ANC
Well-Known Member
Ok so its been about a year that I have been working with the molecule with the assistance of a friend.
On Friday evening we decided we were going to go the oral administration route. We consumed 200mg of harmalas. and 1mg of DMT per kilo of body weigt each.
The harmaline mix made itself known first and we had a wonderfull tropical summers evening out in the light of the full moon, crawling aorund the garden smelling flowers and haveing the most awesome sense of connectedness with everything and a sense of everything can only go well.... very subtle, very natural but very there. Of course there was a bit of stomach discomfort as we used freebase DMT rather than a fumarate salt, but that passed in the first 45 minutes or so.
At +90 minutes we took up positions and the music wasdrawing us in nicely but it soon became apparent that we would both need higher dosages to activate the space portal.
Out came the vapeing stash and pipe and we shared 60mg of white freebase.
Neither of us had any idea how the MAOI would open up our bodies to the experience, and for the first time I had a VERY difficult trip which lasted nuch longer than I expected. One could say I was under some kind of hyperspace spider web and in the corner of the space the spider macine, (which wasn't a spider, but the essence of one).
It reminded me of the pipe screensaver on windows, just infinately more intricate and colourfull, the redest reds bluests blues, yellowest yellows and greenest greens I ever saw. Yet it was markedley negative, at the same time I became aware of my friend starting to have a difficult time next to me, he was laughing nervously, soflt, and breathing asif slightly distressed, then I became annoyed at the dog, and yeah just generaly annoyed and angry and some par of me became aware of this irrational annoyance with wich I meet small discomforts. I coul dstill see the spider machine hanging too close to comfort above me, colourfull things passed through its translucent intestines, things that looked like colourfull broken infant's toys. after which I experience a time loop were everything repeated EXACTLY liek the first time down the the finest pixel. A lesson, PAY ATTENTION, or you'll take the wrong route.
Eventualy we came sort of down, (not that you realy come down after smokeing spice on harmala) time and the trip itself becomes so maliable, you can walk around in int and come back and go on. I was still a little dissapointed in that there still wasn't what other people call entities, despite our concious attempts.
We discussed our experience for osme time, rolled a spliff to relax and loaded up the pipe again.
This time I layed back on the floor, instead of the one wave rushing me like normal as I go under, I was struck by a series of what can better be describe as little tsunami's. I looked at my friend as he smoked his turn, and his outlines became like blurred and inmotion like someone is useing the smudge tool from photoshop on him. I was still good, not feeling the negativity ex[perience shortly before, I looked up at the chandelier, and ever so gently the web of hyperspace started forming around it, all with eyes open, the ceiling droped back into the distance, yet retained the same colour around thefocal point so I didn't realise it hapening until I saw the chandelier hanging by iteself in hyperspace which was now the room. the very air could have been made form 1 foot cubes, and every corner of those was represented by a little purple dot hanging in the air. I closed my eyes and found myslef facing the famliar mandalas of hyperspace. So pretty , so allluring, I just watched and watched and watched and then without my noticing the transistion I "stopped" watching.
My mind never blanked yet any part of me that would be recognisable as a thought or being an entity myself vanished asif it never existed.
It is hard to describe as there was nothing of me there to describe it. I knwo it happened becasue at some point I became aware of haveing thoughts of being concious of not being part of that source any longer, it felt like I could die right there, I was so dissapointed in finding myself again.
Once again seeing the everything from my own little corner of segregated conciousness, no longer just being there and timeless (I can not rely describe the time scales to you as these experiences exceeded an infinity of time).
I have once read the description of birth where it was said that once apon a time yo ulived in a small cosy universe, where yo uwere supplied with every need without ever having to have a single thought. Then suddenly a tear develops in this universe and you fall through it into a new universe, the one we live in daily. We wail at the loss of that nirvana, and from that moment on even to eat yuo need to chew your food...
I have always been a bit of an oracle, I loved data, and thought, and cleverness. And yet when all my cleverness was handed back to me, it was like a dirty rag. I did not want!!!!
Not that thing, no, take it way, melt me into the isness again, please... And then I made peace with haveing to deal with just experienced the end of the line. There is nothing more, that is what is at the end of the line. A total oblitiration (but not a blanking out), a melting in to the everything.... and allthough the words of becoming one with the universe have been heard by me a million times, I have just done that, and there is no way that words can every describe that, in fact there is no way to fit it into concious.
It was a mistical eperiece wich in an infinity of instance robbed me of all fear of death.
I don't know if entities operate somewhere between the levels I was previously used to and what happend on that night. And I realy couldn't care. Seeing an entity now would just remind me that I'm still concious and not part of the "thing" anymore.
The observer became the observation.
Quantum phsyics predicts there can be nothing without an observer, what I experienced said there can be nothing worth observing in the presence of a mind observing it.
So now fo rme starts the long route of unlearning of unthinking, of filling myself with enough emptiness to merge ito the godhead without baggage, without distraction, without me.
We smoked one more time, but realy how can anything live up to what I had on the second round.. in fact if I never do a drug again, it would be OK, I always wanted to know what is at the end of the drugs, what is the source, and without expecting it, I was not just allowed to see it, but to be it. My friend and I made a few jokes like "you're it" Which was realy funny at the time, if you just WERE it, rather than SEEING it.
It was some time to 5 before we headed off to bed... where those 4 and some off hours went, I have no idea.....
