Torturedzen
Well-Known Member
I found this at The Vaults Of Erowid and thought it might make for an interesting and humorous read.
(revised only to correct spelling and punctuation)
I hope you all enjoy!
Smoking Etiquette
[the unchecked version]
________________________________________________________________________________
1) the person who rolls the joint (no matter whose weed it is) gets to spark
up the joint and get first hits...
2) if someone rolls a nice joint, its good to give the person a complement
on his rolling skills...
3) if someone starts bogarting the bowl and starts using the xcuse that
its okay for him to bogart it since it's his weed, this is definetely not cool.
the punishment depends on the quality of the weed and how much he put in.
(if it was real crappy and he was real cheap with it, then you bug on the person
and rag on him
4) if someone is too palsy to light the bowl (due to being too stoned or
the person is just a retard then they must relinquish control of the lighter
to someone more able to get it lit. --this does NOT mean the person who
lights gets free hits... this privilege tends to get abused ("hey lemme light
it for you...")
5) if someone is so much of a palsy that they blow INTO the bowl and blow
all the shit on the floor, this person must be ragged on and the person can't
smoke on the next round (unless it was his stuff)
6) if you smoke with someone in your house, you should let them eat some
munchy food you may have lying around.. don't be cheap with you food if you
have food...
7) if someone who's smoked asks for a sip of your soda, you must give him
some.. (dry mouth is not fun)
converse of (7): if you ask for a sip, don't take a large gulp
9) if smoking from a bong or a joint, never put the whole thing in your
mouth and get it all sopping wet.. its disgusting and it messed up the joint.
10) if you're smoking from a bong and there's not enough in the bowl for a whole
other hit, you should save the smoke in the chamber for the next person..(don't
let go of the rushhold or 'carb' and take it all yourself)
11) never bogart
12) never bitch about someone else's weed being no good! If you don't like
it don't smoke it!
13) if a friend gets you high sometime in the future you need to get that
friend high
14) Thou shalt not turn down a smoke. Never!
15) phrased in the form of a narrative:
OK. My buddy and I are sitting around smoking the weed that I just
scored. After flaming-up, and taking a few moderate puffs, I pass
it on. The sounds that follow can only be described as
vacuum-like. After an a couple of huge, lung-busting tokes, the guy
passes back the remnants of something that could have, at some
point, been a joint. If it's not completely "canoed", then it's
absolutely soaked. I not-so-subtly drop that old Cheech&Chong line
"Hey man, can I wring it out for you?" He just looks at me.
16) I have noticed the following: After smoking-up, the odd "crass-
monkey" will actually eat the stained, disgusting roach. This must
be because they want that "extra bit" of oil, resin, or whatever's
left on the paper. This situation can be compared to the patron of
a good restaurant picking up his "as good as empty" plate and
licking off the remaining morsels of food. Sure he got that little
pool of gravy, but was it really worth it?
17) If you buy weed from a friend or a friend of a friend, it is polite to
roll a joint, (a small one, if you wish) and smoke with the person who sells
you the stuff.
18 It is very impolite to hand someone an empty bowl, without notifying
that person of it's possible cashed-ness. A proper warning would be
'Here ya go...I think it might be cashed.
19) The person who fills the bowl is given the opportunity to take the first
hit. It doesn't matter who's bowl it is.
20) Always remember to thank a person who has gotten you high. I know it
sounds silly, but I know people who never say thanks and it gets a little
annoying.
21) The person who brought the bud picks the music.
22) When using a bong, don't slobber all over it.
23) Again, when using a bong, DON'T blow out the ashes, unless that's what
the "homeowner" does.
24) NEVER go to someone's house EXPECTING them to catch you a buzz. Of
course, there are exceptions to this rule...
25) If you spill the bong, clean it up! (And don't forget to put water
back in it!!)
Roach rules
------------
When the roach gets too small, if someone has a problem with it, it is
common courtesy here to put the roach in a bowl and finish it that way..
that way the people who don't mind burning their fingers don't get it all.
