Random rambles: yours and mine!

killemsoftly

killemsoftly

Well-Known Member
Ever get the hots for an ex?
I currently do.
She's great but has a hubby and 2 kids. Lately i've had daydreams like: what if they broke up?, what if hubby died of a congenital heart problem? (btw: i"ve met him and he's a nice guy and I wish him the best). After that thought experiment it get's pretty graphic. Last experiment saw me and her in the kitchen working up an appetite after an evening of sweating and the like.

She's aged very well as have I. Not that that is actually that important to me as the mental thing is the real deal. If that isn't there i lose nearly all interest. But it's a 2 for 2 with her: great sense of humour, kind and gentle, gorgeous.
Keep thinking about her. KInd of a pita to be honest. Objectively, I believe 2nd time arounds are not a great idea. This one is a non-starter as their relationship seems solid.
By the way, I follow the hockey rule in life: 'no third man in".

Random thoughts and suggestions are welcome.
Perhaps the rx on this one involves horsehair shirts and long,cold showers?
 
killemsoftly

killemsoftly

Well-Known Member
Hookabelly said:
Leave it alone kill, why torture yourself?
Click to expand...
Had a very brief email exchange recently. 'hi, how are you, blah, blah...' You, know.
Then she said she thinks of me often. I don't believe she's ever said that before. I think she still has a thing for me. We broke up late '90's. Have had several girlfriends since. One was at a much deeper level but did not work out or did (most things in life end).
Anyhoo. She is great. I don't know, seems that women my age are often 'off'. Not big on younger women. I would prefer a women around my age who remembered the beta/vhs war for numerous reasons. I guess i look back and realize she was awesome and if not for circumstance beyond my control we would still be together.

Random rambles (the depressing version; version 2 will not be released) Sorry, folks!lol

I think this is a phase thing (hers and mine). we live hours away and never see each other (prolly a good thing). Plus, had a bad break-up over a year ago. Perhaps that is out of my system now. I have much more important places to put my energy for sure!

Rock on
 
Hookabelly

Hookabelly

Well-Known Member
killemsofy said:
Had a very brief email exchange recently. 'hi, how are you, blah, blah...' You, know.
Then she said she thinks of me often. I don't believe she's ever said that before.

Rock on
Click to expand...
Yeah when married ladies say that its a way to find out how much you are interested. Usually for her own ego. Like when guys say they are lonely or how lucky the woman's husband is to have her- one of those open ended statements with an unspoken need Behind it.

Bet you a dozen donuts she's putting feelers out.

And I remember the vhs beta thing (sort of) so that dates me LOL. older women are off? How so? Just curious. If someone told me I was off I'd likelyTake it as a compliment. ;-)
 
killemsoftly

killemsoftly

Well-Known Member
'older women are off?'

that's a pretty bold, blanket statementsand 'fighting words' to many women so I appreciate you bringing that to my attention.

fyi: you will frequently see me refer to 'broads' in posts. I am being facetious and self-mocking as I realize my generation of guys are 'off' in our own way on some issues. Hope I don't cause offense and if I do please feel free to say 'tone it down buddy'.

I guess i notice many women, and men for that matter, hit 40 with serious baggage. My theory is that if not jettisoned, some at least, people become hardened, unapproachable, etc. I think that the baggage that's a problem is specific to the dreaded 'r' word (relationships). In some ways the female ego seems more pronounced, at least to me, in women in this age range who have made no/little effort at emotional housecleaning. I can just feel their underlying 'seething' ('if only men were the way i think they should be'-when actually, they are not honest with themselves re:flaws and bad choices).

I may have just dug myself a big hole in the ground. Perhaps i see it this way as I have been culturally conditioned. not sure. no one is truly objective, myself included. I've just noticed a big difference in women of different age groups: younger ones come across a certain way while the ones in my age group seem quite different. I can see 40'ish women evaluating myself, and other men they are interested in, in a way that I sometimes find disturbing. Maybe it's me. Not sure.

