yummy fur
Well-Known Member
Values are a driving force in our lives and when we have difficult decisions to make, or really difficult decisions, like your wife and kids have been blown over the pier by a sudden gust in a squally wind that blew in fast. Whom do you save, you know that you can save your wife or your two kids a boy and a girl. There's no time to think here. Hopefully we don't have to make life or death decisions like this, but the decision we make when push comes to shove will be based on our values.
Often though our values are poorly understood. We ask for honesty from others which signals our own value for honesty. We don't want people to lie to us. Yet we tell hundreds of small and large lies per year. We do not want to waste resources, and even money is a resource. Some people even very wealthy people will not squander money even though they are not short of it.
Money is valuable. Are values valuable. A Value is not a value unless the value of that value is very valuable to me. What does this mean
Parents will chastise their children for lying because the child is too young to fully comprehend the child does not have the faculty or experience to see what this means. (for the record I do not agree with this I think children as young as three are very well aware that it is wrong to lie)
Lets say you have a car for sale is has a small problem coming up that is gong to end up being a $1500 dollar repair, after the repair it will be worth $8000, however you think maybe you should get a new car rather than sink more money into this and any other problems that may develop.
A buyer takes it for a test drive and looks over the car and his mechanic friend looks it over and they agree to buy it for $8000. You're now asked directly 'is there anything else we should know'.
Everyone has a value for money, even a child who does not understand how the world works or even what money is still understands that with this coloured paper somehow I can get that toy. The value of money is clear and easily understood, no one needs that explained to them.
So when asked the directed question, 'is there anything I should know about this car', two values are in direct conflict. The value for money and the value for telling the truth. The little lawyer that occupies an office on the third floor of your brain for just such a situation is called to mediate. Just the fact that the little lawyer has been summoned, means we already know the answer as to which value is going to win out here.
Truth or money, it depends only on how valuable each of the two values are.
When a parent says to a child 'don't lie', what do you say if the child says 'why not'. Being wanting creatures we always want to know 'what do I get out of this'. What's in it for me. I can clearly see what I get out of an extra 1500 bucks but what do I get out of telling the true in the above case.
What you get out of telling the true is 'peace of mind'. So what you say, OK I'll feel a little rotten I guess but I only knew about this problem after I put the ad in and it could have occurred at any time, the little lawyer chimes in. Ok so I agree I'll feel bad for I'll forget about it soon enough.
Why is this so easy to do? Because 'peace of mind' is also a value, and we can also ask, 'what do I get out if it'. This is more difficult to quantify. I'll leave it at that.
Often though our values are poorly understood. We ask for honesty from others which signals our own value for honesty. We don't want people to lie to us. Yet we tell hundreds of small and large lies per year. We do not want to waste resources, and even money is a resource. Some people even very wealthy people will not squander money even though they are not short of it.
Money is valuable. Are values valuable. A Value is not a value unless the value of that value is very valuable to me. What does this mean
Parents will chastise their children for lying because the child is too young to fully comprehend the child does not have the faculty or experience to see what this means. (for the record I do not agree with this I think children as young as three are very well aware that it is wrong to lie)
Lets say you have a car for sale is has a small problem coming up that is gong to end up being a $1500 dollar repair, after the repair it will be worth $8000, however you think maybe you should get a new car rather than sink more money into this and any other problems that may develop.
A buyer takes it for a test drive and looks over the car and his mechanic friend looks it over and they agree to buy it for $8000. You're now asked directly 'is there anything else we should know'.
Everyone has a value for money, even a child who does not understand how the world works or even what money is still understands that with this coloured paper somehow I can get that toy. The value of money is clear and easily understood, no one needs that explained to them.
So when asked the directed question, 'is there anything I should know about this car', two values are in direct conflict. The value for money and the value for telling the truth. The little lawyer that occupies an office on the third floor of your brain for just such a situation is called to mediate. Just the fact that the little lawyer has been summoned, means we already know the answer as to which value is going to win out here.
Truth or money, it depends only on how valuable each of the two values are.
When a parent says to a child 'don't lie', what do you say if the child says 'why not'. Being wanting creatures we always want to know 'what do I get out of this'. What's in it for me. I can clearly see what I get out of an extra 1500 bucks but what do I get out of telling the true in the above case.
What you get out of telling the true is 'peace of mind'. So what you say, OK I'll feel a little rotten I guess but I only knew about this problem after I put the ad in and it could have occurred at any time, the little lawyer chimes in. Ok so I agree I'll feel bad for I'll forget about it soon enough.
Why is this so easy to do? Because 'peace of mind' is also a value, and we can also ask, 'what do I get out if it'. This is more difficult to quantify. I'll leave it at that.
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