CrackerJax
New Member
That show is killer funny... 
"so, they have this car man... and it runs on water!!!
"so, they have this car man... and it runs on water!!!
Hardest Thing You've Laughed At While High?
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BongTokinAlcoholic420
Well-Known Member
I took my friend to the mall the other day to buy some new shoes. We decided to grab a bite at the food court. I noticed he was watching a teenager sitting next to him. The teenager had spiked hair in all different colors: green, red, orange, and blue. My friend kept staring at him. The teenager would look and find him staring every time.
When the teenager had enough, he sarcastically asked, "What's the matter old man, never done anything wild in your life?"
Knowing my friend, I quickly swallowed my food so that I would not choke on his response; knowing he would have a good one. And in classic style he did not bat an eye in his response.
"Got drunk once and had sex with a peacock. I was just wondering if you were my son."
When the teenager had enough, he sarcastically asked, "What's the matter old man, never done anything wild in your life?"
Knowing my friend, I quickly swallowed my food so that I would not choke on his response; knowing he would have a good one. And in classic style he did not bat an eye in his response.
"Got drunk once and had sex with a peacock. I was just wondering if you were my son."
CrackerJax
New Member
nice.... Hey they WANT you to look...then they are like...what are you looking at? hysterical...
kylen
Active Member
me and two of my friends just finished smoking and decided to sit at a bench at the skate park, and we just watched this little girl on rollerskates, just waiting for her to fall and when she did it was hilarious
another time my friend was going to walk home after a few hours of smoking, as he leaves the weather looks fine, than all of a sudden a minute later it is straight pouring, hailing, and there is thunder, and comes running back in my house soaked.... good times
another time my friend was going to walk home after a few hours of smoking, as he leaves the weather looks fine, than all of a sudden a minute later it is straight pouring, hailing, and there is thunder, and comes running back in my house soaked.... good times
kylen
Active Member
and another we were at a park toking bowls and my friend was a fat light weight do to him not smoking much, and we are walking through the park after smoking, and all of a sudden he just starts sprinting away yelling "It's an invasion" "It's an invasion." longest laugh ive EVER had
Dick Bacco
Member
I was playing CoD with one of my friends.....smoking before, during and after.
He asked where I was....I'm at near where trees are.
I put a tactical insertion....he kills me, I respawn and he kills me again in an instant.
He asked where I was....I'm at near where trees are.
I put a tactical insertion....he kills me, I respawn and he kills me again in an instant.
bluntheadtnulb
Member
I was at a strip club with my brother after we smoked and drank some beers, then this stripper comes up and starts rubbing her tits on me and says, "do you know why all the cop cars and ambulance is outside?" and i was like no, what happened? she said some guys was crossing the street, like 6 lanes and got toasted. I burst out laughing, at least the guy died leaving the strip club with a smile on his face.
kush fario
Well-Known Member
ok back in highschool i had drivers ed at lunch and a nice 8th of unpressed kief. so on my way to drivers i spot my friend t and i say wanna go blaze a blown before drivers he says sure but we need a pipe so we quickly find d. oh ya there was only 5 min to get to drivers other wise you get a lete and only 3 are allowed and i had 4. so me t and d go outside by some odd metal thing and bleachers. i quickly packed a bowl and then one more and fuck it one more. me and t go into drivers oh shit it the test. I flew through the test thinking oh u basterds you almost got me on that question and so on. thinking that i was soo genious.i handed my test in and enjoyed my lunch and the rest of my day bragging about how easy the test was and how soon id be driving. the next week the test came back and i failed soo bad i wont even bother saying my mark if you saw how cocky i was being and then my face when i looked at the mark you would understand how funny this was. and that hash was just fucking ammazing!
robert 14617
Well-Known Member
wile in the service dropping off our tax forms on the deadline when the post office staffs for the influx three of us young marines drop some window pane before we go to the post office , aren't we in the peak wile we are in line and can't look at each other without just breaking out into howling laughter . i never laughed that much in public ever again
boliver
Member
my band had an all ages show (underage kids could come). because of this we were not allowed to get drunk. soooo we got really high. BUT what we wern't told was this all ages gig was infact some sort of after school ball concert disco thing. there were like fifty 15/16 year old kids high on sugar dancing to our music. while this wasnt really a bad thing, it was fucking hilarious being on stage and watching them dance. i fucked up so much of my guitar playing because i was laughing so hard. i dont think anyone except the rest of the band noticed but 
kush fario
Well-Known Member
ok i just remembered this i went to timhortens after school one day with my friend j we were very very baked we waited in line and debated what to get. when it was my turn to order i went to talk and the (pakistani woman) teller had a very serious face on which i found funny and started to chuckle. i tryed to talk while laughing which doesent work and made me laugh more. So i looked away for a sec and took a breth and when i looked back at her (with her super serious face on.) she said are you laughing at me bacause im paki? lol i wasent but this made me laugh so hard i had to bend over and she was like what? what? why are you laughing and still laughing the only thing i had to say was my friend told me a joke but it was obvious he never said a word once i started laughing and making a scene. to be honest i dont know what i was laughing at lust a case of the giggles came on at the wrong time i think 
high|hgih
Well-Known Member
Heres a good story lol.
