grandpa attempted suicide

thanks everyone for the replies...

we are taking things one day at a time here.

Indacouch said:

Damn sorry to hear that ....if you miss and enjoy seeing him and having his company I'd say it's worth it to get him the psychological help needed to combat the depression before you return him to the same environment again ......just my opinion .....it's worth him being away a lil longer getting help to return healthy ....than to bring him back and worry about the obvious constantly .....either way I wish you the best with your family member GL

I lost my grandpa young to the same thing ....get em some help

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he stayed inpatient psych for 11days after i took him to the ER and they petitioned him. they discharged because they feel that he is safe to go home, and he convinced the psychologist that he was never even suicidal in the first place? i warned the team there that he's extremely intelligent and has formal psychiatric training, but i can see that he played the whole medical team like a fiddle... they do say that doctors make the worst patients...

qwizoking said:

Dors he smoke weed?

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he doesn't like the idea of smoking. we tried vaping but same thing, doesn't like the idea of it. i have him a canna capsule once, and i diluted the shit out of it because i'd rather dose low and titrate up, but the cap gave him "nightmares and hallucinations" and he refuses to ingest cannabis ever again... i don't think cannabis is for him, which is ok.

Alienwidow said:

Ask him what he was trying to prove and who he expected would find his dead body? Suicide isnt just selfish, its also the rudest thing you can do to the person who finds you. That memory will haunt the person until the day they die. Theres no drug that can burn it out of memory. Also it wouldnt be a bad idea to find out what his cry for help was for, and then do something about it. If it was that bad that he wanted to end his life over it, then its probably a worthwhile project to help him with since he cant seem to tackle it by himself.

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still not sure why he did it, he's not the best communicator and doesn't divulge information. he's the classic machioso latin male, except 90yo.

sunni said:

my mother several times
make sure they have bi weekly appointments with a counsellor, on proper medications

people say suicide is selfish i disagree, these people are in such terrible mental positions and physical. it has nothing to do with you, it has to do with the desperation and hurt they are in, endling your life isnt an easy decision but often they feel its the only decision when youre down that hole so far, its hard to see the light or any other option. Yes , if you lose them it hurts you, but you are most likely mentally strong enough to handle the loss of a loved one, where as they are incapable living day to day activities. Its extremely hard to describe peoples demons, and they suffer a lot
i had a boyfriend who commited suicide and anyone who knows him feels hes in a better place, did it hurt us? absolutely. but we all feel there was no amount of treatment that would allow him to be him and mentally healthy, unless of course he was a vegetable for the rest of his life . he was in so much pain.

dont feel tied to them to check in all the time, but offer your help and guidance,

you and him can opt for rehabilitation and psychiatric help in side and let him stay in a home for a bit, if his doctors feel hes able to live on his own with weekly check ups than that helps too.

ultimately you have to know you are not responsible for them and nothing of this depression has to do with you

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since the attempt was with medication (insulin) his medications are now being managed by a visiting nurse. completely unnecessary, we have two physicians and an emt living in the house, but having a third party manage the meds removes the possibility of a power struggle over their administration. he is in therapy twice a week, and is now meeting with a gerienterologist as well.


thank you everybody for the kind words and encouragement. its a struggle to have a loved one feel so helpless, and to not be able to adequately help. my family and i will continue to do everything that we can to help him, and hopefully the therapy sessions begin to peel away at the issues he's having and then we can work towards resolution. i know that we are doing all that we can to help him and keep him happy. If he chooses to take his life, at least we can say that we did all that we could... at the end of the day i cannot be responsible for his actions or his demons. but i can always be there to cook, clean, talk to him and offer advice and support as needed.

like i said, one day at a time. today is a beautiful day , i'm trying to convince to sit outside in the sun and watch the dogs play in the leaf piles

Sounds like your doing all you can and you can only do so much ....I hope it all works out for you,him and the family 90 years is a long go that's for sure .....but you can only offer support/help and he has to want to make the change/do the rest himself ......you can lead a horse to water but you can't make him drink ......still sucks mentally to know he even made the attempt I'm sure ....like you said all you can do is love him and take care of him to the best of your ability ....rest is up to him ......GL to you SF ----Inda

a senile fungus said:

him "nightmares and hallucinations" and he refuses to ingest cannabis ever again..

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There are lots of naturala remedies for this. Try a combo and high cbd break down thc if you have too






Just if you want

I know you have prob tried and if hes a headstrong male its gonna be hard...BUT if you can find something for him to be responsible for when he wakes up in the morning it may help..i know when my grandparents reached their 80s everyone wants to do things for them because as they say you have lived a full lie you have served the country blah blah...maybe giving him or finding something that someone in the house needs him to help for may just be the ice breaker? kinda like no man u cant leave cos we need you to do this each day? im sure you would have thought along these lines already....

ruby fruit said:

I know you have prob tried and if hes a headstrong male its gonna be hard...BUT if you can find something for him to be responsible for when he wakes up in the morning it may help..i know when my grandparents reached their 80s everyone wants to do things for them because as they say you have lived a full lie you have served the country blah blah...maybe giving him or finding something that someone in the house needs him to help for may just be the ice breaker? kinda like no man u cant leave cos we need you to do this each day? im sure you would have thought along these lines already....

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^^ this!

Obviously time for you to have kids ASF! That will give him something to do!

