What to do, what to do...

SoSo, i just recentley moved to oklahoma from cali due to lack of housing.. but i just reconnected with one of my boys back in redding.. he tells me that he's got a place and shit and is telling me to come back.. i'm in oklahoma.. fuckin no brainer right?

No...

My aunt has agreed to help me get into school to finish up my GED and help me get into college.. I've always wanted to go to college of courrse.. and finally the door is wide fuckin open.. by the time i'm done, if all goes well, i'll have a career as a forensic psychologist... worse comes to worse i'll have a degree in psychology...

The wild young dumb side of me is screaming go to cali.. but if all goes right and I get my degree.. i'll have a career and will be able to see my dreams come true and I can afford a nice ride, a small house on the corner, or a log cabin out in the middle of nowhere.. or both if i choose.. maybe meet someone who isn't already involved, settle down and build a family...

I know the obvious answer.. do what makes you happy, what betters you as a person...

My problem is, the idea of one day being able to sit back and say I did something with my life.. the very thought of being successful and happy is kinda.. panic inducing.. it's intimidating.. to say the least..

It almost feels like i'm being set-up to fail... like i'm being built up to be tore down...

And Cali was amazing.. being able to step back and say "Dude, I'm in cali.. my place of residence, is California.. ".. it was a dream come true.. it was amazing.. it was the greatest thing that i've ever done with my self... and it was for me..it was something I always wanted to do.. and I made it happen... and leaving was the hardest thing I've ever had to do...

I can only imagine how it would feel to be the person you've always wanted to be since you were young..

But now, in order for one dream to happen, the other has to either be put on hold, or pushed to the category of "Man I wish I woulda..."

How do you make a decision like that? I mean.. either one will dictate mylife from now until forever... and will always leave me sorta wondering "What if".. what to do, what to do...??? I need some weed..

Go to school, deal with all of the bullshit and get a degree cuz without it you are not shit and wont be able to get all that stuff you are talkin bout. Cant live for today, before you know it you will have a BA, MA, PhD or whatever. You kno what is right.

thanks.. i just needed someone else to say it.. someone who can understand.. I needed to hear it from my people.. 'preciate it

I hear yeah man I hate bein torn between shit.. Easiar to preach then to practice but I definitley say go to school, worth it in every way.. California will still be here when you graduate or decide to settle down, however your chance for a career in what you want may not be around still.. Its a long term investment, I find it wise to consider not just how I feel about a situation now, but how it will effect you tomorrow, next week, next month, next year, etc.. . Good luck in your endeavors.

get your career and schooling out of the way, once you do there will be plenty of time in the future to have all the fun you want and you wont have to bum off of anyone else to do it