Me and a friend I had in highschool were VERY stoned. It was one of the first times and thats why I remember it so good, because it was utterly hilarious. We were on this trail, where many many people like to walk, and we smoked a couple bowls in the trees. We bust out like badasses with our 007 hand guns out, literally with our hands) And first off we scare the shit out of this poor old lady lol she was like "AHHHH" And we were like "FUCKING RUN DUDE"I dunno we were scared so we ran. Then running up he trail we notice these two dogs up on the horizon. They were real dogs and there was two. And they would dissapear for like 45 seconds til we forgot, then suddenly show up again. Like they were spying on us. So we were scared shitless thinking these dogs were following us, and we see this man walking a far distance down the trail far away from us. We know we have to confront him.. So when we walk passed him, about 15 feet before we get too him. We both start uncontrollably laughing. Just.. Uncontrollably. and the dogs are on the horizon watching all this go down, and then when we were laughing obnoxiously, the dogs run away. Then I continue to sayto avoid awkwardness) "Duudeee, they just like... Left..... PFPFCHCHPPTFFFCCHHHHHH TEEHEHEHEHEEHE " The man was looking at us very strangely. Then as soon as we got out of his site, we busted back into the trees like badasses and smoked
oh yeah, and it was 420
Me and a friend I had in highschool were VERY stoned. It was one of the first times and thats why I remember it so good, because it was utterly hilarious. We were on this trail, where many many people like to walk, and we smoked a couple bowls in the trees. We bust out like badasses with our 007 hand guns out, literally with our hands) And first off we scare the shit out of this poor old lady lol she was like "AHHHH" And we were like "FUCKING RUN DUDE"I dunno we were scared so we ran. Then running up he trail we notice these two dogs up on the horizon. They were real dogs and there was two. And they would dissapear for like 45 seconds til we forgot, then suddenly show up again. Like they were spying on us. So we were scared shitless thinking these dogs were following us, and we see this man walking a far distance down the trail far away from us. We know we have to confront him.. So when we walk passed him, about 15 feet before we get too him. We both start uncontrollably laughing. Just.. Uncontrollably. and the dogs are on the horizon watching all this go down, and then when we were laughing obnoxiously, the dogs run away. Then I continue to sayto avoid awkwardness) "Duudeee, they just like... Left..... PFPFCHCHPPTFFFCCHHHHHH TEEHEHEHEHEEHE " The man was looking at us very strangely. Then as soon as we got out of his site, we busted back into the trees like badasses and smoked
oh yeah, and it was 420
high|hgih
Well-Known Member
Okay here got another one, I know people are actually reading these because they are utterly hillarious, some of them.
So this was like ehh.. 3-4 years ago, and I was with my new friends that I had just made, which also just so happened to be low end drug dealers :3 they are now like my best friends. No dealing anymore but anyhoo. This was their first 5 oz pickup they had done. what we had to do was go out to st louis, pick it up, and drive allll the way back like 40 miles.. Risky, but what did we care we were 18? So we smoke SOOOOO much, they are not used to having 40 grams of personal. We smoked an entire good 8-10 grams that night it was great, and the shit was flawless. So we are smoking our various drugs in the mcCdonalds parkinglot. Then derek (the driver, who everyone rips on constantly, but we all love him deep deep down) orders all this shit and then the person at the drive thru was like "Thank you ma'am, now whats for the second order" If you didn't catch that. Dereks a man, and they called him ma'am we gave him so much shit for that. Then when I'm ordering, I can't stop. I keep naming things on he menu that look good and I ended up screaming right in the speaker "DEREK STOP ME STOP ME FROM ORDERING,, UHHHH TWO ORDERS OF SMALL FRIES... UHH... A MCDOUBLE DEREK STOP ME PLEEAASSSEEEEE" so he says in the most gay voice 'and thatll be all'. he does that at every drive thru to this day its embarrassing.. We all jus geeked the entire fucking time. then we roll up to the window and the chick is like 'your car smells - FUCK YOU(interrrupted by derek)" as he grabbed the food and drove off throwing the money in the window. There was plenty of other things that happened at that drive thru trust me. We went back around a good 2 times mooning them and all of the sorts. I cant even IMAGINE the giggles those employees were getting. Still to this day I don't think I've had that much fun..