I thank you for shareing this moment with me.
On Friday evening we decided we were going to go the oral administration route. We consumed 200mg of harmalas. and 1mg of DMT per kilo of body weigt each.
The harmaline mix made itself known first and we had a wonderfull tropical summers evening out in the light of the full moon, crawling aorund the garden smelling flowers and haveing the most awesome sense of connectedness with everything and a sense of everything can only go well.... very subtle, very natural but very there. Of course there was a bit of stomach discomfort as we used freebase DMT rather than a fumarate salt, but that passed in the first 45 minutes or so.
At +90 minutes we took up positions and the music wasdrawing us in nicely but it soon became apparent that we would both need higher dosages to activate the space portal.
Out came the vapeing stash and pipe and we shared 60mg of white freebase.
Neither of us had any idea how the MAOI would open up our bodies to the experience, and for the first time I had a VERY difficult trip which lasted nuch longer than I expected. One could say I was under some kind of hyperspace spider web and in the corner of the space the spider macine, (which wasn't a spider, but the essence of one).
It reminded me of the pipe screensaver on windows, just infinately more intricate and colourfull, the redest reds bluests blues, yellowest yellows and greenest greens I ever saw. Yet it was markedley negative, at the same time I became aware of my friend starting to have a difficult time next to me, he was laughing nervously, soflt, and breathing asif slightly distressed, then I became annoyed at the dog, and yeah just generaly annoyed and angry and some par of me became aware of this irrational annoyance with wich I meet small discomforts. I coul dstill see the spider machine hanging too close to comfort above me, colourfull things passed through its translucent intestines, things that looked like colourfull broken infant's toys. after which I experience a time loop were everything repeated EXACTLY liek the first time down the the finest pixel. A lesson, PAY ATTENTION, or you'll take the wrong route.
Eventualy we came sort of down, (not that you realy come down after smokeing spice on harmala) time and the trip itself becomes so maliable, you can walk around in int and come back and go on. I was still a little dissapointed in that there still wasn't what other people call entities, despite our concious attempts.
We discussed our experience for osme time, rolled a spliff to relax and loaded up the pipe again.
This time I layed back on the floor, instead of the one wave rushing me like normal as I go under, I was struck by a series of what can better be describe as little tsunami's. I looked at my friend as he smoked his turn, and his outlines became like blurred and inmotion like someone is useing the smudge tool from photoshop on him. I was still good, not feeling the negativity ex[perience shortly before, I looked up at the chandelier, and ever so gently the web of hyperspace started forming around it, all with eyes open, the ceiling droped back into the distance, yet retained the same colour around thefocal point so I didn't realise it hapening until I saw the chandelier hanging by iteself in hyperspace which was now the room. the very air could have been made form 1 foot cubes, and every corner of those was represented by a little purple dot hanging in the air. I closed my eyes and found myslef facing the famliar mandalas of hyperspace. So pretty , so allluring, I just watched and watched and watched and then without my noticing the transistion I "stopped" watching.
My mind never blanked yet any part of me that would be recognisable as a thought or being an entity myself vanished asif it never existed.
It is hard to describe as there was nothing of me there to describe it. I knwo it happened becasue at some point I became aware of haveing thoughts of being concious of not being part of that source any longer, it felt like I could die right there, I was so dissapointed in finding myself again.
Once again seeing the everything from my own little corner of segregated conciousness, no longer just being there and timeless (I can not rely describe the time scales to you as these experiences exceeded an infinity of time).
I have once read the description of birth where it was said that once apon a time yo ulived in a small cosy universe, where yo uwere supplied with every need without ever having to have a single thought. Then suddenly a tear develops in this universe and you fall through it into a new universe, the one we live in daily. We wail at the loss of that nirvana, and from that moment on even to eat yuo need to chew your food...
I have always been a bit of an oracle, I loved data, and thought, and cleverness. And yet when all my cleverness was handed back to me, it was like a dirty rag. I did not want!!!!
Not that thing, no, take it way, melt me into the isness again, please... And then I made peace with haveing to deal with just experienced the end of the line. There is nothing more, that is what is at the end of the line. A total oblitiration (but not a blanking out), a melting in to the everything.... and allthough the words of becoming one with the universe have been heard by me a million times, I have just done that, and there is no way that words can every describe that, in fact there is no way to fit it into concious.
It was a mistical eperiece wich in an infinity of instance robbed me of all fear of death.
I don't know if entities operate somewhere between the levels I was previously used to and what happend on that night. And I realy couldn't care. Seeing an entity now would just remind me that I'm still concious and not part of the "thing" anymore.
The observer became the observation.
Quantum phsyics predicts there can be nothing without an observer, what I experienced said there can be nothing worth observing in the presence of a mind observing it.
So now fo rme starts the long route of unlearning of unthinking, of filling myself with enough emptiness to merge ito the godhead without baggage, without distraction, without me.
We smoked one more time, but realy how can anything live up to what I had on the second round.. in fact if I never do a drug again, it would be OK, I always wanted to know what is at the end of the drugs, what is the source, and without expecting it, I was not just allowed to see it, but to be it. My friend and I made a few jokes like "you're it" Which was realy funny at the time, if you just WERE it, rather than SEEING it.
It was some time to 5 before we headed off to bed... where those 4 and some off hours went, I have no idea.....
I thank you for shareing this moment with me.
