Your favorite sayings

Worthless as Tits on a Fish.

More tired than a one legged man in an ass kicking contest.

I see, said the blind man, as he picked up his hammer and saw.

Fuck you, clown.

SnapsProvolone said:

Two shakes of a lambs tail (meaning quick)

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i actually say that alot
with
holy guacamole ...

"Older than grandpa's buckskin rubber". Inferring that something is very old or well used. My own quip, as far as I know.

An old contractor friend of mine, now past away, used to answer complaints with " If you're looking for sympathy, you'll find it in the dictionary somewhere between shit and syphilis" I always liked that one.

"Laissez les bon temps rouler".
Which means "let the good times roll"
And
"Joie de vivre"
Which means "joy of living"

Cajun French.

I'm South Louisiana born and bred, Coon-Ass thru and thru.

My mom always used to tell me

"Wish in 1 hand and shit in the other, see which one fills up faster"

Anytime I'd ask for something... Yeah she was a real bitch

Oh I also like

"Chinga tu madre!"

Classic

"bless [his/her/their] heart"

as in, "the smith's kids are a bunch of retards...bless their hearts".

UncleBuck said:

"bless [his/her/their] heart"

as in, "the smith's kids are a bunch of retards...bless their hearts".

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Awww, bless your heart unclebuck



Did I do that right^?

+ ^^^^^^

I thought it was funny. Ya gotta picture the smarmy face as it is said

Round these parts he is known as the bless your heart guy

Strike first, strike fast, strike hard.

Useless as tits on a boar hog.

You tell em we're coming and hell is coming with us.

If your pitter don't fit her hit her in the shitter with your critter and maybe that will get her.

" if u cant lick it dont dick it!"

sometimes I hate being racist, other times I'm glad everyone is on the same page.

Shiiiiit, if this is gonna be that kind of party, I'ma stick MY dick in the mashed potatoes

Midgets! There's always midgets

este wey

Here I sit buns a flexin giving birth to another texan.

Lets make like a baby and head out.

you gotta be pushing my leg

What? sorry I wasnt putting attention.


Im mullin around like a one man herd

Im bright eyed and bushy tailed

GreatwhiteNorth said:

Implying you agree.

Does a hobby horse have a hickory dick?

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I like this, reminds me of what I tell people what I do for a living

" Dia, what do you do?"
I work at a toy factory
"Oh yeah, what do you do there?
I paint assholes on hobby horses