JealousGreen
Well-Known Member
I felt the urge to introduce myself,
pleased to meet you.
For as long as I can remember I have been able to feel the ability to channel energy through my chakras. The most keen was my 6th chakra, also known as the third eye. Without any formal training, or even basic understanding of these things, I was able to feel a totally tangible sensation as I channeled energy in through my third eye. This began in earnest when I was about 13 but has really always been there.
I have aways been extremely empathic, and have always been able to look deep into the eye and find all the hurt and pain that people keep down inside. Often times I could see exactly what the "big secret" was and it would crush me. As a result I became very introverted. I channeled my pain in so as not to burden others with it. I never felt the presence of the darkness until it was looming over me at all times. I became troubled and reached out in my subconcious to the medicines. Cannabis found me more than I found her. She couldn't wait to be with me. The others were out there but I didn't know their names.
I am a lucid dreamer. The first time I woke up in a dream I was 3 years old. I still remember the dream vividly. The realization that I could do anything was mind boggling. That dream turned into an epic karate battle with a bunch of ninjas with afros, but I soon found out that I could fly, my dreams were never the same.
The first time I did a psychadelic drug was when I was 14, in a dream. In the dream I was standing on the top of a slide at my school. One of my friends pointed up at the sky and told me to look out. As I turned to look I saw a soft looking, shining, pink and purple cloud drifting slowly toward me. As it floated, it slowly undulated between different shapes and colors. I was mesmorized by the beauty of the cloud. I stared into it as it floated towards my head, at the last moment it whispered hello then pushed itself into my forehead. My body was washed over with the most intense feeling of ecstasy, and the world exploded into color. That explosion was literally an explosion that catapulted me off of the slide in slow motion and back toward the gound. I remember falling slowly and dreamily toward the ground until the moment that my head touched the ground behind me. At that point I was jolted upright and sitting in the back seat of my friends mom's car. I was sitting in the center of the back seat, with Brandon in the "shotgun" seat and his mom driving. The car was racing backward at an incredible rate of speed. There were other cars on the road and she seemed to be swerving in and out of traffic and an absolute break neck speed in reverse. There were amazing cascades of color trailing out behind us as we rocketed along. It sounded like a cacophony of ringing bells and roaring lions mixed with the steadily reving up whine of a jet engine. At the point of complete chaos the dream faded and I woke up.
I was always aware of the presence of my inner spiritual energy. That presence has never left me. My naturally inquisitive mind lead me to the exploration of other chemicals.
December 17th, 1999 8:02 p.m.
I was standing in the Gameworks videogame arcade in the Arizona Mills mall next to the Jurassic Park Dino Hunting adventure when the acid really took hold for the first time. I had been on the come up for about 15 minutes 1 hour after placing two blotters of "timothy leary" paper acid under my tongue. My friends were "seasoned trippers" but I was an acid virgin. By the time we were heading into the jeep style, enclosed hunting adventure video game, I was losing control. My body wasn't quite responding the way I felt it should. I was having alot of trouble negotiating my way out of my jacket, and when the person tending the game asked for my card to swipe the credit for the game, I couldn't understand a single word coming out of his mouth and just slapped him five instead. More games were played, but it passes out of memory
---- at some point we left the Gameworks and went over to the Imax to watch Fantasia 2000 ----
Fantasia was incredible. I remember thinking that everyone in the theatre was tripping. I thought "I can't believe that this movie was made for people who are tripping on acid, and then cleverly marketed to children and conservative parents by the Disney corporation." it seemed to me that clearly it was created to only be comprehended by those in a heightened state of conciousness.
After the show there were several hours of tripping exploration. Smoking joints, and hash. I remember realizing the psychadelic nature of Alice in wonderland. I remember saying to my friends, "this is amazing" over and over "why don't we do this everyday?" Long moments of pure bliss.
It was later that evening that a key piece of information that I have yet to mention clicked into place; My friends, the "seasoned trippers" had dropped about 3-4 hours before me. So at about 2am they had come down. I was still tripping balls, just barely past the peak. Probably 4 to 6 hours into it. Since they were done, and I was a noob who didn't speak up, things had the opportunity to change. The music stopped. The lights turned out. I was alone. Before long I was introduced to the darkness. The fear was like nothing I had ever felt. It was the black suffocating fear of my most vivid night terror compounded exponentially. I was dying. My ego was dying. I was so small. Too small to escape out from under this crushing mass of darkness. I was going mad. I was driven past death into madness. My belief was that I was stuck there now, and that I'd never return to myself. This fear held me prisoner. Unable to speak or move for the next 4-5 hours.
