Anyone's spouse shut down your passion for cannabis?

My two cents:

In your position, I would abandon your ideas on 'getting into the pot business.' Your wife's fears are not unfounded. Growing marijuana is still illegal on a federal level in the US, and the consequences of you being charged with cultivation and/or distribution could have serious implications on your wife and child's future.

I also feel that for a personal grow, growing up to 12 plants is excessive, considering your wife's apprehensions. Perhaps you should downsize your grow to just a couple of plants. Grown meticulously, you should yield enough to smoke out all day, every day. Is your wife against growing marijuana in principle, or is she simply fearful of the size of your operation?

I would sit her down and tell her you've scrapped the business plans, and you're happy to shrink your grow down to two plants for personal consumption. If she isn't ok with that, decide whether your desire to grow plants supersedes your desire to 'support your wife's decision,' as you would expect her to support yours.

Nickp113 said:

Just a little venting, I'm a 31 year old husband with a new baby. I'm a legal MMJ patient in CA. I've been passionate for cannabis for over a decade, with it growing extremely strong over the last 1-2 years. All I want to do is grow, all I think about is growing. I'm consumed by it. I finally expressed this to my wife and she shut it down without even blinking an eye. It really sucks when the person you love with all your heart won't let you pursue your dream. I have a great job, and want to grow on the side, mostly for hobby, but deep down I'd eventually love to get into the industry. Especially since it will most likely be legal here within a couple of years. Is it bad that in the back of my head I've even considered ending my marriage over this? That's how passionate for the plant I am. Anyone out there been in a similar situation?

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You have a new baby man. Ending you're marriage and family life over a plant is beyond foolish. You need to understand your wifes position, you have a new baby.
Growing and kids don't mix, your wife is trying to protect your family. Perhaps down the road when everything in your household settles down she will reconsider.

wouldnt end anything but a relationship because of it. though ive ended allot of friendships over many reasons pot being among the but not the only one.

silasraven said:

wouldnt end anything but a relationship because of it. though ive ended allot of friendships over many reasons pot being among the but not the only one.

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No offense or anything, but you've always struck me as a "My way or the Highway" kind of person.

It took me 3 years to get my wife to accept me growing. No matter what I said she was just not going for it. Yes I did think about leaving but only when I was pissed cause I wasn't getting what I wanted. I tend to go off and take it to the extreme. I do grow now and I'm still married. I don't know if this helps just what happened with me.

Try bringing up all the extra money she'll have to spend on useless shit if you were to grow your own and not have to buy it.

Sometimes that works.

you need to find a different place to grow , the stuff you grow stinks, and people will say im wrong . if you smell it all day its like paint fumes will get thc out of the smell , and if you have ozone generators or co2 generators going thats horrible for a new born , i dont care if you have carbon filters all that, i suggest , put it into a garage , , any thc will strongly affect a new born studies were performed to prove it, canabis lovers will disagree with me , this is my opinion only, your the only one that can , make the proper decision,.

Orithil said:

No offense or anything, but you've always struck me as a "My way or the Highway" kind of person.

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non taken, when you give up everything for 10 years(even how you dress, only going on pills to serve their ego), time and time again. the same things over and over and when you do there is no improvement to the relationship with a person because you've given it all away. you tend to start to wonder if letting yourself be someones bitch is really worth it. tell your wife the truth or SO. let it be at the very for front of everything lay down what you are willing to give up and not give up. life can be pretty screwed if you let them take everything from you.

match box said:

It took me 3 years to get my wife to accept me growing. No matter what I said she was just not going for it. Yes I did think about leaving but only when I was pissed cause I wasn't getting what I wanted. I tend to go off and take it to the extreme. I do grow now and I'm still married. I don't know if this helps just what happened with me.

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I actually brought it up again this morning. Took a bit of a different approach. Now she says she doesn't care if I grow, she just doesn't want it at the house. So , I guess that's a step in the right direction.

Nickp113 said:

Sorry, I guess I didn't say that we've spoken about it many times. She's paranoid and worries about the baby. She also thinks it could ruin her career if anything was to happen. Def not "quickly" jumping to ending the marriage over it.

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not your choice anymore, you have a kid and now its your responsibility to do the best thing for him/her

Perfextionist420 said:

not your choice anymore, you have a kid and now its your responsibility to do the best thing for him/her

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he's got a card if memory servs me. once you have a card its hands off pigs.

silasraven said:

he's got a card if memory servs me. once you have a card its hands off pigs.

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I was referring to his thoughts of leaving his wife for a plant not legal reprocussions

How did you get to the point of marriage and procreation before finding out she's not cool with cannabis, especially when cannabis is such a big part of your life....?

if your doing this for a liveing or extra profit go all out rent out a house grow 72 plants !!!!!!! in mi , and you can have your hobby and make a few extra dollars, just need to find a way to pay that 1000 dollar bill your first month all those lights ,lol not that ANY OF US been through that bill before

blacksun said:

How did you get to the point of marriage and procreation before finding out she's not cool with cannabis, especially when cannabis is such a big part of your life....?

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She's fine with me medicating, always has been. I just never expressed my passion for the cultivation until now.

