My mom is a Douche...

Biggravy22

Biggravy22

Well-Known Member
So for the last two years I've been doing the career thing. So I saw my folks sparingly at that time. I've missed Birthdays, and holidays and while I feel content with my decision I still feel bad that I haven't given them the attention they crave, or desire. So I was saying this year would be different, and I'd try to make certain events. So I tell my dad, and younger brother I'm coming home for mothers day. They tell my mother in excitment and her response was. "He hasn't been here for the last two years, why should I care if he comes this year?". Now i'm 27, and 25 of those 27 years I've been there for mothers day. I didn't neglect her, always send her a card/gift but now since I CAN make it, it's not good enough. Damned if you do. Damned if you don't. So now my position is why in the hell should I go now? It's gonna be a bullshit racket, and she wont appreciate the fact that I'm there.

What to do...what to do?
 
Biggravy22

Biggravy22

Well-Known Member
fdd2blk said:
sounds like all our parents were raised from the same book. =/
Click to expand...
my biggest issue now is how don't I follow that same book. I want to be different. I don't want to discourage the people I love from spending time with me because of my pointless self loathing
 
notoriousb

notoriousb

Well-Known Member
Mother's Day is a big one for moms. I think she's got that hard cynical front on for now, but when you get there, I'm sure she'll be more than happy that you decided to show.
 
T

Tryingtomastrkush

Well-Known Member
You know in my opinion the whole "kill them with kindness" would be a good route to go.

My mother is the same way even if I don't send a thank you card for something she sent me I get put out of the loop for a year until I apologize.

The thing is though my mother raised me and if it wasn't for her I wouldn't be the man I am today so I find it pretty easy to just shrug off the bullshit she spews sometimes and "kill her with kindness".

I say go and see her for mothers day and be the sweetest son shes ever met....no mother can stay angry at that :bigjoint:
 
Drio

Drio

Well-Known Member
Bake her some THC cookies and you'll get love ;)

Just dont tell her :0

-

You should most definitely go though! Mothers day is mothers day -_-

Shell be smiling more than a scoring junkie once ya walk through that door :P
 
Johnnyorganic

Johnnyorganic

Well-Known Member
Biggravy22 said:
So for the last two years I've been doing the career thing. So I saw my folks sparingly at that time. I've missed Birthdays, and holidays and while I feel content with my decision I still feel bad that I haven't given them the attention they crave, or desire. So I was saying this year would be different, and I'd try to make certain events. So I tell my dad, and younger brother I'm coming home for mothers day. They tell my mother in excitment and her response was. "He hasn't been here for the last two years, why should I care if he comes this year?". Now i'm 27, and 25 of those 27 years I've been there for mothers day. I didn't neglect her, always send her a card/gift but now since I CAN make it, it's not good enough. Damned if you do. Damned if you don't. So now my position is why in the hell should I go now? It's gonna be a bullshit racket, and she wont appreciate the fact that I'm there.

What to do...what to do?
Click to expand...
She said she does not care. Verify from her she said said it and then go see your grandmother instead. Or go to a nursing home and see someone else's mother who would surely appreciate a visit.

Whatever you do, do not let your own mother manipulate you. If she wants to be a douche, let her have her pity party alone.
 
Biggravy22

Biggravy22

Well-Known Member
Johnnyorganic said:
She said she does not care. Verify from her she said said it and then go see your grandmother instead. Or go to a nursing home and see someone else's mother who would surely appreciate a visit.

Whatever you do, do not let your own mother manipulate you. If she wants to be a douche, let her have her pity party alone.
Click to expand...

I'm with you on that. She's always throwing a one-woman pity party for the most absurd of reasons. To be honest I'm sick of it. I've let her wayward emotions manipulate my behavior many many times, and If I don't go she'll hit me with one of those "You'll miss me when I'm gone" phone calls. I have too much going on to deal with this type of stress. I love my mother dearly, but I don't know if I can deal with all the BS that comes with it.
 
