How to help out whilst locked up in prison!

An elderly Italian man lived alone in New Jersey . He wanted to plant his annual tomato garden, but it was very difficult work, since the ground was hard. His only son, Vincent, who used to help him, was in prison. The old man wrote a letter to his son and described his predicament:

Dear Vincent,
I am feeling pretty sad, because it looks like I won’t be able to plant my tomato garden this year. I’m just getting too old to be digging up a garden plot. I know if you were here my troubles would be over.. I know you would be happy to dig the plot for me, like in the old days.
Love, Papa

A few days later he received a letter from his son.

Dear Pop,
Don’t dig up that garden. That’s where the bodies are buried.
Love,
Vinnie

At 4 a.m. the next morning, FBI agents and local police arrived and dug up the entire area without finding any bodies. They apologized to the old man and left. That same day the old man received another letter from his son.

Dear Pop,
Go ahead and plant the tomatoes now. That’s the best I could do under the circumstances.
Love you,
Vinnie
Hollywood Shawtyz

Got any more like this? Lol

This old but still great....

I read about this Chicago suburban dad who came out to his car to go to work and there was a small crack in his windshield. There was a note under the wiper that read who did it, and that they were sorry and intended to pay for it. The dad called the number on the note and had a laugh with the guy on the other end over the story. The dad texted the guy the invoice, and the next day the dad found another note and an envelope with not just the cash, but 4 Bulls tickets for the game that Friday. The family went to the game, and came home to find their entire house cleaned out. I always imagine the robbers watching some of the game, and perhaps even saw the family on the big screen before leisurely carrying that out, as well. They had all the time in the world to move out all their stuff, brilliant...

tyler.durden said:

I read about this Chicago suburban dad who came out to his car to go to work and there was a small crack in his windshield. There was a note under the wiper that read who did it, and that they were sorry and intended to pay for it. The dad called the number on the note and had a laugh with the guy on the other end over the story. The dad texted the guy the invoice, and the next day the dad found another note and an envelope with not just the cash, but 4 Bulls tickets for the game that Friday. The family went to the game, and came home to find their entire house cleaned out. I always imagine the robbers watching some of the game, and perhaps even saw the family on the big screen before leisurely carrying that out, as well. They had all the time in the world to move out all their stuff, brilliant...

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Moral of the story; don't live in Chicago.

ttystikk said:

Moral of the story; don't live in Chicago.

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And don't go to the game! Lol

lahadaextranjera said:

And don't go to the game! Lol

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tyler.durden said:

I read about this Chicago suburban dad who came out to his car to go to work and there was a small crack in his windshield. There was a note under the wiper that read who did it, and that they were sorry and intended to pay for it. The dad called the number on the note and had a laugh with the guy on the other end over the story. The dad texted the guy the invoice, and the next day the dad found another note and an envelope with not just the cash, but 4 Bulls tickets for the game that Friday. The family went to the game, and came home to find their entire house cleaned out. I always imagine the robbers watching some of the game, and perhaps even saw the family on the big screen before leisurely carrying that out, as well. They had all the time in the world to move out all their stuff, brilliant...

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I suspect the Bulls franchise had something to do with it.

tyler.durden said:

I read about this Chicago suburban dad who came out to his car to go to work and there was a small crack in his windshield. There was a note under the wiper that read who did it, and that they were sorry and intended to pay for it. The dad called the number on the note and had a laugh with the guy on the other end over the story. The dad texted the guy the invoice, and the next day the dad found another note and an envelope with not just the cash, but 4 Bulls tickets for the game that Friday. The family went to the game, and came home to find their entire house cleaned out. I always imagine the robbers watching some of the game, and perhaps even saw the family on the big screen before leisurely carrying that out, as well. They had all the time in the world to move out all their stuff, brilliant...

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wouldnt the guy still have the phone number to find the bad guys?

ChingOwn said:

wouldnt the guy still have the phone number to find the bad guys?

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Probably a burner phone.

I use burner phones. Screw contract phones. The only reason for a contract is for the phone companies to screw you.

I am glad there is plenty of competition on the prepaid side.

Anyone have cell contracts in the late 90's earl 00's?

I think I had Cingular and paid $50 or 60$ a month for a few hundred minutes that I could use after 7pm. It was extra to use during the day.

You can't beat some of the prepaid stuff. I get unlimited talk and text with 5 gigs of data for $45 a month.

I use a burner phone to visit here.

whitebb2727 said:

I use burner phones. Screw contract phones. The only reason for a contract is for the phone companies to screw you.

I am glad there is plenty of competition on the prepaid side.

Anyone have cell contracts in the late 90's earl 00's?

I think I had Cingular and paid $50 or 60$ a month for a few hundred minutes that I could use after 7pm. It was extra to use during the day.

You can't beat some of the prepaid stuff. I get unlimited talk and text with 5 gigs of data for $45 a month.

I use a burner phone to visit here.

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I had those cingulars. Los. Would be waiting by the clock so I could make a call.

whitebb2727 said:

I use burner phones. Screw contract phones. The only reason for a contract is for the phone companies to screw you.

I am glad there is plenty of competition on the prepaid side.

Anyone have cell contracts in the late 90's earl 00's?

I think I had Cingular and paid $50 or 60$ a month for a few hundred minutes that I could use after 7pm. It was extra to use during the day.

You can't beat some of the prepaid stuff. I get unlimited talk and text with 5 gigs of data for $45 a month.

I use a burner phone to visit here.

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I have never had a contract phone, I used cricket for 5 years with phony names ..before that it was the cheap flip phones from currency exchange but the last 6 or so years its been all Walmart str8 talk... I literally have over 30 phones in a drawer that I let expire ..it comes in real handy if ya ever need an old contact, but a pain in the dick charging each phone n finding the number.

Lol, that's awesome

Corso312 said:

I have never had a contract phone, I used cricket for 5 years with phony names ..before that it was the cheap flip phones from currency exchange but the last 6 or so years its been all Walmart str8 talk... I literally have over 30 phones in a drawer that I let expire ..it comes in real handy if ya ever need an old contact, but a pain in the dick charging each phone n finding the number.

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Just use android phones and sign up a Google account and turn on backup. Any new phone log into Google account and it transfers all your contacts. If you want.

I don't even store names in my phone.

Prepay phones are where it's at. I used to use Boost years ago until they made their billing all screwy. They had a rewards program for re upping your account on time. Pretty much if you paid em early or on time it was added to their records. when you hit 6 they knocked 5$ a month off your bill. So I was pretty much paying 35-40 a month per phone for unlimited talk,text and data. Data was generally fast enough to stream youtube vids before the whole smart phone thing came around. In the end there I was toting around at least 2 phones. Sometimes 3.
It's always funny how normal people get sketched out when you're carrying around 2 phones. When 3 come into play they flat out call you a shady mofo right from the start. Good times.

Pinworm said:

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Is it just me or does that have a likeness to Wilford Brimley?

neosapien said:

Is it just me or does that have a likeness to Wilford Brimley?

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It's not just you.

what was with the quick shot of cocoon title screen?