Homegrown nutes?

Can an experienced grower give me some tips on locating essential nutes via the "MacGuyver" method? I can't afford fancy store-bought mixtures, so I'm hoping someone can help me how to use the MacGuyver method and tell me where in my own kitchen or cleaning closet I can locate...

(N)
(P)
(K)

I'm sure MacGuyver has some of these nutes already in his shoe or something.

Nobail

A Whole Bunch Of Nitrogen Comes From Piss, 1 Part Natural Piss, Urea Derived Nitrogen The Same As Found In Pee, Urea Derived Nitrogen Means "pee"
Dillute It With At Least 15 Parts Water, (not Tap Water) Urea Ex: Miracle Grow, Thats Why They Call It Urination, I Always Just Put A Tinkle In My Watering Cup

Thanks Toker! Who wudda thought. And why not tap water? Is there any other kind? I get my water from a well and I'm sure there is probably something wrong with doing that too. I tested the well ph using a keto stick for urine tests and found the ph to be almost right on at 7.0. I sure have a couple of nice flowers blooming for an indoor grow and no sunlight or lamps.

OK man... just pissed on my plants (and pants). 15:1 mixture. Watered my babies. I'll report back after a few days and let you know if I see any diff. Thanks for the info.

What about nutes for flowering?