BIGGEST THREAD in RIU History

[ZenMaster]

Originally Posted by Wikidbchofthewst

knock knock

Who's there?

[Wikidbchofthewst]

lol, i didn't actually expect anyone to respond. I don't really like knock knock jokes. How about....


I took some clients out to dinner last week, and I noticed a spoon in the shirt pocket of our waiter as he handed us the menus. It seemed a little odd, but I dismissed it as a random thing. Until our busboy came with water & tableware; he, too, sported a spoon in his breast-pocket.

I looked around the room, and all the waiters, waitresses, busboys, etc. had spoons in their pockets. When our waiter returned to take our order, I just had to ask, "Why the spoons?"

Well," he explained, "our parent company recently hired some efficiency experts to review all our procedures, and after months of statistical analyses, they concluded that our patrons drop spoons on the floor 73% more often than any other utensil at a frequency of 3 spoons per hour per workstation. By preparing all our workers for this contingency in advance, we can cut our trips to the kitchen down and save time...nearly 1.5 extra man hours per shift."

Just as he concluded, a "ch-ching" came from the table behind him, and he quickly replaced a fallen spoon with the one from his pocket. "I'll grab another spoon the next time I'm in the kitchen instead of making a special trip," he proudly explained. I was impressed. "Thanks. I had to ask."

"No problem," he answered, then he continued to take our orders.

As the members of my dinner party took their turns, my eyes darted back & forth from each person ordering and my menu. That's when, out of the corner of my eye, I spotted a thin, black thread protruding from our waiter's fly. Again, I dismissed it; yet I had to scan the room and, sure enough, there were other waiters & busboys with strings hanging out of their trousers.

My curiosity overrode discretion at this point, so before he could leave I had to ask.
"Excuse me, but...uh...why, or what...about that string?"

"Oh, yeah" he began in a quieter tone. "Not many people are that observant. That same efficiency group found we could save time in the Men's room, too."

"How's that?"

"You see, by tying a string to the end of our, eh, SELVES, we can pull it out at the urinals literally hands-free and thereby eliminate the need to wash our hands, cutting time spent in the restroom by over 93%!"

"Oh, that makes sense," I said, but then thinking thru the process, I asked "Hey, wait-a-minute. If the string helps you pull it out, how do you get it back in?"
Well," he whispered, "I don't know about the other guys; but I use my spoon."

[Gryphonn]

Too bloody funny! I remembered this after the punchline, but I was laughing anyway...

[Wikidbchofthewst]

Yeah, it was one my mom told me a long time ago, I just looked it up on the internet.

dude, I have a question...and I hope one of you guys can answer.

Whenever I get my dog high, I blow it in her face. But I've done it around my mom, and she always says to blow it in her ear. SHE says it goes straight to the dog's brain...but, lol, I dunno I have a hard time believing that.

I tried looking it up online, but every thing I found where someone asked the question, like yahoo answers or whatever, most of the replies were, "why would you want to know that you sick fuck?" or some other damning statement about cruelty to animals. lol, soo....

Anyone here know? Does it really get them high to blow it in their ears? And...why? Is it just because it's a contact high?

[StaySafe420]

gets my dog baked when i blow it in his ear, but only if it's real thick smoke

[ZenMaster]

Originally Posted by Wikidbchofthewst

Yeah, it was one my mom told me a long time ago, I just looked it up on the internet.

dude, I have a question...and I hope one of you guys can answer.

Whenever I get my dog high, I blow it in her face. But I've done it around my mom, and she always says to blow it in her ear. SHE says it goes straight to the dog's brain...but, lol, I dunno I have a hard time believing that.

I tried looking it up online, but every thing I found where someone asked the question, like yahoo answers or whatever, most of the replies were, "why would you want to know that you sick fuck?" or some other damning statement about cruelty to animals. lol, soo....

Anyone here know? Does it really get them high to blow it in their ears? And...why? Is it just because it's a contact high?

Well, getting to the brain faster is false, the THC has to be absorbed in the bloodstream and delivered to the brain. I'm really not sure if the eardrum has a way to transfer the THC to the bloodstream. I just shotgun toward the snout and it does fine.

[Wikidbchofthewst]

lol, yeah, I told my mom I don't think the respiratory system is linked with your ears....but I could be wrong.

Yeah, I just stick with a nice cloud of smoke to the face.

[jordann9e]

wow... hahaha

[pakalolo808]

gettin long, whats the current record

[Gryphonn]

51,420 views, but only 30 replies.

This thread blueberry yum yum

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