After one of the biggest mushroom doses I've ever taken, i came to the conclusion that i merely pretend to have emotion, that i really don't feel any...
But that's just silly, because off of mushrooms, i do. I was just tripping really REALLY hard.
It's weird though, my girlfriend lives about 3 hours away, every time i go see her or she comes to see me, when we are saying good bye she cries. Something i just don't understand, i wonder why i don't feel so intensely about it as she does. Sometimes i wish i could feel more emotion, sometimes i wish i had less control over my emotions. But it is what it is... can't really change it now.
I think, depending on how much control we have over our emotions, will dictate our perceptions about life in many different ways. I've found out over the years, that most people i know that do not have much control over them, tend to be more superstitious than those who do.
Every once in a while, ill just give into a good cry, when consciousness and awareness take their tole on me, and existence just seems like too much sometimes. Sometimes i just get sad because i can't stop thinking about the millions of people in the world that are struggling, while im sitting here with more than i could have ever imagined, on my computer, being lazy and comfortable while others are suffering... it makes me feel guilty.
Good question Hep, made me think long and hard. Excited to see you on the ps3 soon, can't wait to fuck up some zombies with ya on some call of duty bro. Thanks again, great question.
On a side note... is it weird, that whenever i tell someone i love them, i don't even know what the fuck that means?
