Happy New Years Eve Everybody.

VIANARCHRIS

Well-Known Member
Winter slams into Victoria


6:22 a.m.
Temperature plunges. Word spreads that a Victoria man has found ice on his windshield! Curious neighbours gather to watch him scrape it off with a credit card. One motorist, a former Albertan, claims that use of mysterious "defrost" switch on dashboard can aid in process.

9:30 a.m.
Canadian Tire has sold both of their snow shovels. Islanders begin cobbling together implements made from kayak paddles, umbrellas, plywood, cookie sheets and boogie boards.
10 a.m.
Golfers switch to orange balls. Beacon Hill Park cricket players, anxious not to repeat the ugly "snow blower incident" of the Blizzard of '96, switch to orange uniforms.
Noon:
Word of impending West Coast snowfall tops newscasts across Canada. Saskatoon hospitals report an epidemic of sprained wrists related to viewers high-fiving one another.

1:20 p.m.
Elementary schools call in grief counsellors. The grief counsellors refuse to go, citing lack of snowtires.

2:30 p.m.
Rush hour begins an hour early as office workers come down with mysterious illness and bolt for home. Usual traffic snarl is compounded by large numbers of SUV / four-wheel-drives abandoned by side of road.

2:50 p.m.
Airplanes are grounded and ferries are docked. There's no way to travel between the Island and rest of the world. The Victoria Times Colonist newspaper headline blares: "Mainland cut off from Civilization."

3:33 p.m.
Provincial government responds to crisis by installing slot machines in homeless shelters.

4:10 p.m.
At behest of Provincial Emergency Program, authorities begin adding Prozac to drinking water.

4:15 p.m.
Fears of food shortages lead to alarming scenes of violence and looting. Grocery shoppers riot across the city - except in Oak Bay, where residents hire caterers to do rioting for them.

4:30 p.m.
Bracing for the arrival of snow, the city is gripped by an eerie stillness reminiscent of Baghdad on the eve of the invasion. Searchlights comb darkening sky for first sign of precipitation.

4:48 p.m.
Panic ripples across the region as word come in that the first flakes of snow have fallen on the Malahat Highway.

5:40 p.m.
Television reporter, Ed Bain, shaking uncontrollably, tells viewers that snow warnings have been extended. This weather pattern could go on for days. Mercury is plummeting to Calgary-in-August levels. Martial law is considered. Victoria politicians plan an emergency command centre aboard HMCS Regina - once it reaches Oahu….

And so winter begins on the wet-coast of Canada… How about where you are?
 
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