....When i open the door and they see the big smile on my face and they know im ripped, they usually say some funny shit


i owe my many nights of not puking due to being overly intoxicated to eating pizza pizza before i sleep, open till 4:00 Am

i smoked out many a delivery person in my time. we used to get pizza and chicken from a place around the corner. the girl told us one day that they fight over who gets to deliver to us. we've had them call and ask for their driver back.

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yeah usually im spraying spray in the air to cover the smell. the dogs barking viciously and the house reeks. and after 10 minutes i get to the door and say " wuttts upppp dood"? then im trying to grab the food as the dog is trying to escape while im holding the door open with my leg and searching for my wallet at the same time. all while my wife is hacking her lungs up somewhere in the house. usually the delivery guy has a knowing smile on his face.

i could go for some pizza right about now.

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when i was younger i use to deliver , and had a buddy usually with my getting stoned. as long as i didnt speed i never got pulled over because of that pizza topper on my car. and plenty of times got invited inside to have fun haha. so now i always make it obvious that im stoned when they show up because alot of them do smoke and burn with them alot. good times.

or fried chicken.

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Best part of ordering delivery food... when you have them deliver it to your neighbor. lol

Heres what i did over the summer at a party when i ordered pizza. Order about a dozen pizzas and house I was at had a long drive way with no parking atall(Party duh) and we waited about an 2 hours for pizza! Are you kidding me???!! Anyways, I was on the porch and pizza guy brought over half the pizzas, then had to walk all the way back for the rest. Paid him, asked for change and he stood there... I assume he wanted gratuity. So I said to him, "Do you want the tip? Or my whole dick in your mouth?" and flicked us off and walk away. It was hilarious

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yea man... all the food places are on my block... so I pay people 2 dollar tip to walk 25 feet... but its always one of my friends so they get a little break and 2 bucks. and a smoke... exept the chinese place... they only hire chinese people...

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lol same situation minues the spray and the wife coughing her lungs out, its funny when some people come to door and are scared shitless of the dog and you look like you dont got a clue as to whats goin on in the world LOL

because no one ever gets past the interview, except chinese people. they're the only ones who can understand the broken chinese-english.

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