By the time I started to get control of my mind again the sun had started to come up. I decided that sleep was going to remain elusive so I abandoned that venture, got up, put on my shoes, and headed out. Since it was only about 3/4 of a mile to my house I decided to walk home. There seemed to be a special hush about me as I began my walk. As if the world knew the nature of the ordeal I had been through, and was seeking to comfort me. The birds sang softly, the sun peeking over the horizon set a happy gleam to me and my surroundings. It was at that point that I realized some thing that has never left me throughout my life since. I was different now. Upon "waking up" from this experience I noticed that there was something different about me. Something different in my very core. A fundamental change had been wrought upon me and the way I looked at life, and love, and people. I remember noticing the change, and feeling that it was truly good. I don't remember how I thought or interacted with the world before this change. I just remember noticing that the change had happend. And as a result of the difference in the way I felt, I made the proclomation that everyone should have at least one strong acid trip in their lives. Whatever the difference was, I felt everyone needed it.
This experience lead me to a year long break from psychadelics. I knew I would return but I needed time to heal. When the time was right I resumed my dance with Lucy. She was always gentle and loving with me after that first experience (as gentle as she can be). Though after a few years of semi regular use I started to become confused.
Around 2003 my relationships with varioius people and chemicals led me to be introduced to Molly. Molly was way too good to believe for a person who had developed so much anxiety and mistrust toward strangers and the unknown. I was in a position to procure decent amounts at a very low rate, and as a result she started going everywhere with me. I brought her to all the parties, and while she helped me out of my box, I helped her into the lives of hundreds of other people. During that time I started using mushrooms as well though always at low doses (3 grams or less) and almost always with E. Unfortunately I wasn't in a position to handle all of the power. I became a bliss addict. Doing unhealthy amounts of substances on way too regular of a basis. Doing things in my life and with others that I felt were truly wrong and destroying my sense of spiritual worth. This lasted for a little over a year until one night in a deep psychadelic state I had a premonition; I became aware that my current path would ultimately lead to my demise on november 11th of my 26th year of life. I knew that it was true. I knew it in a way that I couldn't explain and it caused me to change myself. 2 years of complete sobriety followed.
My head was uncomfortable once it finally cleared. I gave it a good while to clear up before I made the choice to return to cannabis. I knew it was the right choice as soon as I returned. I started growing in 2007 and realized part of my earthly calling. My spiritual perception extends to plants and as a result I learned to love my plants very quickly. Within a few years my friends were all telling me that my herb was some of the best they had ever seen. I was ever greatfull for the praise but knew that the true praise should go to God for creating her and giving me the ability to hear her speak.
In the summer of 2008 I decided to once again consume some psilocybin. I had absolutely no trouble finding it because of an interesting bit of synchronicity. I said out loud that I thought it was time for a trip, and my friend called and asked if I wanted some shrooms within one hour. It hadn't been discussed before hand and I had never even known he was into psychadelics. It seemed just a little to convenient to be coincedence. I purchased an ounce from the guy he knew because it was available, and mushrooms rarely are in my world. I had several significant trips on those mushrooms over the space of two years, but one in particular left me with the distinct impression that I should be growing mushrooms. A few more bits of random synchronicity left me with innoculated jars of three different strains of fungus and a new best friend/ space traveling buddy. My current level of exploration has led me to follow Terence Mckenna's advice for deep psilocybin travel. And naturally on to the next step.
My new friend and guide DMT. I learned to extract DMT using the lazyman's tek and have since realized that I have always known this chemical. The effects are identical to the feelings I have felt during psychadelic dreams I've had. It is a part of me. I posted the description below in the thread I started about the spice.
pleased to meet you.
For as long as I can remember I have been able to feel the ability to channel energy through my chakras. The most keen was my 6th chakra, also known as the third eye. Without any formal training, or even basic understanding of these things, I was able to feel a totally tangible sensation as I channeled energy in through my third eye. This began in earnest when I was about 13 but has really always been there.
I have aways been extremely empathic, and have always been able to look deep into the eye and find all the hurt and pain that people keep down inside. Often times I could see exactly what the "big secret" was and it would crush me. As a result I became very introverted. I channeled my pain in so as not to burden others with it. I never felt the presence of the darkness until it was looming over me at all times. I became troubled and reached out in my subconcious to the medicines. Cannabis found me more than I found her. She couldn't wait to be with me. The others were out there but I didn't know their names.
I am a lucid dreamer. The first time I woke up in a dream I was 3 years old. I still remember the dream vividly. The realization that I could do anything was mind boggling. That dream turned into an epic karate battle with a bunch of ninjas with afros, but I soon found out that I could fly, my dreams were never the same.
