This has got to be one of the best stories in the bible. Joseph has never done the deed with mary, she lived with him for a while yet she still refused to put out.

One day Mary comes home after a hard at market, and while joseph is busy trying to invent the chair, Mary tells him that she has some joyous news. Joseph sits himself down on a stone shaped for that purpose and mary drops to her knees, taking his hands into her own.

"Joseph," she says, half giddy with excitement. "I'm pregnant!" The smile is still on Joseph's face as he slowly starts to realise exactly what this bitch is saying.
"How?" is all he can manage as shock takes a hold.
"Silly." she chides. "You know you're the only man for me." She stares at him, eyes wide with excitement, expecting him to know exactly what she's talking about. He just stares back, eyes wide with shock. "It was the lord of course!" She laughs giddily and slaps him on the knee. "The lord did it, Joseph. It's a miracle!" Joseph stands from the stone, his head spinning with what are obviously a pack of lies. He grabs mary by the arm and starts to drag her towards the door. "Ow." Mary cries. "You're hurting my arm! Where are you taking me?"
"We're going to see the rabbi." Joseph growls. "So help you woman if he tells me you are anything other than pure." Joseph takes her to the dwelling of the rabbi. The rabbi is having lunch with his wife and notices through a small window Joseph dragging Mary towards his door. The rabbi pales, and hurries to the door.
"Yes?" the rabbi asks, trying to force a welcome smile through the acres of guilt lining his face. Mary throws a sly wink the rabbi's way, and he visibly relaxes before Joseph tells him the story. The rabbi instantly drops to his knees declaring a miracle. Joseph, though is not having any of it and he insists that the rabbi do the test. The rabbi ushers them in and tells his wife to leave the house. She dutifully obeys. The rabbi gives mary's arse a little squeeze as he inserts the tip of his finger into her vagina, the rest of his finger he uses to stimulate her clitoris. After a few minutes the rabbi removes his finger and declares her still a virgin.

This may explain how Joseph was convinced. Now how was everyone else?

Isn't there anybody with the balls to admit they believe the immaculate conception? They'd have to be big.

No man in the world would believe such a story. Joseph must have been a complete muppet.

The whole story of the bible is false! Science has already proven the that the Earth evolved as life has, and was never created in 7 days!
The whole story is a form of governmental control over it's citizens.

The funniest thing about it is that millions of idiots believe in it lmfao!!!!

I can admit this..

My mom's name is mary and my dad's name is joseph.... and my name is NOT jesus.. but i wear sandals sometimes..

iloveyou

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yeah and the rest of the idiots believe in the science.. LOL..

and the truth is....

iloveyou

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you're joking right?

are you saying that the bible is false because science is true?

do you belive in gravity?

cause einstein proved there is no such thing as gravity over 40 years ago...

iloveyou

The bible and science are the exact same... identical... no different...
same stuff... and what are they... they are... drum roll please.... ...???

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You are joking right? I realy need your source on this "Einstein proved there is no such thing as gravity of 40 years ago". Does this statement come from your ignorance or do you have a source for this statement? I say this because I have read no less than 2 complete biographies on Albert Einstein and have never found anything even remotely saying that Einstein "proved that there is no such thing as gravity". I think you are misquoting based off of apparent bias to attack science. Maybe I am wrong, but if I am please let me know where you got this information so that I may be educated.

You see it is actually quite simple. The scientific hierarchy goes like this...
first someone comes up with a Hypothesis. The Hypothesis is tested repeatidly by multiple independant sources over a long period of time. When the sources come up with consistant information that supports the Hypothesis then it becomes a theory. After years and years and years of the theory being tested hundreds, thousands or even millions of times then it becomes a scientific law.

Here is the problem. "Newton's law of gravity". It's a scientific law. It is not, and has not been disproven or it would not be a law.

On the other hand. The bible and it's preachings don't even make it to the status of "Hypothesis" because it keeps failing even the initial tests... like the existance of fossils and carbon dating. Its nice to have faith but you may want to get your facts together first before making up statements to try and slam science just because you fealt that Religion was being attacked.

Peace

actually, newton published the laws of motion. there is no 'law of gravity'

!_F_a_c_e_!

but gravity is still real? I've never heard this one before. So how did einstein explain this? What goes up must come down... what goes left doesn't have to go right... motion and gravity are surely two different things.