Al-Qaeda Recruiting Suicide Bombers With Promise Of Halfway Decent Job In Afterlife
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CheebaNinja
Member
who wants to sleep with 72 women who have no idea what they're doing in bed?
i'd rather have 72 sluts.
newatit2010
Well-Known Member
Can I have just 2 hoes and a life time of weed.
CheebaNinja
Member
negative ghost rider. weed is the debil according to muslims.
"bobby bouche what did yo momma tell you about da weed? it's dah DEBIL!"
Intelligence officials said Tuesday that al-Qaeda is recruiting a new generation of suicide bombers with assurances that martyrs will be rewarded in the afterlife with a halfway decent job, benefits, and a 401(k) plan. lol, on the real...
[FONT=Verdana, Arial]I heard they were going on strike over the cutbacks?
I hear suicide bombers in the UK are on strike for three days: Muslim suicide bombers in Britain are set to begin a three-day strike on Tuesday morning in a dispute over the number of virgins they are entitled to in the afterlife. Emergency management talks with Al Qaeda have so far failed toproduce an agreement. The unrest began last Tuesday when al Qaeda announced that the number of virgins a suicide bomber would receive after his death will be cut by 25% next January from 72 to only 60.
The rationale for the cut was the increase in recent years of the number of suicide bombings and a subsequent shortage of virgins in the afterlife. The suicide bombers' union, the British Organization of Occupational Martyrs(or BOOM) responded with a statement that this was unacceptable to its members and immediately ballot for strike action.
Secretary General AmirAbdullah told the press, "Our members are literally working themselves to death in the cause of Jihad. We do not ask for much in return but to betreated like this by management is a kick in the teeth." Mr. Amir accepted the limited availability of virgins but pointed out thatthe cutbacks were expected to be borne entirely by the workforce and not by management.
"Last Christmas Abu Hamza alone was awarded an annual bonus of 250.000 virgins," complains Amir. "And you can be sure they'll all be prettyones too. How can Al Qaeda afford that for members of the management but not 72 for the people who do the real work?" Speaking from the shed in the West Midlands In which I currently reside, AlQaeda chief Osama bin Laden executive explained, "We sympathize with ourworkers' concerns but Al Qaeda is simply not in a position to meet their demands. They are simply not accepting the realities of modern-day jihad, in a competitive marketplace. Thanks to Western depravity, there is now achronic shortage of virgins in the afterlife. It's a straight choice between Reducing expenditure and laying people off. I do not like cutting wages butI'd hate to have to tell 3.000 of my staff that they will not be able to blow themselves up. " I defended management bonuses by Claiming these werenecessary to attract good, fanatical clerics.
"How am I supposed to attract the best people if I can not compete with the private sector?" asked Mr.Bin-Laden. Talks broke down this morning after last-ditch management's proposal of avirgin-sharing scheme was rejected outright after a failure to agree onorifice allocation quotas. One virgin, who refused to be named, was quotedas saying "I'll be buggered if I'm agreeing to anything like that ........it's too much to swallow." Unless some sort of agreement is reached over the weekend, suicide bombers will put explosives down at midday on Tuesday. Most branches are supporting the strike.
Little danger for this strike to swap over to Luxembourg according to Jean-Claude Juncker, as we normally keep the number of virgins very low anyway!
http://polwirtz.blogspot.com/2010/01/suicide-bombers-in-uk-on-strike-as-of.html
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Article from another site i though would correspond perfectly with this
doc111
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Are you sure you're not medicineman?
grobofotwanky
Well-Known Member
[video=youtube;GwtDrRWHgr0]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=GwtDrRWHgr0[/video]
doc111
Well-Known Member
Family Guy, FTW!!!!!!!!!
Ernst
Well-Known Member
Are you sure you're not medicineman?
Who is medicineman?
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