The first time I did a psychadelic drug was when I was 14, in a dream. In the dream I was standing on the top of a slide at my school. One of my friends pointed up at the sky and told me to look out. As I turned to look I saw a soft looking, shining, pink and purple cloud drifting slowly toward me. As it floated, it slowly undulated between different shapes and colors. I was mesmorized by the beauty of the cloud. I stared into it as it floated towards my head, at the last moment it whispered hello then pushed itself into my forehead. My body was washed over with the most intense feeling of ecstasy, and the world exploded into color. That explosion was literally an explosion that catapulted me off of the slide in slow motion and back toward the gound. I remember falling slowly and dreamily toward the ground until the moment that my head touched the ground behind me. At that point I was jolted upright and sitting in the back seat of my friends mom's car. I was sitting in the center of the back seat, with Brandon in the "shotgun" seat and his mom driving. The car was racing backward at an incredible rate of speed. There were other cars on the road and she seemed to be swerving in and out of traffic and an absolute break neck speed in reverse. There were amazing cascades of color trailing out behind us as we rocketed along. It sounded like a cacophony of ringing bells and roaring lions mixed with the steadily reving up whine of a jet engine. At the point of complete chaos the dream faded and I woke up.
I was always aware of the presence of my inner spiritual energy. That presence has never left me. My naturally inquisitive mind lead me to the exploration of other chemicals.
December 17th, 1999 8:02 p.m.
I was standing in the Gameworks videogame arcade in the Arizona Mills mall next to the Jurassic Park Dino Hunting adventure when the acid really took hold for the first time. I had been on the come up for about 15 minutes 1 hour after placing two blotters of "timothy leary" paper acid under my tongue. My friends were "seasoned trippers" but I was an acid virgin. By the time we were heading into the jeep style, enclosed hunting adventure video game, I was losing control. My body wasn't quite responding the way I felt it should. I was having alot of trouble negotiating my way out of my jacket, and when the person tending the game asked for my card to swipe the credit for the game, I couldn't understand a single word coming out of his mouth and just slapped him five instead. More games were played, but it passes out of memory
---- at some point we left the Gameworks and went over to the Imax to watch Fantasia 2000 ----
Fantasia was incredible. I remember thinking that everyone in the theatre was tripping. I thought "I can't believe that this movie was made for people who are tripping on acid, and then cleverly marketed to children and conservative parents by the Disney corporation." it seemed to me that clearly it was created to only be comprehended by those in a heightened state of conciousness.
After the show there were several hours of tripping exploration. Smoking joints, and hash. I remember realizing the psychadelic nature of Alice in wonderland. I remember saying to my friends, "this is amazing" over and over "why don't we do this everyday?" Long moments of pure bliss.
It was later that evening that a key piece of information that I have yet to mention clicked into place; My friends, the "seasoned trippers" had dropped about 3-4 hours before me. So at about 2am they had come down. I was still tripping balls, just barely past the peak. Probably 4 to 6 hours into it. Since they were done, and I was a noob who didn't speak up, things had the opportunity to change. The music stopped. The lights turned out. I was alone. Before long I was introduced to the darkness. The fear was like nothing I had ever felt. It was the black suffocating fear of my most vivid night terror compounded exponentially. I was dying. My ego was dying. I was so small. Too small to escape out from under this crushing mass of darkness. I was going mad. I was driven past death into madness. My belief was that I was stuck there now, and that I'd never return to myself. This fear held me prisoner. Unable to speak or move for the next 4-5 hours.
By the time I started to get control of my mind again the sun had started to come up. I decided that sleep was going to remain elusive so I abandoned that venture, got up, put on my shoes, and headed out. Since it was only about 3/4 of a mile to my house I decided to walk home. There seemed to be a special hush about me as I began my walk. As if the world knew the nature of the ordeal I had been through, and was seeking to comfort me. The birds sang softly, the sun peeking over the horizon set a happy gleam to me and my surroundings. It was at that point that I realized some thing that has never left me throughout my life since. I was different now. Upon "waking up" from this experience I noticed that there was something different about me. Something different in my very core. A fundamental change had been wrought upon me and the way I looked at life, and love, and people. I remember noticing the change, and feeling that it was truly good. I don't remember how I thought or interacted with the world before this change. I just remember noticing that the change had happend. And as a result of the difference in the way I felt, I made the proclomation that everyone should have at least one strong acid trip in their lives. Whatever the difference was, I felt everyone needed it.
This experience lead me to a year long break from psychadelics. I knew I would return but I needed time to heal. When the time was right I resumed my dance with Lucy. She was always gentle and loving with me after that first experience (as gentle as she can be). Though after a few years of semi regular use I started to become confused.
Around 2003 my relationships with varioius people and chemicals led me to be introduced to Molly. Molly was way too good to believe for a person who had developed so much anxiety and mistrust toward strangers and the unknown. I was in a position to procure decent amounts at a very low rate, and as a result she started going everywhere with me. I brought her to all the parties, and while she helped me out of my box, I helped her into the lives of hundreds of other people. During that time I started using mushrooms as well though always at low doses (3 grams or less) and almost always with E. Unfortunately I wasn't in a position to handle all of the power. I became a bliss addict. Doing unhealthy amounts of substances on way too regular of a basis. Doing things in my life and with others that I felt were truly wrong and destroying my sense of spiritual worth. This lasted for a little over a year until one night in a deep psychadelic state I had a premonition; I became aware that my current path would ultimately lead to my demise on november 11th of my 26th year of life. I knew that it was true. I knew it in a way that I couldn't explain and it caused me to change myself. 2 years of complete sobriety followed.
