I haven't had too many but hopefully some veterns can get the ball rolling.
Only slightly funny story i have was a while back i was at my bros house smoking and we decide to ride down the street to the gas station. So were riding BMX bikes without brakes (all bmxers don't have brakes for w/e reason). So im riding my friends bikes and im going down the street that intersects into a large therofare road and im high out of my mind and go "gotta put the brakes on" and "oh shit, no brakes, fuck." i was thinking real hard what to do and finally remembed to put my foot on the tire to slow down. I ended up running into the back of a car that way about to pull into on going traffic. They come out and say "are you okay?" and i just jump back on the bike and catch back up to my friend and im covered in dirt and blood. Next day i totally forgot how i got all these bruises and cuts.

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thats nothing . i remenber my 1st year in high school. 2 week in and i smoke about an 1/8 of weed beteew me and my friend, but back then i was a light weigth .then eat alot of muchies then i went to english class then my friends was pushin me around then they stop after i told them to fuck off and i was real dizzy then i puke all over the front door of the classroom. that made me look real good huh?? but that one week everyone knew who i was and i became pop. lol for a while

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http://www.imeem.com/casstacular/vid..._comedy_video/

This one time at Band Camp ........

Well i was at this kids house and we smoke in the basement while his mom gets drunk upstairs(i know... sounds like that 70's show eh?)... well we were smoking outside of the basement below the deck on the "basement patio," and we hear yelling so we go out to see whats going on.

The kids mom was outside arguing w/ the fat neighbor.. the neighbor accused her of throwing trash on her lawn... so the mom got in her face... needless to say... next thing u know two alcoholic lonely women begin beating the shit out of each other... we pulled up lawn chairs and watched the whole thing w/ a joint and a bong.

Oh fuck, thats hilarious.
Yea i got after school detention for 3 hours, so i left my last class a little early and met up with my friend at a church next to my school. So we were sitting inside this church taking bong rips then ran back to the school in time for the detention. So for 3hrs we had to copy and write this huge essay while being ripped. That was long ago, but yea

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my old roomate and i were talking to this guy and he said something like, yea this asian cat was dancing... we were both like how can you tell if the cat is asian? doh! lmao

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"Religion is the opiate of the masses" - Karl Marx