So I just got back from the beautiful country of Jamaica. I have heard others speak highly of their trips and even a few quotes of "It’s the new A-dam".
I have never been to Amsterdam, but I hope to hell it is a lot better than Jamaica.
As soon as you exit customs you are greeted by taxi drivers who all offer you pot. Not a good idea in my opinion to buy pot off these guys when there are men armed with AK-47 20 feet away....but that’s just my thoughts.
So we pay $100 for the Juta(bus system for Jamaica), and the driver immediately pulls me to the side and says we are stopping a few miles up the road for beers and "strong smoke"...wants to know if I want some. I feel a little safer about this so I say yes.
He gets the pot for me and it is a little under an OZ for $50. Not bad bud, but not the best either. Looked a lot like Tai stick without the taste or potency.

Skip to the Hotel. The hotel is on the beach (kinda) in Ocho Rios. We are greeted with Rum and punch, Taken to our room and immediately offered Xtacy, shrooms, coke, and pot. I don’t know about you but there is no way in hell I would shove anything up my nose from those guys...or take a pill for that matter.
We decide to roll a few joints with the bud and head to the beach. Now our hotel is on the beach, but you have to go thru a locked gate to get out of the hotel, you are then greeted by a 5 foot fence with razor wire, then a 6 ft fence with barb wire behind that wrapping around the entire beach....at this point im starting to feel pretty safe...NOT.
So we run the gauntlet to the beach entrance, which is guarded by police officers, and spend the rest of the afternoon fighting off reggae singers and hair braiders. There is someone approaching us at least every 5 minutes.
So the beach is over and we go to eat.
There are restaurants within the hotel, but we want some REAL Jamaican food from the little hole in the wall joints.
Traveling outside of the hotel after nightfall is not the best idea. We are asked to buy drugs and sex every 5 feet, no bullshit I say "No im good" to every other person cuz they are offering me drugs. A women offered me a BJ while I was walking with my wife.

So....We go on the Mt. Zion trip. It is $75 per person thru the Juta tour bus or you can find a taxi driver with the hotel to do it for $100. We bought the taxi driver. He took us on a tour thru the awesome mountains of Jamaica. We were deep in the heart of the country with goats, birds, and plants like ive never seen in the wild....was truly a great experience.



We arrived to 9 miles and were instantly offered more drugs and trips to the marijuana plantation.
After saying that I had my own joints with me, I had to smell 3 other people’s bags and tell them mine was better just so they would leave me alone.
One guy kept insisting I come with him now to see his 500 plants. Something about walking in the jungle with this guy didn’t seem to safe....but once again that’s just me.

We walk up the steps to Bob Marley's home; I should mention the entire area is surrounded by 15 ft walls made from aluminum siding like on a warehouse.
Once we get up the stairs we are greeted by Bob Marley's brother and cousin. That was a nice surprise and a good photo op.
I am told at that point that it is legal to smoke there and they insist I spark up right away. Not that I don’t want to smoke...I just wanted to find a chill place to do it and not be pushed into it.
We pay $15 per person for the tour, and are taken up the mountain a hundred yards or so and see three buildings. One was Bob's mausoleum, one was his mothers, and the third was the house he grew up in.
the tour lasts for about 20 minutes, we sing a reggae song, and look at the graves.
I did get a chance to smoke and chill for a bit at the end of the tour. But the chill time was interrupted by children sticking their hands under the fence and saying "we are hungry” please help us eat". Im all for feeding the poor, but I just dropped $150 for this and I wanna enjoy it ya know.



So the best part about the Mt. Zion tour would have to be....I bought some hash off Bob Marley's cousin...at least they told me it was his cousin, but who knows....it was damn good hash tho.

So after all is said and done, we are at the airport and find out the departure tax to leave the country has gone up from $60 to $85......we have to pay $85 just to leave the country.
The departure tax was to be expected....but it was just one more thing to add to the disappointment that was Jamaica.

Honestly the country was beautiful....but the people are outrageous. They are VERY pushy and intimidating...down right rude when you tell them no.
I am a 6' tall 200lbs man and I don’t frighten easy. But these are VERY big black men who scared the shit outa me. The only time we felt safe was in the hotel....and I still slept with a kitchen knife under the bed.

Anyway....just wanted to share my experience.

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!Warning! The above post is filled with sarcasm and bad humor.

wow. they really tried to push drugs & sex THAT hard?!

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"I went from righting my wrongs, to writing my wrongs - now i rap about 'em in songs"

Ya mon .. Thanks for sharing .. I had friends who went there and they said YOU DONT LEAVE THE RESORT at night ... I guess you found out why ...

The sex offers were few...three all together, but the drugs i am prob understating it...its really bad.

My suggestion would be to take a cruise that only stops there for a day.
Get off the boat...get what you need...and get the fuck outa there.

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!Warning! The above post is filled with sarcasm and bad humor.

That's how I felt about my trip too. When we arrived we rented a car and drove across the island from kingston to negril, there are very little road signs around and it took us a few hours extra hours driving thru the jungle! I went with a group of buddies and a couple of jamaican guys showed us around and stuck with us the entire trip. They supplied us with all of the herb and cigs. We didn't stay at an inclusive resort but a decent enough hotel, we wanted to experience the real jamaica! I had to turn down a couple sacks and finally they brought out some solid herb! Everywhere I went and was being offered drugs or prostitutes, a few times I felt pretty intimidated by some big Jamaican guys. The prostitutes literally grabbed my dick while soliciting me! But the guys who went around with us were pretty chill and good guys and we felt safe with them. I was a bit taken aback by the extreme poverty of the island though. One visit to the island was enough for me!

Back in Grade 8 my teacher went there.
Came back saying if you go there, don't leave your hotel after dark. He went to a beach party after dark and got mugged and everything.

And he was a pretty big guy, he was a jujitsu person or what ever you want to call it.

Yeah.... Sounds horrible.... :none:

But the Meat patty's are the bomb.. MMMMMMMMMMMMMMMM love me some Goat

I love the seafood patties, those things rock!

I ate curry goat and jerk chicken the whole time i was there.....was AWESOME.
i love food tho, its a weakness.

I can live off of the 3 for $1 tacos in mexico you get off the carts....i dont care if its dog HOOK IT UP!

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!Warning! The above post is filled with sarcasm and bad humor.