My head was uncomfortable once it finally cleared. I gave it a good while to clear up before I made the choice to return to cannabis. I knew it was the right choice as soon as I returned. I started growing in 2007 and realized part of my earthly calling. My spiritual perception extends to plants and as a result I learned to love my plants very quickly. Within a few years my friends were all telling me that my herb was some of the best they had ever seen. I was ever greatfull for the praise but knew that the true praise should go to God for creating her and giving me the ability to hear her speak.
In the summer of 2008 I decided to once again consume some psilocybin. I had absolutely no trouble finding it because of an interesting bit of synchronicity. I said out loud that I thought it was time for a trip, and my friend called and asked if I wanted some shrooms within one hour. It hadn't been discussed before hand and I had never even known he was into psychadelics. It seemed just a little to convenient to be coincedence. I purchased an ounce from the guy he knew because it was available, and mushrooms rarely are in my world. I had several significant trips on those mushrooms over the space of two years, but one in particular left me with the distinct impression that I should be growing mushrooms. A few more bits of random synchronicity left me with innoculated jars of three different strains of fungus and a new best friend/ space traveling buddy. My current level of exploration has led me to follow Terence Mckenna's advice for deep psilocybin travel. And naturally on to the next step.
My new friend and guide DMT. I learned to extract DMT using the lazyman's tek and have since realized that I have always known this chemical. The effects are identical to the feelings I have felt during psychadelic dreams I've had. It is a part of me. I posted the description below in the thread I started about the spice.
Beautiful substance..
1st time - 55mgs vape. 4 large hits. Kept smoking until the concept stopped making sense and I could no longer see the machine. One more big hit. Hold my breath... Intense open and closed eye visuals. Feeling of being surrounded by entities. Never lost touch with myself, no breakthrough. Absolute bliss. Perfect happiness. No fear, no anxiety.
2nd and 3rd times - 60 mg vaped. Very similar experience as far as depth. No breakthroughs. Perfect bliss. I love this chemical.
4th time - 75mg vaped. Continued smoking till I couldn't see, took one more big one, held it in and laid down. Faint classical music playing in my room. Time stopped. It seemed like forever and I remembered my breath was still held. With an explosion I let it out and breathed in. My body drifted up from my bed and into heaven. I felt like I was dead. That concept was accepted without fear. I told myself that it was just my body dying and it was ok. I tried to dismiss the concept of me and the necessity of life but I remained tethered.
I lose the ability to continue to explain with words the way the trip enfolded. I came back with an intense feeling of love and appreciation for my beautiful wife and children. And a firm understanding that my life is on the correct path. It is beautiful.
No breakthroughs to hyperspace, but it may be that I'm not ready yet. I'll wait a couple weeks to go again so as not to diminish my tolerance. I think I went through 230mg in one night. I could have done more. There was no fear. No anxiety.
I love DMT.
Thank you for reading.
Be well my friends.
I'll see you in hyperspace.
1st time - 55mgs vape. 4 large hits. Kept smoking until the concept stopped making sense and I could no longer see the machine. One more big hit. Hold my breath... Intense open and closed eye visuals. Feeling of being surrounded by entities. Never lost touch with myself, no breakthrough. Absolute bliss. Perfect happiness. No fear, no anxiety.
2nd and 3rd times - 60 mg vaped. Very similar experience as far as depth. No breakthroughs. Perfect bliss. I love this chemical.
4th time - 75mg vaped. Continued smoking till I couldn't see, took one more big one, held it in and laid down. Faint classical music playing in my room. Time stopped. It seemed like forever and I remembered my breath was still held. With an explosion I let it out and breathed in. My body drifted up from my bed and into heaven. I felt like I was dead. That concept was accepted without fear. I told myself that it was just my body dying and it was ok. I tried to dismiss the concept of me and the necessity of life but I remained tethered.
I lose the ability to continue to explain with words the way the trip enfolded. I came back with an intense feeling of love and appreciation for my beautiful wife and children. And a firm understanding that my life is on the correct path. It is beautiful.
No breakthroughs to hyperspace, but it may be that I'm not ready yet. I'll wait a couple weeks to go again so as not to diminish my tolerance. I think I went through 230mg in one night. I could have done more. There was no fear. No anxiety.
I love DMT.
Thank you for reading.
Be well my friends.
I'll see you in hyperspace.
,
