stems and leaves

just made my first harvest, wat should i do with the leaves and stems? make cannabutter or somthin? do i have to dry them b4 i cook with them? or what

I made cannabutter from my trim. I threw out the large fan leaves.
I dried it first, then ran it through the magic bullet to grind it up into a course powder. I think it mixes with the butter better for maximum absorption if it's ground up and it's hard to grind up if it's wet. So, to answer your question, I think you can use it wet, but would be better ground up and dry.

It has been said before, but bears repeating, be careful with the edibles. I made 2 cups of butter and used 1/2 cup to make cookies, then ate just 1 cookie. It got me higher than I have ever been, which was not fun. I was completely out of it.
However you eat it, start with an amount smaller than what you think will work and work up from there if you want more. The high from eating peaks at about 1 1/2 hours for me.

how dry does the trim need to be?

Dry enough to grind up reasonably well. probably good to go after 3 days of drying

What's the most effective way of drying the stems?

Don't use the stems. For as little thc they contain, it isn't worth it. 1 bud probably has more thc in it than all of the stems on the plant combined. They don't taste good either, at all.