I'm sorry that you feel you're in such a position. And, no. It took me two months of dating my husband before I finally told him that I'm a major head. He doesn't smoke (I can't even get him to share a few hits off the bong or pipe with me.. YET!), so that's a non-issue for us. He supports me smoking instead of using pills to control my pain, and since I don't become obnoxious when I'm high it's not like being with a drinker. I do get really distracted, though.
I don't know if this will help or not, but when I have found myself resenting the person I was no longer with for various reasons, I decided to become more introspective and philosophical about things. For instance, the big one was "I have wasted YEARS of my life with a guy who became a major fucking tweaker! That son of a bitch! What an idiot I am!" It's where I hit the 'idiot' bit that I make the effort to shift my paradigm. How did those years affect me? Did they change me as a person? Of course they did, and who's to know what would have happened, or who I might be had I not had that experience.
If the relationship is over, don't immediately start thinking about the next lady. If you do that then the next poor woman is going to be your Rebound Chick, and no one really wants to be Rebound Chick (unless all they're in it for is the sex). Re-learn how to be happy by and with yourself, then you'll meet The Right Chick.
