How to keep annoying f#@king children from destroying my garden?

HailTheLeaf

Well-Known Member
For the past month or so my backyard has been an all out war zone. I planted a veggie garden along a fence on one side of the yard, and put some wild blueberries in the wooded area. The veggie garden has a rock/brick wall around it and is very frigging obvious. The blueberries and some other plants in the yard have 1ft-1 1/2ft stakes all around them in case people are stupid and can't see them for whatever reason.

I live in a 3 family, and one of the kids on another floor and his friends, (all around 8-10 years old) seem to go out of their way to destroy everything I put in the backyard. I've asked them very nicely several, several times not to climb all over and dismantle my stuff, and to watch out for the garden/plants and explained that this is my food, and awesome stuff like blueberries and pumpkins don't grow if you step all over them and kill them.

They run right through the garden filled with plants, trampling everything. I find the rocks and bricks in the wall scattered all over the place, I find footprints on my blueberries and strawberries. I planted a 2ft tall evergreen christmas tree, they've knocked it completely over and uprooted it twice, it's almost dead now because of this. Yesterday one of them ran it over several times and sat on it. They trample and destroy my garlic and pumpkins. They keep dismantling the fire pit, try to break my lawn chairs, and toss wood from my fire pile all over the yard, and generally fuck with anything I own back there.

The kid's parents, (mom) are never home, and when they appear to be home they don't answer the door when I knock. I've called the lardlord about this at least 5-6 times, and it doesn't stop. The kids friends are more of the problem than he is anyways, he tells them not to do shit and they do it anyway, causing most of the destruction. Appaerently the landlord wants me to deal with it, but my way of dealing with it at this point will involve an electric fence or a cattle prod.

My current next move is to booby trap everything I don't want them touching with poison ivy. That should get rid of them for a few weeks. Any suggestions?
 

robert 14617

Well-Known Member
home depot has some strong sprays black flag ect.....or move to a diff local sorry

maybe involve them in the care and teach them how to garden make allies not enemies
 

Mystik

Active Member
If you have the ability I would take video of it, show it to the parents and threaten them with a civil suit for legal damages. There's no point in trying to stop the kids, they obviously know you can't lay a hand on them.
 

ugzkmk

Well-Known Member
8-10 yr old with no adult is child negligence, call the cops.
put up a fence around the shit.
plant the poison ivy.
leave a note on their door explaining the situation.
 

HailTheLeaf

Well-Known Member
If you have the ability I would take video of it, show it to the parents and threaten them with a civil suit for legal damages. There's no point in trying to stop the kids, they obviously know you can't lay a hand on them.

I might look into that...ha, I can't "lay a hand" on them, but there's plenty of other ways. These kids are already a Darwin award waiting to happen, they throw glass bottles into the street and tried to climb up on the 3rd floor roof.

The main problem is that his friends do most of the damage, I don't know where they live or who their parents are. I do know that they are too stupid to know what poison ivy is.
 

Kingb420

Well-Known Member
people around here just buy a pit bull, there poo is good fert and THEY WILL keep the kids away
 

HailTheLeaf

Well-Known Member
8-10 yr old with no adult is child negligence, call the cops.
put up a fence around the shit.
plant the poison ivy.
leave a note on their door explaining the situation.
The last thing I want is to have oppressive stormtroopers here...stormtroopers who have never lifted a finger in my lifetime to help when I have called them for help.

Besides, they have a 13+ year old sister, I'm pretty sure someone is home, they just won't answer the door.

If I put a fence there, they'll either knock it down, or climb over it, would be pointless. They've already destroyed part of the fence around the entire yard.

Ha, I'm not going to replant the poison ivy, I'm just going to hang those shinny leaves all over and around my stuff, and put it on the stakes near my plants.
 

HailTheLeaf

Well-Known Member
people around here just buy a pit bull, there poo is good fert and THEY WILL keep the kids away
Getting a pit bull at a local shelter is a great idea, although I don't currently have the resources and time to dedicate to properly raise a furry child for the next 13+ years. That's alot of responsibility...and I've already got cats...I suppose I could build a cat launcher...
 

CrackerJax

New Member
Set up a small trellis and go into the woods and very CAREFULLY (with gloves) transplant some Poison Ivy and plant it at the trellis. Make it a POINT to tell the kids to NOT touch it. Do not tell them what it is, just that it's a sensitive Ivy. Problem solved....:mrgreen: Revenge is a dish best served chilled.
 

HailTheLeaf

Well-Known Member
Set up a small trellis and go into the woods and very CAREFULLY (with gloves) transplant some Poison Ivy and plant it at the trellis. Make it a POINT to tell the kids to NOT touch it. Do not tell them what it is, just that it's a sensitive Ivy. Problem solved....:mrgreen: Revenge is a dish best served chilled.
fantastic...though it involves buying a trellis.
 

itsgrowinglikeaweed

Well-Known Member
UNBELIEVABLE!!!!!!This is just ABSOLUTLY UNBELIEVABLE!! I'm freaking out! Children? Children??????? I've never had to bite my tongue so hard in my life, and I chew that damn thing like gum! You, me, and those kids are DOOMED! We are DOOMED. You better just go inside and hide. This is scarry stuff.
 

remember your name

Active Member
AHAhahaha, kill them? No just kidding, seriously this WILL work, plant a row of nettles about a foot or 2 away from your garden, trust me, the first time the nettles get the kids...they wont be going back for more. The best part is dont tell the kids that the nettles are there or what they are and do. Wait until the nettles sting them all over their ankles. The pain goes away after about a half hour so you dont need to feel bad hahahahha, and its safe and legal. =) good luck, nettles keep my kids out of stuff.
 
Top