(revised only to correct spelling and punctuation)
I hope you all enjoy!
Smoking Etiquette
[the unchecked version]
________________________________________________________________________________
1) the person who rolls the joint (no matter whose weed it is) gets to spark
up the joint and get first hits...
2) if someone rolls a nice joint, its good to give the person a complement
on his rolling skills...
3) if someone starts bogarting the bowl and starts using the xcuse that
its okay for him to bogart it since it's his weed, this is definetely not cool.
the punishment depends on the quality of the weed and how much he put in.
(if it was real crappy and he was real cheap with it, then you bug on the person
and rag on him
4) if someone is too palsy to light the bowl (due to being too stoned or
the person is just a retard then they must relinquish control of the lighter
to someone more able to get it lit. --this does NOT mean the person who
lights gets free hits... this privilege tends to get abused ("hey lemme light
it for you...")
5) if someone is so much of a palsy that they blow INTO the bowl and blow
all the shit on the floor, this person must be ragged on and the person can't
smoke on the next round (unless it was his stuff)
6) if you smoke with someone in your house, you should let them eat some
munchy food you may have lying around.. don't be cheap with you food if you
have food...
7) if someone who's smoked asks for a sip of your soda, you must give him
some.. (dry mouth is not fun)
converse of (7): if you ask for a sip, don't take a large gulp
9) if smoking from a bong or a joint, never put the whole thing in your
mouth and get it all sopping wet.. its disgusting and it messed up the joint.
10) if you're smoking from a bong and there's not enough in the bowl for a whole
other hit, you should save the smoke in the chamber for the next person..(don't
let go of the rushhold or 'carb' and take it all yourself)
11) never bogart
12) never bitch about someone else's weed being no good! If you don't like
it don't smoke it!
13) if a friend gets you high sometime in the future you need to get that
friend high
14) Thou shalt not turn down a smoke. Never!
15) phrased in the form of a narrative:
OK. My buddy and I are sitting around smoking the weed that I just
scored. After flaming-up, and taking a few moderate puffs, I pass
it on. The sounds that follow can only be described as
vacuum-like. After an a couple of huge, lung-busting tokes, the guy
passes back the remnants of something that could have, at some
point, been a joint. If it's not completely "canoed", then it's
absolutely soaked. I not-so-subtly drop that old Cheech&Chong line
"Hey man, can I wring it out for you?" He just looks at me.
16) I have noticed the following: After smoking-up, the odd "crass-
monkey" will actually eat the stained, disgusting roach. This must
be because they want that "extra bit" of oil, resin, or whatever's
left on the paper. This situation can be compared to the patron of
a good restaurant picking up his "as good as empty" plate and
licking off the remaining morsels of food. Sure he got that little
pool of gravy, but was it really worth it?
17) If you buy weed from a friend or a friend of a friend, it is polite to
roll a joint, (a small one, if you wish) and smoke with the person who sells
you the stuff.
18 It is very impolite to hand someone an empty bowl, without notifying
that person of it's possible cashed-ness. A proper warning would be
'Here ya go...I think it might be cashed.
19) The person who fills the bowl is given the opportunity to take the first
hit. It doesn't matter who's bowl it is.
20) Always remember to thank a person who has gotten you high. I know it
sounds silly, but I know people who never say thanks and it gets a little
annoying.
21) The person who brought the bud picks the music.
22) When using a bong, don't slobber all over it.
23) Again, when using a bong, DON'T blow out the ashes, unless that's what
the "homeowner" does.
24) NEVER go to someone's house EXPECTING them to catch you a buzz. Of
course, there are exceptions to this rule...
25) If you spill the bong, clean it up! (And don't forget to put water
back in it!!)
Roach rules
------------
When the roach gets too small, if someone has a problem with it, it is
common courtesy here to put the roach in a bowl and finish it that way..
that way the people who don't mind burning their fingers don't get it all.