I may have opened a can of worms here. Just for the record, would feel like i was settling by being with a younger women, in some ways, as i really want a girlfriend who shares common reference points with me. I don't want to be 'that guy' if I can avoid it but may very well end up there.

p.s. I've 'random rambled' enough today. hope i don't get an avalanche of pm's from mods telling me to head over to Dr. Phil. lol

I can see the comments now: way to deep dude. stfu. wait! what? you on your period bro? etc. Too late now (presses post)
 
ChingOwn

ChingOwn

Well-Known Member
Hookabelly said:
Yeah when married ladies say that its a way to find out how much you are interested. Usually for her own ego. Like when guys say they are lonely or how lucky the woman's husband is to have her- one of those open ended statements with an unspoken need Behind it.

Bet you a dozen donuts she's putting feelers out.

And I remember the vhs beta thing (sort of) so that dates me LOL. older women are off? How so? Just curious. If someone told me I was off I'd likelyTake it as a compliment. ;-)
Click to expand...
So how do you respond to the

Hi how are you today text?
 
killemsoftly

killemsoftly

Well-Known Member
ChingOwn said:
So how do you respond to the

Hi how are you today text?
Click to expand...
Hey chingown hope your day has been good,
I guess i didn't touch it by just not responding to it. lol
It really threw me. It was mixed in their with some other stuff and was a bit grey though i believe hookabelly nailed it (even more than i want to nail the ex! lol).
She was happy to hear I'm seeing a surgeon and my chronic pain will be better off after he operates, hopefully by xmas.
Thing is, I read people pretty well. we;ve not seen each other since '06 or so but i've always been able to tell she still loved me. She's aged like fine wine. She is fine in every way truth be told. Most guys would see her and be thinking: 'she is a hot milf. yeah baby!'' Then again I am biased as hell! lmfao

Truth be told: i need a haircut and a wild night with a nubile woman of legal age.
It is time to end the dry spell and put foolish thoughts away.
 
killemsoftly

killemsoftly

Well-Known Member
Edit: feel like I'm hijacking the thread I created! Hope I'm not boring And redundant (cheers Commander strax! lol). Would love to hear any random rambling from others. All welcome: even 'dr' kynes! lol

'lord i was born a rambling man...' not sure if this is what the allmans had in mind but hey! Let 'er rip. Troll alert: Little Harry is ready for skewering! Bring your pitchforks! Bwahahahahaaaa!!
p.s. And this is me sans herb! As the 'doc' would say, with typical understatement, a tad 'eccentric'.
 
Hookabelly

Hookabelly

Well-Known Member
killemsoftly said:
'older women are off?'

that's a pretty bold, blanket statementsand 'fighting words' to many women so I appreciate you bringing that to my attention.

fyi: you will frequently see me refer to 'broads' in posts. I am being facetious and self-mocking as I realize my generation of guys are 'off' in our own way on some issues. Hope I don't cause offense and if I do please feel free to say 'tone it down buddy'.

I guess i notice many women, and men for that matter, hit 40 with serious baggage. My theory is that if not jettisoned, some at least, people become hardened, unapproachable, etc. I think that the baggage that's a problem is specific to the dreaded 'r' word (relationships). In some ways the female ego seems more pronounced, at least to me, in women in this age range who have made no/little effort at emotional housecleaning. I can just feel their underlying 'seething' ('if only men were the way i think they should be'-when actually, they are not honest with themselves re:flaws and bad choices).

I may have just dug myself a big hole in the ground. Perhaps i see it this way as I have been culturally conditioned. not sure. no one is truly objective, myself included. I've just noticed a big difference in women of different age groups: younger ones come across a certain way while the ones in my age group seem quite different. I can see 40'ish women evaluating myself, and other men they are interested in, in a way that I sometimes find disturbing. Maybe it's me. Not sure.