One good racist joke we all laughed at, because one of m buddies is mixed. So hes our excuse for racist jokes lol was, he was gazing outside at this tree, while we were on acid obviously lol. But then he's just gazing at it, me and my other friend notice that we've been looking back and forth at the tree, and back to our mezmorized friend. Then my friend silently goes and gets a rope, runs outside, hangs it to the tree while my other friend is still gazing at the whole scene. Then I have this brilliant idea, 'hey Im gonna go make a sign with something ballligerantly racist on it!!' Bear with the racism here I dont need another infraction lol But I wrote on it in real big bubble letters with a sharpie "DO IT YOU FUCKING NIGGER!" As my other friend was holding a rope by the tree that my friend was staring at, then me holding up the sign. I honestly think we literally did all laugh for hours after that. Apparently my one friend didn't even notice my friend going to the tree with the rope til I came with the sign. He said he though he was catching catapillars or something..
Oh my god those are the best I got they tickle me every time
So this was like ehh.. 3-4 years ago, and I was with my new friends that I had just made, which also just so happened to be low end drug dealers :3 they are now like my best friends. No dealing anymore but anyhoo. This was their first 5 oz pickup they had done. what we had to do was go out to st louis, pick it up, and drive allll the way back like 40 miles.. Risky, but what did we care we were 18? So we smoke SOOOOO much, they are not used to having 40 grams of personal. We smoked an entire good 8-10 grams that night it was great, and the shit was flawless. So we are smoking our various drugs in the mcCdonalds parkinglot. Then derek (the driver, who everyone rips on constantly, but we all love him deep deep down) orders all this shit and then the person at the drive thru was like "Thank you ma'am, now whats for the second order" If you didn't catch that. Dereks a man, and they called him ma'am we gave him so much shit for that. Then when I'm ordering, I can't stop. I keep naming things on he menu that look good and I ended up screaming right in the speaker "DEREK STOP ME STOP ME FROM ORDERING,, UHHHH TWO ORDERS OF SMALL FRIES... UHH... A MCDOUBLE DEREK STOP ME PLEEAASSSEEEEE" so he says in the most gay voice 'and thatll be all'. he does that at every drive thru to this day its embarrassing.. We all jus geeked the entire fucking time. then we roll up to the window and the chick is like 'your car smells - FUCK YOU(interrrupted by derek)" as he grabbed the food and drove off throwing the money in the window. There was plenty of other things that happened at that drive thru trust me. We went back around a good 2 times mooning them and all of the sorts. I cant even IMAGINE the giggles those employees were getting. Still to this day I don't think I've had that much fun..
One good racist joke we all laughed at, because one of m buddies is mixed. So hes our excuse for racist jokes lol was, he was gazing outside at this tree, while we were on acid obviously lol. But then he's just gazing at it, me and my other friend notice that we've been looking back and forth at the tree, and back to our mezmorized friend. Then my friend silently goes and gets a rope, runs outside, hangs it to the tree while my other friend is still gazing at the whole scene. Then I have this brilliant idea, 'hey Im gonna go make a sign with something ballligerantly racist on it!!' Bear with the racism here I dont need another infraction lol But I wrote on it in real big bubble letters with a sharpie "DO IT YOU FUCKING NIGGER!" As my other friend was holding a rope by the tree that my friend was staring at, then me holding up the sign. I honestly think we literally did all laugh for hours after that. Apparently my one friend didn't even notice my friend going to the tree with the rope til I came with the sign. He said he though he was catching catapillars or something..
Oh my god those are the best I got they tickle me every time
high|hgih
Well-Known Member
Oh my god sorry for all these posts but I just remembered a very funny one. Okay so me and my friend were at QT, just getting drinks, leaving my other friend behind because he was simply 'too baked to go into public for any reason ever' So were we. lol so we go in there and we get our drinks, randomly chuckling throught. Kinda have our cool, whatevs. then this ABNORMALLY LARGE FAT MAN comes in, and goes straight for the kit kats, then he picks up the whole box of them, and goes to the cash lady(who is also laughing) but as he moves to the side you see his kid grabbing a huge collage of candy. Oh my god that was the funniest shit ever. My friend lost it and ran out of the store laughing soooo hard. then I was stranded at the counter. I bought my drink. Laughing my ass off. The fat dude gave me a dirty look. I've hated fat people since.
