Stoner smoking etiquette

Torturedzen

Well-Known Member
I found this at The Vaults Of Erowid and thought it might make for an interesting and humorous read.
(revised only to correct spelling and punctuation)
I hope you all enjoy!

Smoking Etiquette

[the unchecked version]
________________________________________________________________________________

1) the person who rolls the joint (no matter whose weed it is) gets to spark
up the joint and get first hits...

2) if someone rolls a nice joint, its good to give the person a complement
on his rolling skills...

3) if someone starts bogarting the bowl and starts using the xcuse that
its okay for him to bogart it since it's his weed, this is definetely not cool.
the punishment depends on the quality of the weed and how much he put in.
(if it was real crappy and he was real cheap with it, then you bug on the person
and rag on him

4) if someone is too palsy to light the bowl (due to being too stoned or
the person is just a retard then they must relinquish control of the lighter
to someone more able to get it lit. --this does NOT mean the person who
lights gets free hits... this privilege tends to get abused ("hey lemme light
it for you...")

5) if someone is so much of a palsy that they blow INTO the bowl and blow
all the shit on the floor, this person must be ragged on and the person can't
smoke on the next round (unless it was his stuff)

6) if you smoke with someone in your house, you should let them eat some
munchy food you may have lying around.. don't be cheap with you food if you
have food...

7) if someone who's smoked asks for a sip of your soda, you must give him
some.. (dry mouth is not fun)

converse of (7): if you ask for a sip, don't take a large gulp

9) if smoking from a bong or a joint, never put the whole thing in your
mouth and get it all sopping wet.. its disgusting and it messed up the joint.

10) if you're smoking from a bong and there's not enough in the bowl for a whole
other hit, you should save the smoke in the chamber for the next person..(don't
let go of the rushhold or 'carb' and take it all yourself)

11) never bogart

12) never bitch about someone else's weed being no good! If you don't like
it don't smoke it!

13) if a friend gets you high sometime in the future you need to get that
friend high

14) Thou shalt not turn down a smoke. Never!

15) phrased in the form of a narrative:
OK. My buddy and I are sitting around smoking the weed that I just
scored. After flaming-up, and taking a few moderate puffs, I pass
it on. The sounds that follow can only be described as
vacuum-like. After an a couple of huge, lung-busting tokes, the guy
passes back the remnants of something that could have, at some
point, been a joint. If it's not completely "canoed", then it's
absolutely soaked. I not-so-subtly drop that old Cheech&Chong line
"Hey man, can I wring it out for you?" He just looks at me.

16) I have noticed the following: After smoking-up, the odd "crass-
monkey" will actually eat the stained, disgusting roach. This must
be because they want that "extra bit" of oil, resin, or whatever's
left on the paper. This situation can be compared to the patron of
a good restaurant picking up his "as good as empty" plate and
licking off the remaining morsels of food. Sure he got that little
pool of gravy, but was it really worth it?

17) If you buy weed from a friend or a friend of a friend, it is polite to
roll a joint, (a small one, if you wish) and smoke with the person who sells
you the stuff.

18 It is very impolite to hand someone an empty bowl, without notifying
that person of it's possible cashed-ness. A proper warning would be
'Here ya go...I think it might be cashed.

19) The person who fills the bowl is given the opportunity to take the first
hit. It doesn't matter who's bowl it is.

20) Always remember to thank a person who has gotten you high. I know it
sounds silly, but I know people who never say thanks and it gets a little
annoying.

21) The person who brought the bud picks the music.

22) When using a bong, don't slobber all over it.

23) Again, when using a bong, DON'T blow out the ashes, unless that's what
the "homeowner" does.

24) NEVER go to someone's house EXPECTING them to catch you a buzz. Of
course, there are exceptions to this rule...

25) If you spill the bong, clean it up! (And don't forget to put water
back in it!!)

Roach rules
------------
When the roach gets too small, if someone has a problem with it, it is
common courtesy here to put the roach in a bowl and finish it that way..
that way the people who don't mind burning their fingers don't get it all.


