it was abusive, and yes it can be construed that way. I needed it to break through my denial. I will always love them for their melding of harshness when needed and tenderness when required message..... I'm sure some will read this and recall the 'Old Smith'.....not the new one.

Click to expand...

I had a psychiatrist that coddled me for years. In the end, it didn't really do me much good. I ended up becoming more insightful about myself kinda on my own. It took about 16 years, and I still think I'm fuckin nuts. But - at leas I feel a lot better admitting that I have problems. All my friends and family know now. It feels so much better.

Jimdamick said:

I am going into a rehab Friday, for the 3rd time in my life. It is for alcohol dependency. I am 57 years old, and was diagnosed Bi-Polar when I was 27, way to late in my opinion. There was nowhere to go, nowhere to seek help through out my adolescence, so I self medicated, starting at age 12. I lived in an abusive home, so I had nowhere to turn to besides alcohol and drugs to make my life tolerable. I have been thinking of suicide for as long as I can remember, but the 1st person that I knew that killed themselves happened in the 9th grade, with a friend that went home, lay on his bed and shot himself with his fathers rifle. The next was when I was 18, and another friend came home from the Army, and hanged himself. The next was my ex girlfriends brother, who at 19, also hanged himself. The next was a former boss, who was 43, and shot himself in his chest, leaving a wife and 2 children in the wake of his action. There was NOTHING out there to help those people. Call a suicide hotline. Yea, believe that one if you want. The only help is by GETTING medical help to CONTROL the depression that causes these actions. That is what finally helped me, after YEARS of searching for some sort of peace. Unfortunately, that is not true for MILLIONS of people in the US. Most have no access to good treatment, and even if they do find some help, at that point it is often too late to halt the self destruction that brought them there in the 1st place,. It took me YEARS to find a correct combination of prescribed drugs, and 3 Psychiatrists to make my life somewhat tolerable. Alcohol is really the last demon that I have left to contend with, and it has proven much more difficult to shed than any other drug that I have ever taken, and I have been addicted to most at one time or another.. I have to keep faith though, that the next day will be better than today, as that is the only thing that keeps me going. I do not want to give up. I do not want to surrender. I've made it this far, so I really just want to win my battle, and live in peace for awhile. It would be nice.

Click to expand...

"You can go out and get shit faced drunk tomorrow, just don't drink today" this saying has helped me for the last 19 yrs. Alcohol is a mind screwing drug that affects us all differently.

I hope you all the best in quitting.

Grandpapy said:

"You can go out and get shit faced drunk tomorrow, just don't drink today" this saying has helped me for the last 19 yrs. Alcohol is a mind screwing drug that affects us all differently.

I hope you all the best in quitting.

Click to expand...

Love it...yes 'One day at a time'..... I always found I had to vary it from one day to say 5 minutes or one minute at a time just to get through to the 'other side'....lol

Yessica... said:

I was always too scared to call the hotline. In my mind, the police would be sent over like something out of a movie trying to bang the door down shouting "you have everything to live for". I know it's not the way it goes - but that's what I thought.

The anonymity of the internet came in handy though. I did join several suicide forums over the time. I don't really remember if or what I posted. It was just nice hearing you're not alone.

I had a psychiatrist that coddled me for years. In the end, it didn't really do me much good. I ended up becoming more insightful about myself kinda on my own. It took about 16 years, and I still think I'm fuckin nuts. But - at leas I feel a lot better admitting that I have problems. All my friends and family know now. It feels so much better.

Click to expand...

We're all nuts.....lol....some just won't allow themselves the insight or in other words just take themselves way too seriously.....Like Bradshaw pointed out in the 90's................ 95% of families are dysfunctional to one degree or another....

Jimdamick said:

I am going into a rehab Friday, for the 3rd time in my life. It is for alcohol dependency. I am 57 years old, and was diagnosed Bi-Polar when I was 27, way to late in my opinion. There was nowhere to go, nowhere to seek help through out my adolescence, so I self medicated, starting at age 12. I lived in an abusive home, so I had nowhere to turn to besides alcohol and drugs to make my life tolerable. I have been thinking of suicide for as long as I can remember, but the 1st person that I knew that killed themselves happened in the 9th grade, with a friend that went home, lay on his bed and shot himself with his fathers rifle. The next was when I was 18, and another friend came home from the Army, and hanged himself. The next was my ex girlfriends brother, who at 19, also hanged himself. The next was a former boss, who was 43, and shot himself in his chest, leaving a wife and 2 children in the wake of his action. There was NOTHING out there to help those people. Call a suicide hotline. Yea, believe that one if you want. The only help is by GETTING medical help to CONTROL the depression that causes these actions. That is what finally helped me, after YEARS of searching for some sort of peace. Unfortunately, that is not true for MILLIONS of people in the US. Most have no access to good treatment, and even if they do find some help, at that point it is often too late to halt the self destruction that brought them there in the 1st place,. It took me YEARS to find a correct combination of prescribed drugs, and 3 Psychiatrists to make my life somewhat tolerable. Alcohol is really the last demon that I have left to contend with, and it has proven much more difficult to shed than any other drug that I have ever taken, and I have been addicted to most at one time or another.. I have to keep faith though, that the next day will be better than today, as that is the only thing that keeps me going. I do not want to give up. I do not want to surrender. I've made it this far, so I really just want to win my battle, and live in peace for awhile. It would be nice.

Click to expand...

Hope is the thing with feathers
that perches in the soul
And sings the tune without the words
And never stops at all.
—Emily Dickinson

freddyc said:

Hang in there, it does get better, there are so many similarities as I read your post I felt as if I was reading an autobiography at times. I'm a few years (4) younger than you and I became a ('Friend of Bill's) in 1992. it was a torturous ride at times but I listened to the 'old timers' and they helped me back on my feet when I needed it. Not sure where you are going through treatment, different facilities offer different style services. I am grateful that I went through when the 'hardass' counselllors were allowed to do what they did best. They delivered what I'd call the Hazeldon model as most of the good counsellors were trained there. I know that a lot of facilities in Canada anyway have changed to a harm reduction model as opposed to the old 'in your face' now tell me the truth and quit bullshitting model. Some say it was abusive, and yes it can be construed that way. I needed it to break through my denial. I will always love them for their melding of harshness when needed and tenderness when required message..... they saved my life. I'm sure some will read this and recall the 'Old Smith'.....not the new one.
I might add it was the scariest thing I did in my life......I'm not religious by any stretch but I do know that a Higher Power helped keep me stumbling along..........

Click to expand...

I have attended AA meetings, many, but what always turned me off were the people that never went through anything in my opinion, to deserve to sit in that seat. Too many wine drinkers. My wife curses at me for that attitude. I once went to a meeting in the Bronx, NY, where I could actually relate to the "combatants" in the room. Then I went back to Westchester, and listened to housewives complain about the agony that drinking 5 glasses of wine caused their families. I am a snob, when it comes to self destructive behavior (LOL) I NEED a prison camp mentality. No bullshit, do it or fucking die by your own hand, or through illness caused by your drinking (which is the leading cause of death for an alcoholic) which is simply a slow form of suicide. I think that a Forum should be created on this site entitled Help Needed for My Head. I actually tried to start one yesterday, but I was so fucked up, I made it a sub topic in the Help section. Pretty funny. Go look, it still might be there. Funny shit. Seriously, I spend a lot of time on this site, we have the anonymity that is provided, why not get some help with our mental struggles? I just let everyone know my shit, and if that helped 1 person, excellent. Yessica, it is a great topic, and I hope it takes off, like it should. Peace out.

I think mainliner needs some serious help. Hes talking to himself with another one of his accounts