I hope everything works out for you!

a senile fungus said:

thanks everyone for the replies...

we are taking things one day at a time here.




he stayed inpatient psych for 11days after i took him to the ER and they petitioned him. they discharged because they feel that he is safe to go home, and he convinced the psychologist that he was never even suicidal in the first place? i warned the team there that he's extremely intelligent and has formal psychiatric training, but i can see that he played the whole medical team like a fiddle... they do say that doctors make the worst patients...




he doesn't like the idea of smoking. we tried vaping but same thing, doesn't like the idea of it. i have him a canna capsule once, and i diluted the shit out of it because i'd rather dose low and titrate up, but the cap gave him "nightmares and hallucinations" and he refuses to ingest cannabis ever again... i don't think cannabis is for him, which is ok.



still not sure why he did it, he's not the best communicator and doesn't divulge information. he's the classic machioso latin male, except 90yo.



since the attempt was with medication (insulin) his medications are now being managed by a visiting nurse. completely unnecessary, we have two physicians and an emt living in the house, but having a third party manage the meds removes the possibility of a power struggle over their administration. he is in therapy twice a week, and is now meeting with a gerienterologist as well.


thank you everybody for the kind words and encouragement. its a struggle to have a loved one feel so helpless, and to not be able to adequately help. my family and i will continue to do everything that we can to help him, and hopefully the therapy sessions begin to peel away at the issues he's having and then we can work towards resolution. i know that we are doing all that we can to help him and keep him happy. If he chooses to take his life, at least we can say that we did all that we could... at the end of the day i cannot be responsible for his actions or his demons. but i can always be there to cook, clean, talk to him and offer advice and support as needed.

like i said, one day at a time. today is a beautiful day , i'm trying to convince to sit outside in the sun and watch the dogs play in the leaf piles

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Keep the chin up Senile. It'll get better, one day at a time.
You have to focus on yourself too, I know it's easier said than done in this kind of situation, but you still need "me time".

Anyway, take care man.

Damn sorry to hear that @a senile fungus, hope you can help him somehow! Remind him he has a family he built that loves him.

I've lost a close family member through murder, it really sucks man... Makes me depressed/guilty that i could have spent more family time prior.

I still say meds, pharma or otherwise will easily combat dreams.
Then assess different cnnabinoid ratios and dosage. Taking into account tolerance and multi-phasic effect

qwizoking said:

There are lots of naturala remedies for this. Try a combo and high cbd break down thc if you have too






Just if you want

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Yes, I realized at that time that my caps, made for me, are very high THC, little to no CBD. That's why I diluted so heavily with coconut oil, but THC freaked him out. I suggested CBD caps, but he's pretty turned off of cannabinoids at this point. CBD has an antagonistic effect on THC, no? I showed him some research articles detailing a bit about cannabinoids, but he dismissed the thought.

qwizoking said:

I still say meds, pharma or otherwise will easily combat dreams.
Then assess different cnnabinoid ratios and dosage. Taking into account tolerance and multi-phasic effect

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I believe that cannabis could potentially help him, especially if I could find the right ratios and dosage, but he's unwilling to try that route again. I respect his decision.

Currently we're trying an SSRI to treat the depression. My research indicates that EC therapy is effective as a last resort in treating depression in the elderly, but he's not receptive to that, and we're not quite at last resort measures either.

ruby fruit said:

I know you have prob tried and if hes a headstrong male its gonna be hard...BUT if you can find something for him to be responsible for when he wakes up in the morning it may help..i know when my grandparents reached their 80s everyone wants to do things for them because as they say you have lived a full lie you have served the country blah blah...maybe giving him or finding something that someone in the house needs him to help for may just be the ice breaker? kinda like no man u cant leave cos we need you to do this each day? im sure you would have thought along these lines already....

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He's super responsible! More than me, way more than me, LOL. He is an extremely capable individual. He manages his own finances, medications, up until April he was living alone in the foothills of Georgia taking care of his home and 3 acre property. Obviously he isn't managing his own meds anymore, but it is good for him to maintain his individuality and his personal responsibility lest he become an invalid.

He walks at least a mile a day, and does an additional hour of calisthenics daily. He is up to date on world news, and he and I discuss our geopolitical landscape often. Since he returned from the hospital I've let him know that I expect him to do a few more things around the house. Not that I need the help, but I thought it'd be good for him to have a few little jobs like emptying the trash in his bathroom and bringing his laundry to the laundry room instead of leaving it on the bathroom floor. He is also in charge of one meal a week. He doesn't cook, but he does plan the menu and tag along for the grocery shopping.

All four of us in the house dedicate one day a week to taking him out, shopping, medical appointments, taking him to socialize with his friends, etc. Not to mention, since he moved in we've been sitting down and having gourmet family meals nearly everyday. Our food budget has tripled, LOL. So worth it though, I love eating

curious2garden said:

^^ this!

Obviously time for you to have kids ASF! That will give him something to do!

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Gotta find the One first... But that's a whole 'nother thread in and of itself!

Love you Annie

Thats too bad that hes not a great communicator. I guess most of us males arent. Good at arguing but not good at talking about stuff the reason is probably semi apparent, and if you keep your eyes open for clues maybe some will present themselves. I hope all goes well. I also hope your outdoor did well this year, havent been around much since mine started coming down so i didnt get to see how yours went this year.

Alienwidow said:

Thats too bad that hes not a great communicator. I guess most of us males arent. Good at arguing but not good at talking about stuff the reason is probably semi apparent, and if you keep your eyes open for clues maybe some will present themselves. I hope all goes well. I also hope your outdoor did well this year, havent been around much since mine started coming down so i didnt get to see how yours went this year.

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how did you do this year?


i had no outdoor this year... i should've but i was way too busy and there were a bunch of construction crews around all season. its probably better i didn't. next year though, its on. i found a couple spots to do guerrilla grows, and i hate my neighbor so i'm totally using his land lol

i'd like to try the glue outdoors again. that's my go-to plant...

I did pretty good. A guy can always do better but i was happy. I only averaged a little over a lb a plant but my overhead was lower too. I just love learning new ways to skin a cat every year. It's satisfying.