Biggravy22

Biggravy22

Well-Known Member
You guys have to understand killing my mother with kindness does not work. She'll think I came to make her happy and not because I wanted too. She'll trivialize the whole day. So if I do go...I'm almost guaranteed an hour or so of tension.
 
Johnnyorganic

Johnnyorganic

Well-Known Member
Biggravy22 said:
I'm with you on that. She's always throwing a one-woman pity party for the most absurd of reasons. To be honest I'm sick of it. I've let her wayward emotions manipulate my behavior many many times, and If I don't go she'll hit me with one of those "You'll miss me when I'm gone" phone calls. I have too much going on to deal with this type of stress. I love my mother dearly, but I don't know if I can deal with all the BS that comes with it.
Click to expand...
LOL! The next time she hits you with that 'You'll miss me when I'm gone" bullshit; without missing a beat say, "I don't see that happening, Mom. The way you behave I sure as hell don't miss you now."
 
Biggravy22

Biggravy22

Well-Known Member
Johnnyorganic said:
LOL! The next time she hits you with that 'You'll miss me when I'm gone" bullshit; without missing a beat say, "I don't see that happening, Mom. The way you behave I sure as hell don't miss you now."
Click to expand...

Now that's a death blow If I've ever heard one. Have you had a similar experience in the past with your mom?
 
timsatx1

timsatx1

Well-Known Member
i think you should go. she misses you thats all.and thats prbably her way of telling you that
 
Johnnyorganic

Johnnyorganic

Well-Known Member
Actually, no. But I have plenty of experience in dealing with toxic, manipulative women.

My Momma is the sweetest lady. I think of all the hell I put her through when I was younger. I was ordering her Mother's Day corsage yesterday and was thinking just that.

When I see her Sunday I will give her an extra hug just based on this thread. I won't tell her the source, but I will tell her I am aware of other mothers who are not as gracious and sweet as her.
 
Biggravy22

Biggravy22

Well-Known Member
Johnnyorganic said:
Actually, no. But I have plenty of experience in dealing with toxic, manipulative women.

My Momma is the sweetest lady. I think of all the hell I put her through when I was younger. I was ordering her Mother's Day corsage yesterday and was thinking just that.

When I see her Sunday I will give her an extra hug just based on this thread. I won't tell her the source, but I will tell her I am aware of other mothers who are not as gracious and sweet as her.
Click to expand...

See and I've never given my mother any hell. I just don't live my life the way she thinks I'm supposed too. Don't get me wrong she has her strong points, and she's not the Devil perse' she's just spoiled. I'm gonna go over there, I just don't wanna hear it. Let's just enjoy your day and we can go home.
 
jfgordon1

jfgordon1

Well-Known Member
That is mean by her. but deep inside she wants you there. You should definitely go... life's too short to be mad at loved ones. RUN to her Gravey... and give her a BIG HUG and KISS lol
 
Louis541

Louis541

Well-Known Member
That's your mom dude. You need to love her un-conditionally. Be there for her birthday, if not for her, then for you. She raised you for the first 20 years of your life, and it seems like she did a pretty good job, I think she's earned the right to be a bitch every now and then.
 
poplars

poplars

Well-Known Member
I'm torn with this. from what I've heard I would have wrote it off and said fuck that.

but when i think about the general progression of life, I would think it would be better to make an attempt to fix this instead of allowing it to spiral further into more bullshit.

one day of potential hell? or a lifetime of wondering?
 
Biggravy22

Biggravy22

Well-Known Member
poplars said:
I'm torn with this. from what I've heard I would have wrote it off and said fuck that.

but when i think about the general progression of life, I would think it would be better to make an attempt to fix this instead of allowing it to spiral further into more bullshit.

one day of potential hell? or a lifetime of wondering?
Click to expand...

You know,you're a pretty deep dude. You're right. I wouldn't be able to live with myself knowing I consciously contributed to the unraveling of our relationship. I'll just have to take the risk.
 
You must log in or register to reply here.
Top