I hate my life. Im 20 years old, white male from Pennsylvania. I go to a good college in southern california and im just sick of everything around me. Im an English major and its more of a hobby to me than a passion. My parents support me in pretty much anything i want to do, but for some reason nothing has been that rewarding. I have interests; cooking, reading, writing... but its nothing i can make a life out of. Im having a midlife crisis before i even have a life. Im just sick of all this. I even have a really cute girlfriend back in LA but she doesnt really get why im so upset with everything. I have so many goddamn opportunities but i just dont want any of them. I dont really care much for getting a ba, or getting some kush job after college. There are a lot things i want to do, but when i say them, they sound like strange fantasies to my parents.

To get my mind off things I think about ways to kill myself. But I dont think I have the balls to ever do it. I want to see the world but i dont know where to start. I constantly have these pipe dreams of just leaving this life behind and start hopping trains or something, but i dont know if i have the balls to do that either.

Im back home in pittsburgh now for the summer and things have been shitty. I dont know if i want to go back to school and its making my parents go freaking mad! Im just sleeping in and playing around on my computer. I dont know what to do. I dont really know why im posting this. Its almost 4am here and this is just a shot. Does anyone out there in this big/small world have any ideas? Please no B.S. Im getting to the end of my rope...
this is prolly a stupid idea but my email is CaptainCallahan@gmail.com

theres a few things,

if you have the inspirtation, then spend all your money and devote a few years of your life to just pan handling around the world, get to one location by a memorible means..:not giving bjs: leave it to life to guide you to the right path

Hit the blunt.

well i'm 51 yrs. old and had/have those same feelings, i just learned to live with said feelings it's not that hard. i guess you could seek psychological help, but that's a costly path and you may wind up being a pharmaceutical junkie.

Your not the only one that is lost! I'm just a tad bit(2 years) older than you and I kinda hate the world too because its fucking cut-throat. You know what they say 'nice guys finish last', and I think it might be sadly be true. The only problem is that I'm innately a nice person but I get fucked because I trust people. Idk, I guess I'm not helping much but, but your not the only one having problems dude. Good luck.

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"You must be the change you wish to see in the world." Ghandi........
"We must learn to live together as brothers, or perish together as fools." MLK

You should make an appointment to go see a doctor or a counsellor. Sounds to me like you have depression.

I was recently diagnosed with depression and the doctor put me on medication. I take one little pill a day and it has help a lot!

xanax will make it all go away

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I'm Lost, But Making Great Time

Im in sort of the same position as you. Im back home with my mom again after I got kicked out of my apartment for not paying. Im 22 years old and I havent really done shit yet. The only thing I think of most the time is how Im gonna grow weed when I get my own place again. All I really think about is smoking and these dreams for my life that are far away. I do have minor depression though and maybe some other stuff, and I need to man up and get a girl again, but no bullshit it has to be someone I really love and love to spend time with thats all I really want.

But, if u have depression or not bottomline u just gotta calm down. Drink a little something and smoke a little bit and just chill out with someone u love. Everything might seem hard and confusing but it will all be cool in the end. U gotta clear ur mind and realize all the good things in ur life, theres just a lot of bullshit that will fill our minds from time to time and consume us, especially us people with depression and anxiety. Find a way to be at peace and clear ur mind and everything will make sense, life is great.

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I don't do drugs...Just Weed

you kids are just un motivated .. get your ass out there and "DO SOMETHING" Dont MOPE around .. go cut the grass . keep busy .. rebuild a car , buy a motorcycle and see the world . sitting in the house IS THE WORST THING YOU COULD DO... JOIN THE Army or something ... Peace

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I'm Lost, But Making Great Time

You guys are too young to feel so low,maybe you should volunteer somewhere like your local shelter or nursing home just to see how fortunate you are and maybe add some perspective between the actual bad and good.

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Midgar full of flowers,wallet full of dustbunnies