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I know who you are. You most magnificent of bastards. Hear my friend Stan.

I once had a wild snake crawl across my feet. I was at my parents farm, and I have not seen a wild snake before or since, trouser snakes aside. Well I happened to be holding a gun, and after shitting my shorts emptied an entire clip of 7.62x39mm into said snake. There wasn't much left...

Why is it so goddamn hard to post a fucking gif on this cocksucker of a site. I'm too drunk for this horsecock.

I accomplished nothing. A great accomplishment in itself. I didn't puke on my shoes. Just yet. There is time however. I miss all you magnificent bastards.

I like yer guys'es wit. You cheesy, dad joking, magnificent bastards.

I'm still butthurt about rep getting axed. I spent a long time growing my e-cock. Fucker was a foot long and they just hacked er off at the root.

I drained the oil out of my vehicle. That's as far as I got, as I came across a cunt of an oil filter that just wouldn't give. I tried the stabbing with the screwdriver method first, and that failed. Of course, I had drained the oil from my vehicle so I couldn't drive it and I had to walk to...

Are you too good to fuck him?

I went to the local rock show. It was $6.50 a beer. Garbage. I did preparty a bit, but that is just too much. I got real drunk and enjoyed the music. The kicker was I was walking back and tried to ford a little river. Well, I shit the bed, fell right into that river. It turned out to be several...

My liver is probably not going to be good to anybody though.

I registered to be an organ donor, you know, if I happen to kick the bucket one of these days. It warms my heart to think it might get stuck in someone else and save their life. Also, the thought of possessing somebody is nice.

Aged 90. Weird personal issues aside, can't we agree that Chuck was a badass mafucka. Real impact on the music. One of the rock and roll initiators. Lots of great tunes. Shit, I could go on all day.

I was just looking for another excuse to drink.

Is pinny coming back? I can only get so wet.

I dropped a piece of bacon on the ground. Shit, you know my kitchen. Mafucka was growing shit. I ate it though. Just to not be a bitch.

Yeah baby. Rep the maple leaf my canadien brosef.

I've been really enjoying this one. I think one of you cunts put me onto it. Maybe @srh88. After you roundly mocked me for liking springsteen. I do enjoy you bastards company. Sorry, I'm having a drunk moment, like every day.

Went to the big city on a costco run among other things. For the essentials.

Game over man, game over