my mom's an alcoholic. i've seen the signs for years now, but just really realized the extent of her alcoholism when she flew out here to see me. Instead of typing an entire novel, i'll just copy/paste the message I sent to my grandparents this evening. The following occured in the past 24 hours:
hey mom mom and pop pop
i'm sending you this message not to worry you, but because i'm concerned and you guys deserve to know everything about your daughter's well being
my mom is a severe alcoholic. it's not "a drinking problem", but it's very severe alcoholism that the doctor told her she'll die if she stops drinking cold turkey without medical detox
I just realized all of this the other day, when she arrived in ND to visit me.
We woke up thursday morning and i found a bottle of vodka in her luggage. i went to job fair and when i came back (at noon) the bottle was half gone
i texted my dad, who's also a very sick man (an enabler, whom says to her "just drink with ME on the weekends", he somehow thinks he can control it). my dad forwarded the texts to my mom and my mom confronted me before i could confront her.
we went to an AA meeting thursday night and i do believe that my mom stopped drinking alcohol till later that day. but when she drank, later that day, it became obvious again how much danger her life is in.
the maid came to clean our hotel room, so my mom went to the pool and i went to my car to grab a snack and ended up taking a nap in my car. When i woke up i called her, and she came out and she said she wanted to go to an AA meeting. I noticed she was shaking heavily and sweating profusely and knew right away it was alcohol withdrawal (even though she said it was menopause, which she told me for YEARS now is why she takes naps every day, never has energy, etc etc). This concerned me a lot because she hadn't even stopped drinking for an entire 24 hours.
she said that she had to freshen up in the room and would be right back out to go to the meeting...but when she came out and we drove to the meeting, i could tell she had drank because her attitude totally changed again and she was very selfish and insincere.
we tried to find the meeting but couldn't, so we agreed to go to the store and return to the hotel. when we got back, she went to the room and i said i was going to stay in the lobby...she said she'd be right back to join me.
when she came back, she was obviously drunk and i called her out on it. I said "then you'd have no problem with me searching the room" after she kept denying that she drank today.
i found an empty box of wine in her suitcase and said "goodbye mom. i'm not going to be in you life anymore because you continue to chose alcohol over me" and left.
i called my dad to tell him about my decision and obviously since he's sick himself, he said "you can't just leave her there! you got to stay with her and help her!"
I said, "that makes no sense at all. We went to meetings every day I was with her and she still chose to drink. The choice i made is all I can do, and hopefully the rest of our family agrees to have an immediate intervention where we confront my mom with this issue, and STICK TO OUR BOTTOM LINES- IT'S US, OR ALCOHOL, YOUR CHOICE"
I have been the black sheep of this family for quite a while, while I was living at home. My entire family exhibits the classic, textbook signs of an alcoholic family. My dad is the enabler, I'm the black sheep, my brother mike is the comedian and my brother jason is the mascot. If you don't know what these terms mean, I'd recommend you educate yourself and find out.
I'm contacting my entire family about this issue because i'm concerned, VERY concerned, about my mom. She is killing herself. We need to arrange an intervention, set our "bottom lines" and stick to it so she can realize the consequences of her alcoholism and change. Until that happens, nothing changes