just kidding I love you fatsoes
just kidding I love you fatsoes
HiImNick
Active Member
My god this shit is fucking funny. It's going to take me a little while to remember all the funny shit I've laughed at over the years but one thing that I always come back to is when I'm with this one friend that I've been friends with since high school...Oh my god sorry for all these posts but I just remembered a very funny one. Okay so me and my friend were at QT, just getting drinks, leaving my other friend behind because he was simply 'too baked to go into public for any reason ever' So were we. lol so we go in there and we get our drinks, randomly chuckling throught. Kinda have our cool, whatevs. then this ABNORMALLY LARGE FAT MAN comes in, and goes straight for the kit kats, then he picks up the whole box of them, and goes to the cash lady(who is also laughing) but as he moves to the side you see his kid grabbing a huge collage of candy. Oh my god that was the funniest shit ever. My friend lost it and ran out of the store laughing soooo hard. then I was stranded at the counter. I bought my drink. Laughing my ass off. The fat dude gave me a dirty look. I've hated fat people since.
just kidding I love you fatsoes
So there's a lot of background info on this story. Just bear with it. So me, my buddy (1) , and my other buddy (2) were driving around looking for a good place to smoke. Mind you, pretty much every place is a good spot to smoke at in my area but we like our privacy and no scavenger smokers
lol. Our favorite spot is on top of the roof of 2's dad's office building that we managed to get a table and some lawn chairs on top of. Needless to say we got drunk and high there all the time. Anyways we were trying to get to this spot and this was when all of our tolerances were all pretty low. We had just drank about 6 beers each and smoked about a quarter of DANK Dream Queen that we bought from the club. So we park kind of far away since 2 wants to check out the office building to see if there are any people still working there since of course we want to drink and smoke more. Me and 1 wait behind these dumpsters for 2 a few blocks away from the office building.. While we're doing this we really have to take a piss since we've been drinking Arizonas and beers and had been driving for a little bit. Then while I was pushing my piss out, like clenching my groin muscles and shit, I realize I really needed to fart. I look at 1, and say, "Dude, don't you really have to fart right now?" (We had just gotten burritos). While I'm saying 'now' I let out a serious butt flapper which immediately cracks 1 up.. this fool starts backing up cracking up while he's still peeing and almost pisses on his own shoes. I keep laughing and shit because of what he almost does and the effort of laughing only makes me fart even more which of course makes 1 laugh even more (and he actually does piss a little bit on his shoes). Then after we calm down a little bit and 1 manages to put his dick away (it was dark I didn't see shit) and stops crying.. I zip up my pants and look down.. this fool is standing in a puddle of my piss since he backed away from the dumpsters downslope. We both noticed this at the same time and laugh.. fucking rolling on the ground and crying (away from the dumpsters this time) until 2 shows up. He asks us what we're laughing about and we're unable to tell him until we've climbed on top of the roof of the office building (which was like 4 stories tall and we had to take an external ladder. I can't believe how many times we did this shit drunk and nobody got hurt).
Good fucking times.
I'll put more up eventually when I remember them.
Edit: Ah, okay here's a good one. So my friends and I used to get Pho all the time (best stoner food) which for those who don't know, is basically a bigass bowl of daaaaank Vietnamese rice noodles with some amazing broth. I don't know what goes into it but it's dank. Whenever we did this shit we'd get Thai Iced tea with tapioca pearls (boba). One day, though, we got the idea of using the straws to shoot sticky, gooey tapioca pearls at people after we had just blazed like a full gram of hash oil between the three of us. I was never really any good at it but one of my friends is a fucking boba SNIPER I swear to god. The shit that made me laugh the hardest was the first time he hit this bitch who just passed us on the expressway. My expert race car driver friend was driving so we were being safe and shit but we pulled up to the right of this bitch and my friend rolled down his window.. This shit plays like in slow mo in my brain, I was sitting in the front passenger seat and the sniper was sitting in the backseat. He leans out the window, lines up a shot with his straw, and fucking NAILS this bitch in the head so hard through the open window we heard her say like "AUghhhh?!" and felt the spot where the gooey ass pearl was sticking to her hair. Then my friend says, "GOTCHA BITCH." He falls back into his seat, we're all crying with laughter and all in disbelief. We were driving at least 50 mph to catch up to her. Ever since, we do this every time we get pho but it's just not as funny as the first time he got somebody through an open window on the highway.
The second funniest time we did this shit was when we were driving on the same highway and this fool in a black M3 passes us. We pull up next to this guy who has his windows down and,--I kid you not--this guy looks exactly like Paulie D from Jersey Shore. Obviously the sniper has to ruin Paulie's day and just like before, rolls down his window and--this shit cracks me up whenever I think about it, waits until Paulie turns and sees this straw aimed as his face. The sniper shoots him right in the fucking FOREHEAD and to this day I remember the exact look on his face and the sound he made "Eewwauuuuhghh!!" Course my friend always has to yell some kind of one liner so he says "GTL THAT, CUNT" LOL!!! We take the next exit and have to pull over because our driver is crying from laughter.
We don't do this anymore because we do realize it is a serious danger to people driving on the highway but we still shoot people with tapioca in parking lots.. only douchebags though.
