budsmoker87
New Member
If you stumbled upon this and happened to read, thanks. Maybe you'll gain something from my experiences. The title pretty well sums it up
I couldn't have imagined my life to be the way it is now just one year ago. I was contemplating suicide...I felt like I didn't belong. Sure, I was growing lots of pot at the time and drew myself away socially because I felt I had to, to protect myself. Times are hard right now for similar reasons though...socially, I'm asking myself where I even belong. That's what it comes down to folks, we want belonging. But i'm living state-to-state, on the go, staying in hotels, plane flights all over. When i explain this to people I feel like they see my ego before they see the living situation for what it is. We all want that stability- not the money. The family, home-base....where we roam most comfortably in our very own vast space. The space I've been encompassing as "home base" for the past 4 months has stretched the entire country.
How does one achieve the goal of feeling content and belonging when there is no home base? Rock regardless in the moment, spread your wings to others, make them feel good about themselves. For me this has involved strippers, escorts, flirting with girls on the street...and then i ask myself why. i mean after i bust a nut, whyy?? Because we're human, we're weak...we've got soo many needs...but despite your needs, you must NEVER forget to put yourself and your needs first. That's the hardest fucking part about life. Staying true to your vision of yourself and what you want
But we all want both worlds. So what do you do? how does one reconcile their two vastly different personalities?
I couldn't have imagined my life to be the way it is now just one year ago. I was contemplating suicide...I felt like I didn't belong. Sure, I was growing lots of pot at the time and drew myself away socially because I felt I had to, to protect myself. Times are hard right now for similar reasons though...socially, I'm asking myself where I even belong. That's what it comes down to folks, we want belonging. But i'm living state-to-state, on the go, staying in hotels, plane flights all over. When i explain this to people I feel like they see my ego before they see the living situation for what it is. We all want that stability- not the money. The family, home-base....where we roam most comfortably in our very own vast space. The space I've been encompassing as "home base" for the past 4 months has stretched the entire country.
How does one achieve the goal of feeling content and belonging when there is no home base? Rock regardless in the moment, spread your wings to others, make them feel good about themselves. For me this has involved strippers, escorts, flirting with girls on the street...and then i ask myself why. i mean after i bust a nut, whyy?? Because we're human, we're weak...we've got soo many needs...but despite your needs, you must NEVER forget to put yourself and your needs first. That's the hardest fucking part about life. Staying true to your vision of yourself and what you want
But we all want both worlds. So what do you do? how does one reconcile their two vastly different personalities?
that right there holds it together like cum. errr.....glue
