The number one rule is tell nobody, which also applies to the landlord. You can grow safely in an apartment but you need to completely disguise it and completely cover the smell so that even when the larndlord needs to come in and do a fire safety inspection he won't know it's there. (more and more are doing this regularly now to find people like you and me and you have to let them in.)
You have to grow in a wardrobe cabinet, or other piece of furniture. Preferrably with a lock on it. Control the smell with a diy carbon filter, use fans that are silent or have a pc nearby that's too loud to notice them, and make it light tight not just for 12/12 but security.
It can be done, there are many folks doing it. Just pretend like you live with a roommate who would steal it if he knew it was there, that's how good it has to be hidden.