something to lighten the mood

fdd2blk · #1 03-31-2007, 01:14 PM

i wouldn't do this today because i'm a nicer guy. but back then and being where we were, is was pretty frickin' funny.

Back It Up Lady !!

so i'm driving a delivery truck in san fransisco one day. I pull up to a red light. There is a car that has stopped half way into the intersection and is backing up in front of me to get out of traffic. So i leave enough room for her before i stop. She backs up to a safe location and waits for the green light. Only thing is, she still has her back up lights on. So i look over at Dave and i say "watch this". I put the truck( 14' box truck, BIG front bumper) in park. as soon as the light turns green i lay on the horn. She punches it and immediately proceeds in destroying her trunk against that lovely bumper. I had to wait a minute before i could get out of the truck because we were laughing so hard. She was "so sorry". I let her go with a warning.

i've got a lot of them. stories that is. let's all trade.

mr_issues · #2 03-31-2007, 01:20 PM

LMMFAO!!!!!! Thats some funny shit there!

mogie · #3 03-31-2007, 02:01 PM

rofl.......

mr_issues · #4 03-31-2007, 02:14 PM

Does it have to something mean we did to someone or just a funny story?

About four years ago, when I was still living in Goldbar, WA... My brother and I were at a friends house partying... This friend had a nice ass grow room set up btw & they both chew tobacco... anyway, were all getting stoned off our asses and drinking everything under the sun... Well, we all pass out at about 4AM, My brother on one couch and me on the other...
About an hour after we all crashed I wake up to screaming... My brother had woke up and grabbed what he thought was a bottle of water from next to the couch... Turned out it was our buddies spit bottle...

fdd2blk · #5 03-31-2007, 02:15 PM

We're here !

You all know that guy that is always hanging out at the hang-out house but is not really part of the group? We all have one. Well ours was funny. He liked going for drives. Whenever i had to go across town he would just follow my buddy and i outside and jump in the back of my truck. He never really said anything, just jumped in smiling. Little bit of canine in him i guess. So we'd zip across town, usually on a covert delivery or pick-up, and this guy would be in the back. We'd get to our destination and before i could even stop he'd jump out, find a tree to lean against, and fire up a smoke and wait. We'd do our thing, come back and start the truck and he'd jump back in. (see it coming yet?) SO, one day, we walk out the front door and he follows. I get in and start the truck. He jumps in. I drive across town. He wags his tongue in the breeze. We get there. He jumps out and finds his tree. I drive home.
He's was laughing when he got back 2 hours later. "You guys", he says. He asked after that.

mr_issues · #6 03-31-2007, 02:21 PM

LMMFAO I bet he did! I would have drove farther away before stoping...

fdd2blk · #7 03-31-2007, 02:40 PM

Polly want a cracker?

I grew up on a commercial salmon fishing boat. We were on anchor in drakes bay for a week due to high winds. It's a 40 foot fishing boat that tends to get small on long days. So my brother and i are out on the back deck doing a little fishing and messing with the seagulls. We had a bunch of old bait and we're throw it out and a rather large crowd of seagulls is forming. My dad's in the cabin reading a book in his skivies. Some we have this swarm, did i mention the big net? We have this big net for scooping the fish into the boat. It's about six foot long with enough room for a small child. So we bait in a bird. I throw on some big gloves. WE scoop one. Fuckers huge and pissed. I got him by the wings all tucked up gently but he's squawking tell no end. So my brother looks at me and says "now what?". "I don't know. Captain want a bird for his shoulder?" my brother just grins. I jump up run to the cabin door throw the bird in and slam it shut. The bad thing was the bird was between my dad and a safe exit. Took about a minute or so but he got out. Bird shit everywhere. Feathers everywhere. It's now a christmas time story shared around the tree.

no, the stories don't have to be mean but they sure are funny that way.

mr_issues · #8 03-31-2007, 02:47 PM

Im just too stoned to think of any right now... I finaly got some smoke after about a week... I got a beer and some gas for the mower... Its sunny, so Im going to mow the yard... Ill think about the old days and try to remember a few of the crewl things I have done to people over the years... Peace

fdd2blk · #9 03-31-2007, 03:03 PM

you read my mind. staring at the sunny yard right now. plus i have a myspace stalker trying to IM me. i gotta go hide.

to be continued...

fdd2blk · #10 04-05-2007, 09:20 PM

i grew up in a house without a sidewalk out front. we had a grass yard that merge to dirt that merged to the road. good ole american homefront.
so i was a young lad maybe 13 years old. my buddy and i were playing in the yard. we were looking for rocks to throw, so we ended up kicking around in the driveway. my buddy bends over and digs something out of the ground. he says "look i think it's a ring". i saw a glob of hardened dirt and said "no, i think it's just a bottle cap. so we go over to the hose and rinse it off. sure enough it's a ring. gold, whole bunch of diamonds, very beautiful. i said " it's totally fake". my buddy says probably. so we go in the house to show my parents. they are both sitting on their bed. i walk in and say we found this ring in the driveway. my mom says "let me see it". i hand it to her. she immediately starts to cry. what? "mom, what's wrong?" "it's mine!". your father and i got in a fight 7 years ago and it was thrown out the front door. we never found it. he bought me a new one. my dad had been parking his truck on it all those years. a little of the gold was worn and had to be built up, but all the diamonds were intact. she wears two rings today.

i got choked up a little typing this.