Orithil said:

Nope, sorry. I told my wife I wanted to grow and she was all like "Here's the credit card, get what you need.". Then again, I wouldn't end my marriage over it either, I'd more than likely attempt to discern her reasons for not wanting it, and then develop some logical counter points.

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Good advice. It is surprising how women feel after they have been listened to, it is almost like when they feel they have been heard, everything u say after that gets taken that much more seriously.

Nickp113 said:

She's fine with me medicating, always has been. I just never expressed my passion for the cultivation until now.

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Well you lack of proper communication got you into this mess. Now, you have to be honest with youself and ask a tough question.
Is your cultivtion passion worth another man raising your child? She will most likely get custody and end up having a boyfriend she eventually marries. He will spend more time with your kid than you. I would find a way to compromise and go find a place to guerilla grow. I can be a little possessive when it comes to my own kid. Good Luck with everything.

told my story a few times here but wth..

I began using rx meds for pain back in 92.. this slowly started with knee op's =3 total + 3 other surgeries on arm hand and shoulder.. over the coarse of 22 years.. during this time circa 93 I injured my back went thru about 3 years of PT= chronic pain management classes. bio feedback group chronic pain classes.. mri after mri I started with IBU 600 mg's 3 x's day.. and would you know it. it did not work.. and they moved me on to hydro then to everything from oxy morphine fentanyl patches etc..

I stopped counting awhile back (6+ mo's ago..) when I gave it all up.. I knew after using medibles/smoking MMJ I would never go back to the RX's..

I smoked MJ as a kid ages 15-20ish.. maybe 1 every other year.. if I was lucky.. so I knew how I reacted to it in the past.. I was concerned when I began to use it that I was going to have the same reaction as I did when I was a kid.. I would smoke a few puffs and then spend hours upon hours drawing.

granted it was fun at the time... I did not want to spend my adult years like a zombie.

I spoke to my wife about it.. she was not on board but.. knew my rx bill + dr's bill was $250 per mo... my entire grow from 2011 was less then 500$ for the year.. she saw the blessing.. and she knew that I was not someone needing it just to need it..

it became at that time the "lesser of the 2 evils" in her mind and she saw when I used it.. she hates the smell to this day..

she is 100% on my side as far as MMJ goes.. she has personally seen the pro's outweigh the cons...

it took time for her to get there but.. after time passed she gets it now does not even worry about it..

I assume you are using it for medicine.. hence you being legal..

My wife hated the fact all I wanted to do was talk about pot during the 1st year and what I learned.. but that was hard to refrain from too..

good luck.. hope your wifey is as mine was and come around

Nickp113 said:

Just a little venting, I'm a 31 year old husband with a new baby. I'm a legal MMJ patient in CA. I've been passionate for cannabis for over a decade, with it growing extremely strong over the last 1-2 years. All I want to do is grow, all I think about is growing. I'm consumed by it. I finally expressed this to my wife and she shut it down without even blinking an eye. It really sucks when the person you love with all your heart won't let you pursue your dream. I have a great job, and want to grow on the side, mostly for hobby, but deep down I'd eventually love to get into the industry. Especially since it will most likely be legal here within a couple of years. Is it bad that in the back of my head I've even considered ending my marriage over this? That's how passionate for the plant I am. Anyone out there been in a similar situation?

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Yes, your child would suffer terribly. I last used cannabis prior to this current binge in 1976. I gave it up because I had children and their future to work toward. After I retired and had some physical issues cannabis was there to help. But nothing is really more important than the future of your baby and it's the responsible thing to do to put the child first.

After your child has flown the coop you can have the joy I just had of seeing my 35 y/o Ph.D. son's face as he saw my grow, priceless! You can't buy that sort of entertainment. Love your wife and your child and it will work itself out in a couple decades and you will be shocked how fast those will go.
Best of luck

Nickp113 said:

i live in a medical state, and have my card. Anything I'd do would be 100% within my legal limits.

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That doesn't matter...

MANY MANY legal Med Patients have lost custody of their small children because the courts STILL follow the FEDERAL guidelines and see YOU as a risk to the childs welfare since you are smoking/growing etc... and because those activities (in the courts view) also set your family up to be in danger from people who would harm all of you in order to steal your grow....

I live in Michigan-- I know of 5 people that have lost their kids DESPITE being licensed Med Patients... so they not only are going thru chemo/MS etc.. but lose their child, have to deal with the courts & fees... go to JAIL because as soonas a Child is involved, the State & Local Law lets in the Feds.....

THAT is why she "shot you down.." HOWEVER_ You didn't say HOW she said it, whether youwere both willing to talk about WHY she said no.. etc..

Sounds like YOU are going thru "New Dad syndrome"... the stress of having yet another person relying on you and "tying you down" can flip you out no matter HOW MUCH you love them... do not let this become an excuse-- I am sure there are things about her you want or have tried to change since you got together...

As long as she allows you to obtain & use cannabis-- consider waiting until the Baby is older AND the laws are more reliable/stable... then discuss it AGAIN....

Consider calling around to the Doc's that license- there are often others looking for "grow partners" or caregivers that you could make a deal with and do the growing at THEIR place!!!

(BTW- I'm not just blowing smoke up your skirt & such... I used to be a counselor-- so I hear this kind of thing alot!)