**Note from after I wrote this......alright I know there's alotta rambling in this set of instructions, and it's badly written, cause i'm really high. but just read it and you'll be glad you did, it works, and its as close to being 100% sure your gonna pass the mofo*
alright I see alot of bad advice on here. so i'm just gonna tell you a flat out no BS way of gettin er done, i've done this lots of times, probally around 10, and everytime worked like a charm, it's 100% sure way if you do it right.
1. Get someone's clean piss(male, female, adult, toddler, doesnt matter. i used a pregnant chicks piss a few times. there just lookin for the dope.)
2. Get a baby food jar, i've used small ones before and always have been dead on the line they ask you to fill. but i've always meant to get a little bit of a bigger baby jar incase the line goes higher one day.
get the piss in the baby food jar.
3. get some tight tighty whitey's, like smaller size then you should so there pretty tight, this ensures that jars not gonna fall out, it's a little un comfrontable but worth it, I remember crotching a condom one time(and this is why i dont use the condom no more), and crotching it while sitting down and standing back up is a little difficult, and i lost it while standing up right when the doc came out and called me, it fell down my leg, at first I grabbed at my leg like I had a cramp, then some how quickly thought of bending down acting like i'm tieing my shoe, then stuffed my pant leg into my shoe. lol the doc gave me some funny looks but still let me threw. because it was waiting at the bottom of my pant leg, it cooled down too actually, and wasnt warm enough, they told me about this, and said by law im allowed to come back one more time, but thats it the chick doc was cool about it though. so i went got more piss, and this time used the baby jar, grabbed one of those "electric" one click lighters from the gas station, and when I came back it was a diffrent doc btw, so made me less nervous. but anyway, i had the baby jar crotched, went in the bathroom, the sinks are covered of course, just to let u know they always are. so then I actually took a electric themometer in with me, cause I really wanted this job and had to be sure, and took a lighter and heated the bottom of the jar up, for adsactly 12 seconds, that just sounded right to me so I tried that at first, and it did get the piss up to 100 degree's, perfect even if it cooled down some while I was crotching the jar it'd still be cool. the range it needs to be in is between 94-105 or 106 or somthin.
but dont bring the themometer, its unnessacary, i've done this exact method about 6 times, I only brang the themometer that one time, just heat it up for around 12 seconds, you want the jar to be nice and warm and thats all u gotta worry about. obvously though if you let the jar get really cold, it's gonna need longer, so make sure you keep the jar warm by crotching it dureing the car ride or throwing it on the heating vent.
well when you got the jar heated up just pour that bad boy in the cup they give you, crotch the empty jar, put the lighter in your pocket, and you just got er done with absolutely no question or wondering for the next few days. (enless your not to sure if your buddy really was clean for months like he said)
Now there's people who say screw that just use the condom, cause the jar is kinda unconfrontable, but to me the condom isnt reliable for this, like i said it fell down my leg before, and even when you do get it in you gotta be very careful not to spill that shit everywhere when your cutting the knot open, or poking a hole with a pin into it to drain i was worried of popping the thing and it explodeing like a water baloon. plus your already a little shakey cause you are doing something bad and ilegal. haha funny story actually, because I got anxiety problems, and everytime I shake when I do this, but one time for some reason I was really shakeing probally because I was really high and a little paranoid and I think cause the doc was a bitch and I dunno just had me nervous, like I said I got anxiety, and when I was walking out with the cup to give to her, I was shakeing so bad while I was handing it to her and actully spilled some on her hand. hahaha then I had to try so hard not to laugh, and she's like "ahhh fuckin shit.....this is your piss right?" and i was like yeah yeah, so she washes her hands quickly and very pissed off and she just quickly writes somthing on it caps it, finishes her paperwork on it and said you can go now. haha she just wanted me the hell outta there because she knew I was dieing inside from trying to hold back my laughter, and it was pissing her off that I found it funny.
so anyways I use the baby jar now, and it's been much easier. because along with the condom by the way you u need to bring a damn baggie to put it in when ur done, cause ur not allowed to flush the toilet, so you gotta carry it out, and you dont want that shit leaking on you.
and the jar's easier to pour like I said. so pretty much,
here's the short check list,
1.Get piss filled Baby food jar,
2.crotch it with a pair of very tighty whitey's to be sure you won't loose it.(btw sure you dont really need them, but when you have them you can jump around and do jumping jacks and that jar's not going no where, it's secured.)
3.goto test, take One click lighter(one-click so they dont hear a the distinct grinding sound of the wheel lighters.) heat flame directly on bottom of glass for around 12 seconds or intill jar feels warm.
4. pour into cup, pocket lighter, crotch jar, bring cup out, try not to shake.
Hey ... The certo does work I've used it too... So does the new quick fizz...