 

KushKing949

New Member
i think there should be one more added

who ever takes the first hit from a pipe should corner it and not torch the bowl and so on and so forth so everyone can get greens :peace:
 

Bookworm

Well-Known Member
I hate it when I get passed wet wares. At least you can wipe off glass pipes/bongs, or the mouthpiece of a hookah. But with a joint you don't get that privilege. I try to get a one-on-one smoke with the bad ones as soon as possible so I can teach them proper smoking etiquette, the way one of my friends did with me when I first started smoking.
 

marcbuster

Active Member
nice except with the kids i smoke with.. the order of smoking goes.... person with the weed then the joint/blunt roller (if thats what were smoking from) then the rest of the people call the order they go.
 

madmaty

Well-Known Member
since I only smoke with my girlfriend most times the order goes whoever packed / rolled then the other person but in larger sessions it goes roller/packer passed to the person directly on you left no exceptions and if a person steps out of the "circle" and misses their turn for whatever reason that person has forfited their toke and may not call out of turn for a hoot
 

Bookworm

Well-Known Member
since I only smoke with my girlfriend most times the order goes whoever packed / rolled then the other person but in larger sessions it goes roller/packer passed to the person directly on you left no exceptions and if a person steps out of the "circle" and misses their turn for whatever reason that person has forfited their toke and may not call out of turn for a hoot
ya. hit that in a circle. don't leave til after your toke unless you're willing to forfeit it.
 

Dev

Active Member
Contribution rule, should be unwritten and never cited. It is self enforced. Everyone pitches into a session with what they can. Munchie food, tobacco, DVDs, smoke if you have no money and literately nothing of material value give a hand cleaning the hosts house after a mess is made. Do something, anything, don't be a sponge. If there is nothing you can do and host insists on entertaining you. Be kind and throw some sincere compliments his/her way.

Don't hold a joint and let it burn unless it's undisputedly your joint. Leakage smoke is wasted smoke.
 

HotNSexyMILF

Well-Known Member
Great rules there.

i think there should be one more added

who ever takes the first hit from a pipe should corner it and not torch the bowl and so on and so forth so everyone can get greens :peace:
I second that.. that's how it's always been in the circles I'm in.. leave some sweet tasting green for everyone..

Contribution rule, should be unwritten and never cited. It is self enforced. Everyone pitches into a session with what they can. Munchie food, tobacco, DVDs, smoke if you have no money and literately nothing of material value give a hand cleaning the hosts house after a mess is made. Do something, anything, don't be a sponge. If there is nothing you can do and host insists on entertaining you. Be kind and throw some sincere compliments his/her way.

Don't hold a joint and let it burn unless it's undisputedly your joint. Leakage smoke is wasted smoke.
Mm hm..

We've always followed the rule as well that if you end up holding the bowl for a whilllleee and you're so stoned you FORGET you're holding it (sometimes going as far as asking where the bowl went. lol) You lose your hit in the next round.. lol
 

El Duderino

Active Member
My uncle once told me after rolling one and waiting for the circle to gather:

"Lick it and light it. don't roll it then hide it!"
 

DvC

Active Member
We've always followed the rule as well that if you end up holding the bowl for a whilllleee and you're so stoned you FORGET you're holding it (sometimes going as far as asking where the bowl went. lol) You lose your hit in the next round.. lol

we call it it a microphone if someone has it for a while. they just sitting there and talking into it lol


"testes testes 123" lol
 

Dev

Active Member
we call it it a microphone if someone has it for a while. they just sitting there and talking into it lol


"testes testes 123" lol
Microphone, very witty. :)

I remember I had a mate who rolled a really loose joint when another friend commented "You could fucking fall asleep in that".

Since then anytime someone rolls a loose joint we call them sleeping bags.
 

vag

Active Member
nice except with the kids i smoke with.. the order of smoking goes.... person with the weed then the joint/blunt roller (if thats what were smoking from) then the rest of the people call the order they go.
same sooooon
 

ledgic13

Well-Known Member
real good man.
i dont mind smoking people out.

if i have it i share it.
its all about the love of the smoke
i dont want to keep that away from someone.
 

DvC

Active Member
Microphone, very witty. :)

I remember I had a mate who rolled a really loose joint when another friend commented "You could fucking fall asleep in that".

Since then anytime someone rolls a loose joint we call them sleeping bags.

thats a good one ill use that next time :)
 
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