I may have opened a can of worms here. Just for the record, would feel like i was settling by being with a younger women, in some ways, as i really want a girlfriend who shares common reference points with me. I don't want to be 'that guy' if I can avoid it but may very well end up there.

p.s. I've 'random rambled' enough today. hope i don't get an avalanche of pm's from mods telling me to head over to Dr. Phil. lol

I can see the comments now: way to deep dude. stfu. wait! what? you on your period bro? etc. Too late now (presses post)
Click to expand...
Nah, no offense taken, broads are broads and ladies are ladies. I've got a pretty thick skin. I don't take myself too seriously to be offended by stereotypes, slurs, or generalizations. I can laugh at myself dude, so no worries,

Ok, TRUE DAT about women and 40 and baggage. We all have baggage by our 40's, it's just that let's face it, women are viewed as useless by our culture by age 35-40 and men aren't. simple as that. and the reason our egos may seem more pronounced is likely because by 40 our time is short. And we get pissy about that. If you don't believe me then why are older men/younger women so prolific but the opposite is exceedingly rare?

So as women we feel this pressure. (Meryl Streep said it best in her speech from August Osage County) and some become bitter about it. We are judged by out looks mainly as men are by their success/$$ plain and simple.

YOu are spot on when you say that people (not just women) are miserable by this age because they haven't done any emotional housecleaning. THIS is why we have so much baggage at this age. Because we never cleaned house. Both literally and figuratively. I mean, look at most of our garages. We have so much "stuff". Same w/ our psyche, a lot of "stuff"

And if one isn't careful, one's life becomes all about managing their "stuff" instead of just living in the present.
 
Pinworm

Pinworm

Well-Known Member
Hookabelly said:
Nah, no offense taken, broads are broads and ladies are ladies. I've got a pretty thick skin. I don't take myself too seriously to be offended by stereotypes, slurs, or generalizations. I can laugh at myself dude, so no worries,

Ok, TRUE DAT about women and 40 and baggage. We all have baggage by our 40's, it's just that let's face it, women are viewed as useless by our culture by age 35-40 and men aren't. simple as that. and the reason our egos may seem more pronounced is likely because by 40 our time is short. And we get pissy about that. If you don't believe me then why are older men/younger women so prolific but the opposite is exceedingly rare?

So as women we feel this pressure. (Meryl Streep said it best in her speech from August Osage County) and some become bitter about it. We are judged by out looks mainly as men are by their success/$$ plain and simple.

YOu are spot on she you say that people (not just women) are miserable by this age because they haven't done any emotional housecleaning. THIS is why we have so much baggage at this age. Because we never cleaned house. Both literally and figuratively. I mean, look at most of our garages. We have so much "stuff". Same w/ our psyche, a lot of "stuff"

And if one isn't careful, one's life becomes all about managing their "stuff" instead of just living in the present.
Click to expand...
Stop being so cool.
 
killemsoftly

killemsoftly

Well-Known Member
Hookabelly said:
Nah, no offense taken, broads are broads and ladies are ladies. I've got a pretty thick skin. I don't take myself too seriously to be offended by stereotypes, slurs, or generalizations. I can laugh at myself dude, so no worries,
And if one isn't careful, one's life becomes all about managing their "stuff" instead of just living in the present.
Click to expand...
Very incisive. Everything. It's really a shame because many women have befriended me and taught me a great deal. I agree that the culture is unfair in so many ways. Not sure that Angelina kicking ass is a solution but she is free to do so.

One problem is that many men resent the power women have to imprison them. Where I live is horrid; the place is littered with men coming out after 6 months in jail on charges that were dropped. Why? no evidence. Police will lay charges to play it 'safe' and have incredible powers to charge. It's a revenge hand, played by some angry women. Costs taxpayers lots. Corrodes gender relations. I am convinced the attempt to address domestic violence has gone horribly wrong but at the same time despise wife beaters. will not comment on custody/child support stuff.

A friend of mine who married a cuban told me that what is awesome about their culture is that spouses feel free to go off and be with their respective friends. His exact words were: "they accept that men and women are different." It's not that we all shouldn't be equal, we should, but we are different in many ways. Women often berate men and try to guilt them (how come we never go to the opera/ballet/etc?). When has any guy i know, including me, ever had a wife/girlfriend say 'let's go see a football game dear'.

anyhoo, it seems we have lost something or need to find it. I think it can be done.
 
You must log in or register to reply here.
Top